Sunday, October 28, 2012

I'm pretty excited that Halloween is this week.  
And so is Chloe.
We went to  4 parties this weekend and Chloe and Macie thought their lives couldn't get any better.
I bought both of them ballerina skirts.  Chloe wanted to be a ballerina and I bought her a skirt.  But Macie kept stealing it. so then I got her one too.  The lady threw in this classy hat.  who doesn't want a mini top hat? I know I do.



                                                               
Chloe taught me how to pose. No, she really did.                                                        


 See, she taught me by example.

 So last week Chloe made a "house" in the corner of my living room.  and she slept there 2 nights in a row.  and I let her because I knew it didn't matter. She would end up in my room at 3 in the morning no matter where she started out the night.
 She set up her bathroom...
 And a bed of course...

And Macie, just being Macie.

Today was the Primary Program and I was so proud of Chloe.  She got right up to the podium and delivered her lines without a hitch.  And she sang  all the songs with enthusiasm and a huge smile.  It made me feel very, very happy.

Daaaaaaaaarling


So I borrowed this costume last minute and got all the credit.
That is my kind of costume.
Thanks Robyn for bailing me out!
I thoroughly enjoyed being Cruella.
And Chloe told me that I "Looked Really Pretty. Not like the mean lady."

Friday, October 26, 2012

So I wrote a post about Facebook. But I decided I should delete it, because a few hours later I wish I hadn't had posted it.  Because I think it sounded too snarky.  It was supposed to be funny, but I think it came across as mostly snarky. 
So I apologize.
And I hope no one read it.

And now back to the regular scheduled programming.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Chelsey Updates

I don't think I have mentioned yet, that Chelsey broke her foot a few weeks ago. She was vacationing in Colorado with my Dad and Brother, and tripped on the sidewalk.  And as luck would have it, she broke a bone in her foot.  So she has been prescribed a scooter and a boot for the duration of 6 weeks.  And as you can imagine, she is thrilled.  

Here is a list of her life goals:
1. look wheare Im going so I don't trip.
2. dont smoke or dreink.
3. don't end up in jale at all
4.as soon as my foot get's better and I get my cast taken off, exercise evry day. for the rest of my life.


Chelsey told me yesterday that for Halloween she plans on being a motorcycle driver. She said she thought of the idea after her unfortunate accident.  

Tuesday, October 16, 2012


Chloe has been cracking me up lately.  Well she always cracks me up, but it seems like everything out of her mouth the past couple days have been hilarious to me.  First of all, I got her school pictures back yesterday.  And I love her fake smile.  She never smiles like this.  And she never lets me put her hair in pigtails anymore either.  For some reason she has decided that she must wear her hair in a ponytail. Every. Single. Day.  If I had hair like this, I would not be wasting it on a ponytail.  I wear my hair in a ponytail every day because I don't have hair like this.



Yesterday I told Chloe I needed to give her a check for her lunch money.  A few moments later she came back with this:

She said, "Mom, I made you a check.  I tried my very best to make a check, but I can only make "v's."  Do you think the lunch lady would accept this as a viable check?  I should try it.  

The other day in the car she asked me, "Mom, what's a habit?"
And I said, "It is something you do every day."

Fast forward a couple days and she said to Don, "Dad I learned a new word!"
Don said, " What is it?"
And she said, "rabbit!"
And Don said, "You already know what that word means."
And she said, "No, it's a different kind of rabbit.  It's something that you do every day."

Then yesterday I was in Target with her and her friend Garrett, and I hear her say, "Garret I learned a new word!  Gabit!  It means something that you do every day!"

Chloe has also told me that she doesn't want to take ballet lessons anymore.  She wants to take gymnastics lessons instead.  This is because she "already knows all the moves."  So I guess she has mastered ballet, now on to gymnastics.

Macie also is always doing funny things, it is just that she doesn't say words yet so I don't have as many stories for her.  I say this, so in future years she doesn't say, "Hey Mom, how come all the stories and pictures are of Chloe-you must not love me as much!"  I say this from personal experience, being the 3rd forgotten, homely child.  wah wah.  

Yesterday Macie was crying and I picked her up and was cuddling with her and I said to her, "You need a nap, don't you."
And she pointed with her little finger to her crib. So I laid her down, and she snuggled up to her pillow, I left the room, I heard her coo for a little bit, and then...silence. She slept for 3 hours.  

Yesterday Chloe was doing her cartwheels and somersaults.  Macie has got the somersault down but she is still working on the cartwheel.  Macie got herself in cartwheel position with arm and leg extended and then just fell down on her side.  

Last night I was filled with joy and gratitude for these perfectly amazing autonomous creatures that have been entrusted to Don and me to love and to cherish and to feed and to wipe their little bums.  And I said to myself last night, all the riches in the world, and a working dishwasher, could never  measure up to the worth of even 1% of one of their precious souls.  I love them so much.  

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Show Low Fall Break

 This week Chloe had school off.  So just me and the girls went north and stayed at a cabin with my super hot friend Robyn.  I loved getting up North and getting a taste of Fall.  The Aspens were breathtaking.  I love Aspens.  They are my favorite tree.  I love their fluttering leaves and their skinny white trunks covered in black eyes.
 This was the day that I decided to wear a black unitard.  I bought some black leggings awhile back,  and at home with my full length mirror I said to myself out loud, "Melissa, never ever wear these in public." But since the cabin had no full length mirror, I forgoed my original conclusion. And so I went through the day looking like a mime. A mime with thunder thighs.


 We went to a nearby lake one day.  We skipped rocks and had a picnic lunch.  And Chloe complained that she was freezing.

On our way back we stopped at a park because it had one of those Old Merry Go Rounds.  You remember the ones,  the ones that almost killed you as a child.  The kids loved it.  Even though I am pretty sure it gave them all headaches and stomach aches.  Robyn and I decided that we understood why most responsible parks took them out due to their high probability of seriously maiming children if left unsupervised.  But we discovered this park was not too concerned with safety or equipment, so it was no wonder it still had a merry go round.  Here is a tunnel you could crawl through,  just watch out for the massive hole and make sure your kids don't know what word starts with the letter "f."
It seriously was the most ghetto park I have ever seen.  But the kids only noticed the super steep slides and and the whirl-o-thunder. Seriously these slides were ridiculously steep.  I wish I had a picture to show you.  The whole park seemed like something I would dream up in one of my eerie nonsensical nightmares.

 macie's bar routine has really improved since being put in gymnastics lessons.



                We really had a splendid adventure, thanks Robyn, you rock my world.
Fall is here! And Chloe has done her level best to decorate for it.  She and her friend Mo made some faces and stuck them on grapefruit.  I found one in my china cabinet.  I believe this is a Princess.  Her friend Mo made a skeleton.  





 And she decorated her pumpkin.
 Yes, in Phoenix you can go swimming in October.


She also made this bag  and then told me we needed to go for a walk so she could take pictures and print them off.  She said the pictures needed to be of "pretty stuff or spooky stuff."  So here are the pictures that she deemed pretty or spooky:
                                                                     spooky


                                                                         spooky

                                                                         pretty

                                                                        pretty

                                                                      spooky

                                                                          Delicious

                              (By the way, did you know you can make homemade butternut squash ravioli using won ton wrappers?  I discovered they taste even better if you saute them in butter after you cook them. Because, what doesn't taste better sauteed in butter?)

Sunday, October 7, 2012






Bedtime Conversation between Chloe and I:

Chloe: Mom! Tell me a story.  But not a short story.  Not like, "Once upon a time, there was a girl. And she got killed.  The end." Not like that, okay?

Me: Okay.

Chloe:  Oh we forgot to say our prayers!
"Dear Heavenly Father...Help me to have good dreams about rainbows and fairies and unicorns and princesses....not about scary things.  And help me to have a good day at school tomorrow....Amen"

Me: Chloe, you don't have school tomorrow. It's Sunday.  But we don't go to church, we are watching it on tv tomorrow.

Chloe: Oh man....General Conference??!! I hate that!  That's when adults just watch the tv and don't talk to kids, or read them stories.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

"A Girl Got Aten By A Wolf"

By: Chloe J. Mortensen
 dedicated to Dad

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She was so pretty.  She ran away. She was scared.
She had to pay a penny to get over the gate. But she needed 5 money to get over the gate.
So she had a lemonade stand.
Soon she had tons of money.  She went through the gate.
And soon the wolf ate her.
And no one ever saw her again.
The End.