Chloe has taken up vacuuming. Which is fine with me. It's as good of a hobby as any.... In fact, she enjoys cleaning. Yes. I often find her with a bottle of windex spraying every surface in the house.

I plan on showing her these pictures when she is 15. "See...you LOVED cleaning when you were 2."

I am pretty sure she is going to love that.

I'm excited.

Pretty soon I will have a free maid service.

Did you watch this last night?
This girl's mom died suddenly a few days before she had to perform. And she was able to skate a perfect performance.

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/assetid=c7605327-2d06-47f3-996a-22ae5bc51bbf.html

This has been an interesting week. And interesting in a not the greatest type of way.
Last Saturday I got word a family friend, Martel Adams, died suddenly of a heart attack, leaving everyone who knew him shocked. Everyone knew him, and everyone liked him. He was 63. A generous and exemplary man. It is still really hard to believe...been thinking of his family all week...


What have I been up to?
I have been bumming around the house for a whole week now. This cold is kicking my trash. It seems to have turned into a lovely sinus infection. I cannot complain though. It has been 5 years since my last one. Oh well. The good news is I could smell my dinner tonight. That is a step in the right direction.

PS I hold no lofty ideas that any of you actually care about my sinus infection, so I apologize for mentioning such a minute and uninteresting detail of my life.
I just can't think of anything interesting to say because I have been bumming around my house all week, as preciously mentioned.

Did you exercise today?
You are in luck!
Take a break, and work up a sweat! (I realize that is a contradicting statement)

Single gals: Do not try these moves at a dance. You will remain single.
Taken gals: Don't show your man these moves. Unless, you don't want him to kiss you, or act like he knows you.
Whenever I do my dance moves, Don just gets a horrified look and leaves the room.
The first night we met, I did the Roger Rabbit to impress him.
He was not impressed.
But he married me anyway.
So that's good.

The good thing about having a kid, is they pass things along to you.

Chewed gum, phlem, bugers, chewed up peas, the pickle in a McDonalds hamburger, and my favorite: colds.

Last week Chloe was particularly pathetic with a chest cold. I should have read the writing on the wall because a few days later the little bug made it's home in my lungs. When your kids have colds it is like looking into a crystal ball- "Oh good! So in a few days I will be feeling and looking like that."

So I think I will be taking it easy today, and take a break from my usual routine. You know, ironing my sheets, alphabetizing my pasta, color coding Chloe's clothes, helping Chloe memorize the Presidents and who they ran against...that will just have to wait until next week.

Have you heard of "Sundance." Like the clothing line...
I was looking on their site for fun the other day. Just cause sometimes I get a kick out of seeing how overpriced things are.
I like playing a game with the Williams-Sonoma catalogue. I try to guess the most ridiculous price for a small item...and I am usually right. Like a potato peeler..."2o dollars!" Correct!!

So I like to play the same game with "Sundance." But even they never cease to amaze me.

I would like this bathing suit, if I had to pick a bathing suit that is.
It costs more than my wedding dress.

I quite like these sheets too.
But I don't know if I could actually sleep in them if I paid that much for them.

I like this dress.
And this skirt.

Anyway. I think this is sort of a fun game.
Okay, Okay...I am sick, give me a break!
I'm going to go lay down now.

Valentines For Real

Well the truth was, Don sat on my gum. And now we have to figure out how to get the gum off his suit pants. This weekend was fun though. Friday night we went on a double date with our new friends "The Carrs." We went to a Cuban restaurant with live music. It was quite cozy and delicious. I like Cuban food. Well, the Cuban food I had. We had plantain chips with black bean dip (tasted exactly like chips and salsa), some black bean mystery balls with avocado dip, steak and rice and beans. Oh, and chocolate bread pudding with ice cream. I had a magnificent time.

Usually Don hides his halo for pictures, but sometimes he just can't do anything about it, especially when he is extra nice, like when he told me I could order chocolate bread pudding even though everyone else was stuffed.

I on the other hand look like a pregnant man (which I am neither by the way, but would like to be one of those things, your guess as to which one).

Saturday morning I made a scavenger hunt for Don. I decided to do something nice for Don this year. His birthday is New years and looked over, so I thought he deserved a holiday. I put my poetry talents to work (I have an uncanny ability to rhyme simple words like "beat" and "eat.")

Anyway, it was a scavenger hunt down memory lane, ending at South Mountain, where we had a Chinese food picnic, where we had to fight off bees and give dirty looks to people who wanted to come and steal our Ramada.

We tried to take a hike, but Chloe put a damper on that. She took a few steps down a path and said, "K -Me" (carry me)..."Don't feel good Mom."

It was true, she didn't feel good...but I have a sinking suspicion she most likely didn't feel like hiking and pulled that little phrase out of her knee high socks.

Sunday we went to church.

And Monday morning Don brought me cream cheese filled crepes from Village Inn because to tell you the truth, Sunday was kind of lame.

I love crepes.

2 Lies and a Truth

What we did on Valentine's Day:
I will give you three choices.
You decide which one is true.

Scenario Uno:
Don chartered a plane to Niagara Falls. Once we got there, we hopped on a private boat and were serenaded with a private concert by Michael Buble. We had fresh pasta flown in from Florence and stuffed crepes from France for dessert. Then our boat accidentally went over the Falls. Luckily, we survived.
We thought it was so funny, that we bought t-shirts at the gift shop (on the Canadian side of course) that said; "I went Over the Falls-And Survived!"
It was fun.

Scenario Dos:
Don hired Paula Deen to come cook us brunch. She made us Krispy Kreme bread pudding, which if you ask me, was a little over the top. And some other stuff with the main ingredients being either cream or butter. After our brunch, we took a train ride to the Grand Canyon. Don bungeed off the side, and I just watched. After that, we rode Donkeys down to the bottom of the canyon, where a string quartet awaited, as well as...Michael Buble.
It was nice.

Scenario Tres:
We went to church and Don sat on my chewed gum.

Friday I was watching tv, and I saw an announcement that said "Olympic Opening Ceremonies Tonight." And I was like- "huh?" I had no idea the Olympics were starting so soon. Back in the day I was all about the Olympics. Back in the day, I would have known when the Olympics were starting. Back in the day I knew all the Figure Skater names. And I wanted to be them. I thought if only I lived somewhere cold, where ice rinks were readily available, I could have been standing there with a gold medal around my neck. I have since realized the error of my thinking. 1. I am not so coordinated 2. Your parents have to fork over a lot of money for figure skating lessons and all the costumes and stuff and 3. There is no way I am dedicated to one thing enough to make that my main goal in life. (eh...besides being a nice person...uh...) and 4. I excel in things like eating, not fitting into little froo froo figure skating outfits.

Anyway, I don't know what happened, I guess life...but I am not up on my figure skaters anymore. But I tell you what, it doesn't take me very long to get back into it. I am still amazed by what they can do on ice skates, especially since my epiphany a few years ago, that I am not that coordinated. I still think the men figure skaters look a little ridiculous though. Some of the costumes are a bit over the top.

Back in the 1908 Olympics they wore stuff like this. So I am guessing they didn't do tricks like this: I think maybe her skirt would have gotten into his eyes. That is making my chuckle envisioning it. I think this move would have been frowned upon in 1908.

This guy is sort of strange. See what I am talking about with men figure skaters? He is supposed to be a swan. Did you know Don was in skating lessons when he was a kid? He has faint memories of it. He doesn't remember exactly what happened, but something about his Dad nixing the idea. The thought of a figure skating Don is also making me chuckle.

Did you know there is artistic ROLLER skating?

Perhaps I could get into this.

I am pretty sure the competition is not as steep as in ice skating.

Not sure why. It looks almost as graceful, don't you think?

PS I love that she has a tambourine in her routine and that she is dancing to Madonna's "Holiday." No, it is not 1987, but 2007.

PPS Chloe LOVES this video.

PPPS When we were watching ice skating last night, she got up off the couch and said, "I do it!" and proceeded to mimic their twirly jumps.

Maybe Chloe will make my Olympic dreams come to pass and I can be the hysterical mother in the crowd. My dream has always been to be a stage mother. "Chin Up Baby!!!"

If there were a nuclear holocaust and everything turned to ash and nothing lived or breathed for thousands and thousands of years, I have decided that the first thing to come crawling back would be the bed bug. And if that were the case, there would be no reason for humans to ever want to return to Planet earth.

--------------

I spoke too soon...they are back.

---------------

Also.
Chloe got a cold. And I have been playing nurse/comforter and therefore we are somewhat confined to our house. She is sleeping right now. Poor thing. Oh wait. Now she is awake. She has some amazing extrasensory abilities. She might be a super hero.

Just another one of Chloe's "everyday wear" ensembles.

Complete with fishnets and shoes.

ooh la la!

Funny story. The fishnets used to belong to me. But then I washed them. And dried them. And now they belong to Chloe, if you know what I mean.

PS I told my Dad I had taken up sewing, and he told me to just make sure I don't sew through my finger, "you know that has happened..."

I had previously been unaware of the intense dangers involved with operating a sewing machine.

Please. Watch your fingers around sewing machines.

Thank you.

The broken pieces of my world are slowly coming back together. Knock on wood.
First of all, I THINK the bed bug ordeal is under control now.
And I think I can add exterminating to my list of "skills" (along with computer hacking and num chucks).
Secondly, my laundry room has gotten a face lift. It used to be stained disgusting concrete, and now it is fake wood!
Hey, I never claimed it belonged in Better Homes and Garden, but this is a major step up.
I am thinking if my laundry room is not grotesque, I will enjoy being in there more, and thus, my laundry will cease to be the bane of my existence.

Thirdly, I now have a working kitchen faucet. For the past week or so, or longer... I have lost track...every time I tried to do dishes water sprayed in my face and on my window. Normally I wouldn't care about my window. But Don paid for a maid to come wash my windows, hence I cared about my window.

And so I am feeling very happy.

And as a sidenote, I decided to throw these away.
I received these as a going home gift from the hospital after Miss Chloe was birthed.
I never opened them.
And I probably never will.

I am thinking the advice is probably not much better than the advice running 24 hours on that new mother channel in the hospital.
"Don't leave your newborn in a bath of water unattended."
"Change their diaper after each bowel movement."
"Do not drive with your baby in your lap."
"Do not give them knives to play with as toys."
"Do not feed your newborn caffeinated or carbonated beverages."
"Call 911 if their crib is on fire."

You know things like that.

And for my own amusement, I like finding these little self portrait jewels on my camera.

That is all.

: (

This is me crying.

I am in the depths of despair.

I found the tell tale signs of bed bugs in Chloe's bed now.

(Insert sobbing noises here)

I. Give. Up.

How many times have I said that?

Wishful thinking has me believing I am wrong, although I don't think I am. I am sort of an expert now. But whether I am right or wrong is of no matter. We are still going to have to treat the room as if they are there.

(Insert sobbing noises here)

And I have officially resigned myself to living in a hole.

Don told me he would spray and told me to "Go Blog."
So here I am.

Well on the bright side...
Don fixed our washing machine.
and
We had a fantastic dinner at Red Lobster.
I had chicken Linguini. And chocolate cake.
Turns out, I love sea food! Who knew? ; )
And I learned how to dip chocolate from my friend Amy.
And I got some new eye liner.
So I will think about these things. Instead of my previously repeated woes.

(Insert sobbing here)

It's not working.

Tonight's Thought.

Yes, I had one thought today.

Yes, just one.

That I can recall.

But before I astound you with my intellect, I just want to say:

Things in my house currently not working (or well on their way to not working):
1. My vacuum.
I made the unfortunate mistake of rinsing the filter and replacing it while it was still wet. I thought the reason it says right on the filter "Make sure filter is dry before replacing" was because you could get electrocuted or something. Turns out, the reason why is because the filter starts to mildew and when you turn your vacuum on it smells like rotting fish.
So that's very nice.
2. My kitchen sink. Nothing new.
3. My bed. (oh yes, have I mentioned I got bit on my chin and found the bug immediately and from here on out, I officially OFFICIALLY have moved rooms.)
4. My toilet. But that is nothing new.
5. Oh, and hooray, a new one to add to the list. My washing machine!
I believe it broke because I was doing about a trillion loads of heavy blankets a day, trying to solve my embarrassing bed situation.
Although, I still got bit on the chin.

Anyway. We quite like it. Now when the electricity goes out, it will be the final step to feeling like real camping!

So I will be setting up an account on the side of this blog. All donations will go to:
1. a new bed
2. a new washing machine
and
3. A Dyson vacuum.
and
4. The Michael Buble concert.

**By the way. I realized later that perhaps I should not have called Michael my boyfriend. I am a married woman and all. Just to clarify, I don't really think he is my boyfriend.
Plus, it would have never worked out between us. A guy that good, has to have an ego to match. How do I know this? Because I was in choir. Let me tell you. The nerdiest guy (if he can sing or thinks he can sing like Frank Sinatra) thinks he is the stud of the century. I could name names, but I won't. So Michael Buble is good looking and he sings like...like a cherub...a manly cherub...so I am sure he is a jerk.
Oh dear. This I believe is what you call, putting your foot further in your mouth.
Anyway. I am quite happily married.

Now.
On to my thought for the night.

So I like watching American Idol. Maybe this is very "so 10 years ago" but frankly I don't care.
They always put these inspirational stories on when they are going through the auditions, obviously for entertainment value.
And it works.
I tear up quite frequently.
But here is the thing.
So they have a kid on with a particularly moving story.
And then the judges tell them they are super awesome.
And then they are all happy and say something stupid like, "And now I can really be a role model!"
And it just ruins the inspirational story.

Okay. I personally don't think you should aspire to be a role model because that means you are not very humble, and you want to be a role model, for your glory, not for someone else. I think role models are humble and usually don't have to tell other people how awesome they are.
I suspect, the real translation for "I want to be a role model" is actually "I would really like to be rich and famous."
It just sounds better to say you want to be a role model.

Let me be clear though. I think this mostly applies to show business, not life in general. I applaud people who want to be role models- like really good men who step in to help kids without dad's and show them what it means to be a good man. That is awesome.

Or someone who keeps a positive attitude even though no one would blame them if they succumbed to bemoaning their lot in life.

The common thread is humility though. And most of the time, they do these things without pomp and circumstance.

But come on. Being a contestant on American Idol makes you a role model, how? Or show business in general.

Anyway, it kind of reminded me of the Academy Awards a few years back when "Titanic" won best picture and James Cameron got up there and initiated a moment of silence for those that died...and then a second later yelled into the mic "Let's Party!"

The two just don't go together.

And that is all I have to say tonight.

If you actually read this whole thing, I am sorry, you might have to get a life, because wow. This is really a drab topic.

Announcing:
The ugliest shoe I think I have ever seen.
Isn't a flip flop and a boot kind of an oxymoron?Also. I frankly do not appreciate Lady Gaga's, uh...talents? Is that what we are calling them these days? I know many artists are a little, "different" shall we say, and perhaps the inspiration for their "genius." But I think Lady Gaga is just plain gross. In fact, it kind of makes me mad she is so famous. Not like my boyfriend Michael Buble. Sigh. He is...amazing.
Oh and hint hint, Don. Don't you think this would be ridiculously fun?
Go ahead, Surprise me!
And I will get a new pair of shoes for the concert too! I know you were hoping I would suggest that!