Thursday, December 31, 2009

Christmas

Christmas morning Chloe ended up in our bed (typical) and started moaning, tossing and turning. I should have realized something terrible was coming. But I was delirious in sleep to put two and two together. Next thing I know....Chloe sits up and wretches all over my bed.
Don and I figured, well, she did eat an inhuman amount of chocolate yesterday. Hopefully it is out of her system and she will be all better. Unfortunately we were wrong. Little Chloe couldn't keep anything down. I lost count of how many times she threw up. She clung to me for dear life most of the day and then finally exhausted herself into a nap. Needless to say, I don't think Christmas was dancing sugar plums for her. Although, I am pretty sure she still doesn't know much about Christmas. Except that for some reason there are lots of fat men in big red suits and toys hanging on trees, all for her enjoyment of course.
She loves this little doll I bought her. She noticed it in a K-Mart magazine a couple months ago and said, "hold it, hold it" and was very frustrated that the picture did not jump off the page into her loving arms. She is in love with babies in general. Fake babies. I am not sure about real babies. Anyway this baby crawls and coos, and either passes gas or burps. We are not sure. She is very annoying after awhile. But Chloe loves her. And I love Chloe. Despite that she passes gas and burps as well. And throws up on Christmas.
Funny story. We took this baby to an event, which shall remain nameless to protect the names of the innocents involved. And there was a very old woman who was just staring at her and standing over her for about 5 minutes. I thought she must be very impressed by the high techness of the doll. I went over and picked up the doll. And later she came over to me and said "Oh I am glad that is a doll. I thought it was a real person and I was standing by her to make sure she didn't get stepped on."
Have I ever told you, I do not want to get old?

My Dad got us all books this year. Including Chelsey. Let me tell you something about Chelsey. She hates reading. I was cleaning her room and she had these inspirational posters that said "Read a Good Book-It will really take you places!" You know the types of posters in your elementary school classrooms. And anyway, I asked Chelsey what she wanted to do with them. And she said, "Uh, throw them away. Those don't apply to me anymore."
And that is her policy on reading.
Well my Dad gave her the book, "Desperate passage." It's about the Donner party. As in the Donner party who resorted to eating each other.
Chelsey sighed in disgust and said, "I don't even read."
And to tell you the truth, I wouldn't read that book either.
But later in the day, we figured out who the book was really intended for.


Chelsey got some fabulously flattering clothes. Don thinks the red pajamas are literally disturbing. Really, I don't know why.


Chloe did enjoy opening her presents and got 2 Little Mermaids, and other little dolls to play with. She made Liz try on all the clothes on her Barbie. As in Liz put the clothes on the Barbie. Liz did not put the clothes on herself, lest you be confused. I hardly did any shopping for Chloe because I knew other people were doing it for me. And I am glad I didn't. Chloe got spoiled. The day after Christmas when she had made a full recovery it was like Christmas again for her because she actually felt well enough to adequately appreciate her new toys.
Chloe threw up on my couch. So I had to improvise.
After we opened presents we had our traditional breakfast burritos prepared by Don.
Don is the master breakfast food chef.
We also had pancakes and buttermilk syrup which is heaven on earth.
Other notes:
-We saw Christmas Carol on Christmas eve. Awesome movie. It was scary, but Chloe didn't seem to be bothered. Although she was throwing up all day which usually makes me indifferent too.
-Liz gave me the Glee soundtrack and Chloe's favorite song is "Don't Rain on My Parade." She says "Again!" at the end of it and if I sing along she tells me "No, No . No singing!" Which does not really make me feel good about myself.
-Don gave me a sewing machine. Which was a surprise because I didn't ask for one. And, I don't sew. But I am determined to learn how to sew my duvet cover. Which I did not get for Christmas.
-Other surprise gifts were a cool cupcake stand from Leonore and a crystal mistletoe from my Aunt Carol. Feel free to come over and kiss.
-I gave Don a shower radio and a shirt. Which sounds pretty lame when I write them down. Sorry Don.
-I just got put in the Relief Society Presidency
-I played Settlers of Cataan 3 nights in a row. I want to kill whoever created this game.
-Attended a baby shower for good friend Kristi.
-went shopping with old friends Cara and Heather.
-went to Mimi's with family
And so on and so forth.
I tell you. This has been a really fun holiday season.
And tomorrow is Don's birthday (yes he is a New Years baby) and then...
well I guess the holidays are officially over.
BUT I am rooting for my Dyson come my birthday.
And wow. This post makes me sound very materialistic doesn't it.
Eh, Christmas is about giving.
There, now that is much better.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Christmas Eve

Sigh. I love Christmas. This has been a fantastic Christmas season. I am sad it is already coming to a close. But I do like getting my house back in order. Next year the goal is to not procrastinate. I do not want to be shopping Christmas eve again. But who am I kidding. I know myself too well. I am sure I will do it again. You see I make a million resolutions and the one at the top gets semi accomplished but the ones at the bottom get an "oh crap" when the year end rolls around and I realize I never gave that one a second thought. And Christmas shopping early will for sure be an "oh crap" moment come next year. So here was our Christmas Eve. In no particular order. This was the year of the princess for Chloe. Cinderella more specifically. And this was her first official Christmas present from Aunt Julie. And I think this could have easily appeased her for the entirety of Christmas. But when you are the only grandchild on one side, you have the illustrious privilege of being spoiled beyond belief. I am sorry future children on the Mott side. Chloe will always be numero uno. Better get used to it.
My dad gave me this coat. I mean I handpicked it out for him and he told me he was getting it. But boy am I glad I got it. And I swiped it before Christmas so I could wear it to our partay.

We had a fire....


After the insane-o's jumped in the swimming pool.

We sang Carols and I sang O Holy Night.

I just can't get enough of her backside.
Grandpa Mortensen quizzed the children on the Christmas story...

Children jumped down the stairs.
And of course there was the usual enchiladas and tamales.
And then we all went home to prepare for Santa Clause.
And well Don and I just went home and went to sleep.
Chloe is still not up on the whole Santa thing.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas...and that you all look as good in your new clothes as we do.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A conversation between Chloe and me:

Wow Chloe you look like a mermaid in your dress!

I naw a mumaid!

Oh, I mean you look like a princess!

No! I naw a pincess!
I Ko-ee.

So I laughed...

No! Naw funny Mom! No waffing. No No. No waffing.

And she seriously got mad at me for laughing.
Well I guess being Chloe is better than being a princess or a mermaid. That girl has got high self esteem.

Today I had brunch with some of my good friends from yester years. They didn't come to the HS reunion because they live back east. So we got together now! So much fun catching up ladies! You are all super stars!! You should move back this way. After all, we do have a TC Eggingtons, isn't that enough? I don't know about you, but a good omelet is worth a move in my opinion. I am sure the food is just lousy over in D.C. and Boston.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Who's that man in the beg red suit...

Must be Santa. In Chloe's own words: (I translated.)
And I don't like him very much. I only agreed to sit on my Mom's lap. What a weird looking person. But I tried again with a different Santa. Because my Mom told me I would get a bag of candy. He wasn't so bad. But I still think he is weird.

In my Mom's own words:
Well today I am sighing as I look around the wreck that is my house.

Also, I am excited to announce that I am officially a published writer.
I even have a pen name.
Lest you become too impressed I might mention I am married to the boss.
But I will have a restaurant review published in a local magazine.
And I think that might be a wish come true.

Also,
Last night we had dinner at Manuels and a small Christmas program with Don's uncle Rudy and his family. He was actually the one that married us. We had a great night. We read out of Luke 2 and then I sang O Holy Night. And you know what, I finally found my Christmas spirit.
Guess that's what happens when you finally realize what Christmas is all about. Christ. Favorite Christmas memory of this year so far.
And Rudy even had carolers show up at his door with guitars.
What a fabulous night.


Hope you all are enjoying the Holidays and that you feel the reason for the season!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Check

Christmas Enrichment
check

Christmas Party
check

cookie exchange
check

dropped off cookies
check

eaten 7 pounds of sugar in various baked goods
check

church Christmas party
check

Sat Chloe on 2 Santa's lap
check
1st attempt unsuccessful
2nd attempt succesful. Once I informed her It was the ticket to a bag of candy. But she didn't smile about it.

played violin
check

sister comes in
check

help Dad get new carpet and decorate his house
check

Sunday musical Christmas program
check
sang and played piano and SO glad it is over

Enjoy the Christmas season....

Uncheck.

And that is the goal of this week.
Next year...simplify.

Ya right.

Monday, December 14, 2009

5th Anual Mortensen Christmas Party

We look forward every year to our Christmas party. I thought I was in pretty good shape for the party until my friend called me and said they were going to be late. I asked what time they were coming. They said "6:30." I said oh that is when the party starts. And my friend said, "I thought the party was at 6:00." So I went and looked and realized the party was at 6:00 and that I was not in good shape. You should probably know what time your own party starts. I am thankful for my friend. Otherwise I would have been going to my party looking like a hag and that would have made me sad. Somehow we pulled everything together. Although I had to nix my luminaries. : (

We even paid Santa and his wife to show up at our party. We go all out! Okay. They just showed up and got a bunch of weird looks.
And the highlight of the party every year is the White Elephant gift exchange. I am happy to report there was not one good gift in the whole bunch.
Bad movies...Bad books... (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy)This made its appearance for the 3rd year in a row. Unfortunately the cd, "Music to Strip By" was out of circulation because the benefactors from last years party were out on maternity leave. Apparently the cd worked.
Bonnie thought her inappropriate gift was pretty funny.


Especially since Robert got it.

I laughed so hard that I cried that Donna got these horrendous imitation Crock shoes. We have a billion of these in our garage...long story....

I got toothpaste and dental floss which I am pretty sure was a parting gift from a recent dentist's visit. I was ecstatic. But at least Don got a beautiful rose night light. Fit for any 90 year olds flowered bathroom.I lied. There was one good gift. The Snuggie! Here Melanie is doing the commercial for us.

Here is the table. Minus the food which I forgot to take a picture of. We did a potluck this year and all the food was excellent. Too bad I forgot to take a picture of it.
We forgot to do smores this year. And we forgot to play Mexican Horseshoes. But we did have our fire. And I was able to put make up on before the guests showed up. And this year was the best White Elephant of all time. So all in all I think a good time was had by all.

I love parties. I love Christmas because of parties. I mean the implementing of them are not that fun, but attending them rock. I implemented 2 parties this week. And both were a smashing success if I do say so myself. Much because of this lady right here: Elizabeth (on right) is my gym buddy and all around good friend. Great friend. She was the one that helped me peel millions and billions of yams for Thanksgiving. Anyway, she was in charge of our women's church party this year. And she did a fantastic job. She asked me if I wanted to help, and I said yes!! Because as I mentioned, I love parties. Elizabeth did all the painstaking things like grocery shopping and list making and delegating. The things that are not so fun about throwing parties.
I did stuff like suggest the food we should eat. Because I really like to eat.

And I suggested my current favorite food. Cafe Rio burritos. They are pretty trendy right now. Maybe one day the cafe rio burritos will be like jello. You know, the staple at Mormon parties. But if they are that won't be a bad thing. These babies are fantabulous.

Oh and we also had homemade tamales and I brought hot cocoa courtesy of my borrowed hot cocoa maker (thanks Becky!). And you know what the secret to luxurious hot cocoa is? Whole milk. Never. I repeat NEVER make it was water. That is a sin.
Anyway it was a great night. Full of food, friends, music, thoughts and oh yes, pie. It really felt like Christmas too being that the temperature of the room never got above 60 degrees.

Friday, December 11, 2009

I have something to say. And everyone in this household is asleep (including Chloe in her own bed. Hoorah!...It only took 2 hours. But less screaming this time so we are making excellent progress).

Anyway we watched "Julie and Julia." I liked all the parts with Julia Child. But the Julie girl was kind of unlikeable. I don't even know why to be exact. It was probably because I read the 1st two chapters of the book and it only took me 2 chapters to get a bad taste in my mouth for her. Kind of narcissitic and negative. And she swore a lot and talked about icky things. But then again the book is about her so she does have the right to do that I suppose....

And then it got me thinking. Hmmm. I am a stranger reading her book, based on her blog about her. I don't know her. The only impression I get about her is from her writing. Perhaps in person she is completely different.

It kind of makes me shudder and think I should pull the plug on my own blog!
I guess just as long as a movie is not made based on my blog.
But wow, that would be a really boring movie.
It would be like:
scene 1: Chloe changing clothes
scene 2: Chloe making a big fat mess
scene 3: Chelsey says something funny
scene 4: Melissa talks about things she wants.
scene 5: Chloe making a big fat mess.
scene 6: Melissa talks about how much she loves food.
THE END of the movie.

And that pretty much sums up my blog, doesn't it.
Last Sunday we went to Don's sister Kay's house. His other sister Denise (and husband Mark) were in town from New York. They come every year to help with the pecan harvest. Don's parents have a pecan orchard down in St. David, AZ. So Denise and Mark came up to the valley over the weekend.

Kay hosted an enchilada dinner. Oh and Texas Sheetcake. Have I mentioned that Texas Sheetcake rocks my world? I have to get the recipe for the REAL enchiladas because they make me very happy.

We had a great time with the family and seeing them. Denise told me she didn't want to be on the internet so I cut her face out. But there is her hand. Isn't it lovely?

I on the other hand have no problem plastering my face for millions of strangers to see and read about my personal life. Okay...if I put it that way maybe I do. I guess I figure there are millions of blogs and no one that doesn't care will bother to read little ole Triple M's Blog.

On a sidenote, if you will notice the picture above Chloe is wearing her Halloween costume. For the 3rd day in a row. I got her dressed for church that day and while I was in the other room she took off her dress and put on her Halloween costume and informed me "I ready Mom."

Thank you Chloe. We fought about that all the way to church and through church as I made the mistake of letting her carry in her costume just to get her in the building. Bad idea. For the entirety of church I had to listen to, "I wear Dress mom? I wear dress Mom? I wear dress Mom? I wear dress Mom?" You get the idea.

I am fully aware that I made my own bed and had to sleep in it. The same way I am aware that I made my own bed, and she has to sleep in it with me. Literally speaking.

Well Chloe. Aren't you glad you are my trial and error child? Don't worry. You can attend therapy later on in life and blame all your issues on your parents. That is the trend these days.



Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A Warning to first time parents:
DO NOT sleep with your toddler to get them to sleep in the big girl bed!

I am telling you. You will create your worst nightmare.

I miss the crib. Chloe figured out how to climb out of it a couple weeks ago and since then we took it down as it served no purpose anymore.

Oh how I miss the crib. Now there is nowhere to put Chloe to safely contain her.

Anyway. I created a monster by sleeping with her every night. And now she can't sleep without me.

So we are out to change this.

It took 2 hours last night.

We did it the nice way.
She got up.

We did it the mean way.
She got up.

We locked our door.
She figured out how to unlock it.
Seriously.

We gave her water.
She threw up all over Don.

I gave her a "Goodnight Dog."
She threw it.

We turned on music.
She screamed over it.

After 2 hours of this I guess she tuckered herself out.
Oh and Don had to sit at the edge of her bed to make sure she didn't get up.

She ended up in our bed at 2:30 AM and we were so exhausted we let it slide.

Sigh.

Miss Chloe is a stubborn little thing.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Little Match Girl




So I was watching The Little Mermaid with Chloe for the millionth time, and I saw that on the special edition disk their was an animated version of "The Little Match Girl."

I know it is a classic, but I didn't really know the story. So I put this on and thought it was Disney so it would at least end happy. Chloe kept saying, "She Sad?...She sad?...she sad?"

And boy oh boy, by the end of it I was in tears. And I don't know why, but I couldn't stop crying.

I've never been able to handle anything that deals with lonely or forgotten children. Those stories just make me ache. Like "Oliver" or "Empire of the Sun." You know what I mean? I saw "Empire of the Sun" when I was a kid and felt so sorry for the kid I couldn't stand it. (Christian Bale was the star in that movie when he was a kid in case you haven't seen it. It is a good movie, but really sad. But it does have a happy ending)

Anyway, just warning you.

But I shouldn't have been surprised about The Little Match Girl. This story was written by the same man who wrote the original "Little Mermaid." And in his version Ariel didn't get the Prince. She became sea foam.

Monday, December 7, 2009

On Christmas Decorating:

I like to decorate.

You know I am not one of those homemakers that relishes in making things homemade though.

I do not sell anything on etsy.com.

I wish it were a talent. I really do.

I look at friends who do possess that talent and I say to myself-WOW!!!!

You ladies rock it. You really do.

Nevertheless, I like to decorate. It is probably one of my favorite things to do.

But I consider shopping my talent.

(And Don considers it his curse.)

Every once in awhile I forget my un-craftiness (usually after feeling inferior to my crafty friends after reading their blogs) and make my way over to Martha Stewart.com for some inspiration.

I read about her crafts and I feel very tired.

I read "sewing machine" and I say-PASS.

(Although I should keep in mind the time I saw Martha on Oprah and when asked about some ideas for quick recipes she said: (read in a Martha Stewart voice)
"Oh Yes...Well a Sun Dried Tomato Pasta is an easy and quick, yet elegant dinner.
First you take your tomatoes and set them out into the sun to dry...."

Obviously she is in a whole other (bordering on lunacy) league. In my (humble) opinion.

Anyway...

I say when it comes to crafts, isn't there anything that just involves shopping, and maybe some glue??!!

But then I remember, what is the point of trying to be crafty then if all it involves is shopping.

Take for example:


Now, this I can do.

But...that's because all I have to do is buy some cranberries and some flowers.

Well If you will excuse me I have to go to Target.

Saturday, December 5, 2009




An awesomely good song. And an awesomely bad music video.
Get up and dance. You know you want to.

Boys


(So this is how I would decorate for a boys room. Although I am not so crazy about the sheep. But I like the white and brown. And I suppose there has to always be some sort of theme with a baby's room.)

Hello little blog. I have something I want to talk to you about.
Oh I know, I know. I already talked to you today. But I am kind of bored right now so I thought we could chat.
How about you listen and I talk? You know...what usually happens.

The topic today is: Baby boys.

So I went to a baby shower today for a friend. And she is having a boy.
It seems everyone I know is having a boy.
If you are pregnant right now, I can tell you what you are a having.
A boy.
How do I know that?
Well because everyone I know is having a boy.

Here's my thing with baby boys.
How are you supposed to dress them?
How are you supposed to decorate their rooms?
I know it is really, really silly. But these two things keep me from desiring a boy with all my heart.
I am sorry future son (hopefully, otherwise Don might have to take on another wife to produce a son, you know like Henry the VIII. But I don't think he would behead me like old Henry did) .
I am sure by the time you read this, these words will seem very silly. As soon as I gaze into your (brown?) eyes and stroke your (brown?) hair.
And marvel at your "distinguished" nose.
I am sure all thoughts of nurseries and clothes will go out the window.

But until then, I just have to say. Why must boy clothes be so dippy?
Here is my confusion:
Dress him like a fru fru (I guess he could get away with it, I mean he is a BABY after all)
Or dress him like a teenager? (I mean, he is a BABY after all...is that right? Should my BABY boy be looking like a Ambercrombie model?)
Or dress him like a sports star?
Or future zoologist?
I mean. What if he likes cooking?
Maybe they should make baby boy clothes with cooking paraphernalia.
That hasn't been gender stereotyped yet.
I do know French people like to cook though, right?
I digress.

And then nurseries.
Pick one:
Sports
Boats
Cars
Animals. But only certain animals. No flittery fluttery things like birds or butterflies.
Only boyish type animals like monkeys, giraffes, or elephants.
Or gender neutral: sheep. (who decided sheep were gender neutral?)

But perhaps this is the real reason I am scared to have a boy.
I am not into
sports, boats, cars, or boyish type animals.

But I guess I am into boys.
You know, when I was a teenager, I was VERY HAPPY women had baby boys.
Because they grow up.
And they get really cute.
And I really wanted one.
And I got myself one.

And hopefully, maybe one day, some 20 something girl will thank me for having a son.
Because. Boys are pretty awesome in their own special way.
Even if their clothes are dippy.
Chelsey met with Santa last night at a church party.
Afterwards she said:

Chelsey: I don't think Santa's real.

Do you think he's real?

Dad: Well, you've seen Polar Express haven't you?

Chelsey: Well he sounded different from last year. He's definitely not real.

Friday, December 4, 2009

I discovered that Chloe and I share a useful talent. Lucky you Chloe!

You can beat all your friends in underwater somersault races because you my friend, have the ability to plug your nose with your upper lip.
And you look really pretty in the process.
You sure won the genetic lottery!


Thursday, December 3, 2009

Thanksgiving Reunion Part 3

The last day of the reunion was Park Day. We gathered together and ate pizza, played games, and tried to finish eating up all the leftovers. We were succesful. It was a beautiful day. Breezy and cool. It had been 80 degrees the past 2 days. So I was glad to finally feel some Thanksgivingish weather.
Mr. Don was put in charge of organizing games for the event. Don is the game man in the family.

Chloe ate all the junk food she could find. As usual. Is it bad that in comparison I counted the cheetos as real food....


This is Don's cousin Pat from Mexico. He is totally the coolest person ever.

And what would park day be without someone getting hurt. My nephew Tyler did something to his finger....
Luckily there was a doctor around. Turns out he broke some tendons and he gets to keep the funky finger forever. Unless he wants surgery or something like that. It will be a good conversation piece and will drive the ladies wild. I say keep it.

And what would a Mexican reunion be without a pinata. It said Happy Birthday on it, but oh well. Chloe's cousin almost identical in age was pretty stoked.

Not sure what Chloe's deal was. Must be that she is so dainty and well mannered and opposes violence in any fashion. Future PETA member in our midst.
And good thing there was MORE candy. Because Chloe had not ingested an even 10 pounds of it.

This is posed, by the way. Although very natural I must say.

And as quicly as it started the reunion was over and everyone headed back to where they came from. I must say I am a lucky girl to have married into such a fabulous family. It all ended too fast....