Daily Dose of Chelsey

Today my dad watched Chloe while I went grocery shopping. (Have I mentioned I have the best dad in the world?)
When I went to go pick her up I found Chelsey, my dad and Chloe all chilling out in Chelsey's bedroom.
I glanced around and noticed an unopened box with a really cute watch in it.
I exclaimed, "Chelsey! That watch is so cute! You have never taken it out of the box?! How old is it??"
To which Chelsey replied, "It's an inanimate object. It doesn't have an age."
------------------------
My dad looked at the watch too and said, "Chelsey. Maybe you should start dressing up a bit. You know, wear a watch, get a permanent." (My dad is under the misguided impression that "permanents" are still "in." Mostly because that is what my mom did with my sister's and my hair from about 1986-1993. And THAT is a whole story in and of itself. Shutter.)

Chelsey was as usual, unenthused.

My dad continued, "Chelsey, bring me the watch. I'll set the time for you. What time is it?"

And a disgruntled Chelsey quipped, "The time is 'who cares' because I don't wear watches like that."
stomp. stomp. stomp.
-------------------------
Yesterday Chelsey told me in private that she doesn't want me imitating her voice anymore when I tell her stories. She most seriously told me that, "Just because I can't say my "r's" doesn't mean other people have to know that. How do you think that makes me feel?"
wow. consider me put in my place.
I asked if I could still tell her stories as long as I didn't do her voice. And she smiled and said that was okay.
Thank goodness!
But unfortunately I might have to retire the voice, which I have become somewhat famous for among my adoring fans.

Worst Music Video of All Time

I stole this from my friend Jourdan's blog. It makes me tear up from laughing so hard.

Inconsequential thoughts for the day.

So a few months back I had never heard about a little store called Anthropologie.

Then through the blogging world, it seemed I was the last person on the planet to have not heard of nor joined the Anthroplogie love fest.

So when my friend came to visit a few months ago, she took me to the store and I got to see what all the hooplah was about.

Admittedly, their stuff is ridiculously cute.

Although I would probably make my house wear their housewares before I would make myself wear the people wear. Just because I am not sure if it is exactly my style. That being said, I think other people look terrif sporting that vintage vibe.

I digress.

What's my point?

Oh ya. So really cute. I have established that. But holy Bologna! Who can afford that stuff!

So today I got something in the mail from "Anthropologie." And here is their genius. I KNEW it had to be some promotional thing, yet it was packaged in such a way that I felt a little giddy, like I was getting a card, handmade with love. From an old friend. (Inner voice: No Melissa! Do not be deceived!) And like I said, when I opened it up, I was right. But it was so darn cute I didn't care. And it said to me in love:

"Celebrate!

For your birthday, treat yourself to something special!

Use this card for 15% off your total store purchase any day this month."

Yes! 15 whole percent!!

So the $118 shower curtain I have been eyeing is...wait for it...wait for it...only $100.3 plus tax!

Hoorah!

Sadly, I am halfway tempted to get in my car and go buy it.

And thus, their genious. They essentially sent me a piddly coupon in a buttoned pouch.

Thank goodness for one of my greatest pleasures: Target.

They have a snack bar too. And here is a picture of Chloe. Just because I like her. you're welcome.

The Hoity Toitys

this post might have a lack of proper punctuation as Chloe is currently restricting useful appendages. she's a little pooped from her day trip to McDonalds with Grandpa. And she smells like caramel sauce, which I am told, was the only thing consumed from the Happy Meal.
Not surprising.

This weekend we went to the Scottsdale Art Festival, because as noted in previous posts, Don and I are avid art collectors
art connoisseurrs really.
just plain classy people.
and we got free tickets.
It was a warm day. A nice day. But warm. Which makes me a little nervous about the impending heat.


sidenote: Chloe's new doll and stroller. babies having babies....

so back to the art festival.
Chloe made a hat and we helped. sort of.
What a great idea, these hats! now this is a craft I can do!

Chloe just doing her daily lunges. boodylicous.

You know sometimes I think my daughter is slated for a modeling career...as every doting mother does I am sure.

but then...maybe not.

the best part was the groovy band.

and you know what, once the sun goes down, the weather is mighty spectacular.

And now time for a Chelsey story.

Last week I bought Chloe a doll and a stroller for the doll. She is in love.
Chelsey saw the doll and told me, "I used to have a doll like that."
"Really?" I said.
"Yes," she said. "But she passed away a few years ago."
"Oh really?" I replied. "What happened?"
"My friend accidentally ripped her arm off."

The end.
For the doll too.

"Mine"

These are going to be mine in a few days. I special ordered them from an artist named Patty Baker. I am buying them with the inheritance money from my Grandma. The quilt painting reminded me of the feeling I would get when I would go visit her every summer. And the aspen...well I just love aspens. They are my favorite tree. Unfortunately they do not grow in the desert. So I am putting one up IN my house instead. I am excited to own my very own original art.

I need...

Help.
Chloe officially hit the terrible twos.
Behavior wise. Not chronologically just yet.
Temper tantrums.
Temper tanturms.
And more temper. tantrums.
Obviously what I am doing is not working because she continues to throw them. And she continues to pretend to be deaf.
Does anyone have any magic potions, powder, or wands?
That's it. No more American Idol pipe dreams.
I am going on Nanny 911.

Please advise.

Daily Log.

Yesterday was St. Patty's Day.
I went to the park with my friend Robyn and then we ate at McDonalds.
I didn't wear green. And either did Chloe. I got pinched once.
But I did put broccili in my tuna casserole.
And that was good. But it was Broccoli "cuts" not the trees, so that could have been improved.
And then I watched American Idol.
I heart Anoop.
But not Adam. I will not be joining that band wagon.
But it doesn't matter. I don't vote. But my mental vote means something.
The end.

Today I went to "Jump and Shout" with my friend Charlotte.
And Chelsey.
And then Bass Pro shop.
It was nice.
I am tired.
And then I got 2 apple pies at McDonalds.
And dipped it in Chelsey's ice cream cone.
It was delicious.
And tonight I am going to see who gets voted off.
I wish it were Adam.
But it won't be.
The End.

A Day in the life of a Navy Seal.

Yesterday was a good day. For one, it started out with a great hair day (see previous post). Then we had a swell time at The Navy Seal Challenge over at ASU.
Don and I have been TRYING to get into better shape.
Don heard about this Navy Seal Challenge and thought it would be a great kick in the pants to get to the gym.
He said I should do it too.
I wish I had. I didn't because I thought there would be a lot of people watching me make a fool of myself, being that a couple of the events, um, I am infantile at best. But like I said, I should have done it. Throw pride to the wind!

So the first event was swimming.

We make excellent spectators. "Um, can you tell me where the free water bottles are?"

Then there were the sit ups.

I could have looked some-what normal doing these...maybe I could be a Navy Seal, I thought.

And we were treated to a skydiving show by the Navy Seal Leap Frogs. Fancy.

I thought, I could not be a Navy Seal.

Then there were the push ups.

And I thought, you know, maybe the Navy Seals isn't my cup of tea.

Then there were the pull ups. If I was kidnapped and told that they would let me live and release me if I could do one, just one pull up...well...you know the ending to that story.

And lastly, there was running. Which you will simply have to mentally envision because I have no picture. But you all know what people look like running, right?

Anyway. Don got himself a t-shirt. And we both got our first sunburns of the season. And I got to see some real life Navy Seals, up close and personal. And with maybe just a little more training, Don and I will be able to try out next year.

After my stint on American Idol.

Warning: A story only a mother might love.

Chloe has a shoe fetish.

What can I say, she takes after her mother.

When she arrives at a new destination she goes straight to any vacant shoes, completely bypassing any shiny or shimmering toys.

She seems to be rather picky about her shoes. Picky meaning, the ones I pick out and love, she does not. Perhaps she has not learned my personal motto: "Fashion over comfort" (although this motto decreases significantly in importance every day of my life. ie I gave up tight pants a long, long time ago. And I have almost given up zippers and buttons completely).

Anyway. MY favorites are Chloe's black shoes with the massive bows, and her cupcake sandals. Chloe's favorites are her flashing flip flops 5 sizes too big and 2 inches too tall, which by the way, were free. It makes me very sad that her above mentioned/church appropriate shoes are in fact never worn to church, nor anywhere else. Instead the flashing flip flops go with everything. What a tragedy. A good outfit ruined by bad shoes. What a waste of money.

The other day I found a grocery sack by the front door with one cupcake sandal in it. I thought it was a bit strange but didn't think too much about it. Usually I put her dirty diapers in the baggies and leave those by the door, as to remind me to dispose of their smelliness. When I found the shoe instead, I thought, oh she likes playing with the bags.

But today I found both of the cupcake sandals in a bag right by the front door.

And I think Chloe might be trying to tell me something.

She's crazy. Those cupcake sandles are uber fabulous.

sigh.

And so, the battle of wills begins.

A Dang good hair day.

So today I woke up, looked in the mirror and said to myself, "Melissa. This would be an excellent day if it were 1975."

Don't you concur?

Nesting.

I don't know why. But I am in nesting mode. Which doesn't really make sense. Because there is no baby in my tum tum. Perhaps it is a sign that there needs to be one. So my inner decorator comes out because my inner pregnant woman DOES NOT want to. Did that make sense?
Or maybe that is all psycho babble and really, I just like to decorate.
I would like to repaint my kitchen.
And I would like to re-do my bedroom.
And I would like a new shower curtain.
I don't know why I feel this need to just change everything around here!
Yesterday I tried to rearrange Chloe's room but realized that yes, the furniture was in the only possible working position. But on a great sidenote, I found Chelsey's "Toot Toot" Wiggle's c.d. stashed behind a dresser. One guess who put it there. And when I moved a mattress I found 3 bottles from who knows how long ago. Hot dog!
Unfortunately I am still missing a heart locket, cell phone, camera, and nativity set. May they all rest in peace wherever they are.
I know for certain Chloe took off with the heart locket because I saw her. But I have no idea where she stashed it. Needle in a haystack. Let it go Melissa...let it go. She hid my honeymoon bracelet once which made me really sad, but then one day I found it. And that made me really happy. So I have hope for the other items.
Chelsey will be with me for most of the week. I took her to the gym today. She is a good work out partner. Chloe loves her too. Chloe seems to find great pleasure in tormenting her. And it really is quite amusing because Chloe loves it and Chelsey is fit to be tied, "CHLOE!! I don't like that. Chloe, get off of me. Chloe!!AAAAAAA!!" But it brings joy to my heart to see little Chloe nestled up to Chelsey on the couch in her moments of sweetness. Aren't little kids great? They love everyone and never judge. I hope she will always treat her Aunt Chelsey like a queen.
Perhaps I need a nap. I am feeling sentimental all of a sudden. I told you...nesting! Weird.

Dressing 101.

Today Chloe attempted to dress herself. She is not quite there. She took off her diaper, put on a onesie and then stuck both legs through the leg holes of one of her many fancy diaper covers.
It looks like I am going to have to sit down and watch "What Not to Wear" with her and teach her about how to properly put patterns together.

In other news Chelsey will be with me almost the whole week so I am sure I will have plenty of stories to tell.

Next step: Unicycle.

You guessed it...

Today's chelsey story comes from the living room of my dad's house.
I am kind of into American Idol...so what. There are worse shows out there.
I have a secret dream to be on the show. So I was watching the show at my dad's house.
Anyway Simon made some comment to one contestant...."Good, but a little copy cat."
As Chelsey walks away, under her breath she says, "They're all copy cats. That's why they call the show American Idol."

She is really smart, don't you think? And funny too.

Monday, Monday.

So today is Monday. It is supposed to be 90 degrees today. Which depending on your personal living location, that could be something to be envious of, or one could be glad they don't live here.

Today I have a to do list. And it includes folding laundry. My not- so- dirty little secret (get it, the clothes are clean??) I know, I should take these jokes on the road.

This weekend we celebrated some birthdays in Don's family. 2 brothers and his mom. His brother turned 40 and his mom turned 70. And his other brother turned 30 something.

Chloe showed off her splits.

And since Don has to always be the center of attention, he showed off his flexibility too.

And Chloe showed everyone all the good manners we work on everyday. "Okay Chloe. Now try and remember. It is a sign of gratitude and friendliness to pick your nose in front of others."

I brought Chelsey along and she had the time of her life. That girl can eat. It was like watching her at an all you can eat buffet for 2 hours. I saw her down 2 donuts. Then she helped herself to a massive piece of cake.

Grandkids...

45 minutes later, Chelsey was still working on that piece of cake.

She also found a toy telephone that talked to her and she was seen walking around saying, "Hello? Hello?....Why do you keep hanging up on me? Hello???!!!"

And as usual, Chloe found all the vacant shoes, and tried them on for size.