28 is Gr8.

My birthday was a smash. Thanks for all the Birthday wishes. I felt like Paris Hilton.



In reverse order, since I am too lazy to rearrange my pictures....

Don took me to PF Changs.

Food Fantasy: Fulfilled.

Bonus: Waiter Looked looked like my American Idol, Danny Gokey.

Story: I told Don to ask if they give free desserts for birthdays.

He said he would find out in a round about way.

He asked the waiter, "Do you sing for birthdays?"

Waiter said, "No."

While Don was away washing his hands, I asked the waiter, "Do you do anything for birthdays?"

Waiter says, "yes. You get a free dessert."

Moral of the story: Sometimes being tactful doesn't work. Don't be shy, ask about the free food.



Before PF Changs, Don took me shopping. Other birthday fantasy: fulfilled.


Dad watched Chloe while I went out to lunch with my friend Charlotte.



She was thoroughly pooped.



Chelsey gave me this necklace.
It says
sisters-love-loyalty-friends

I said, "Chelsey thank you so much! Did you pick this out?"

She said: "No...Dad did."

She's very sentimental.






After lunch I went to the furniture store and picked up my new chair.

Not really.



My friend Charlotte that took me out to lunch.

We had Mexican food.

She made me wear a birthday ribbon and a flashing pin.

I guess it didn't really do it's intended job because we had to ask if they did anything for birthdays.

The waitress said, "Oh it's your birthday."

Really??

Moral of the story: Doing tacky things doesn't get you free food either.

Blame it on the economy.

I had an excellent day. I haven't eaten that much in a long time. Like since last week.
Thanks to all my friends and family for making me feel like a star. I am a lucky old woman!

Bump it Up Ladies!

I am pretty sure this had to have been invented in Utah.
Now Erin, you can achieve that Bon Losse look anytime!

Random. Seriously, really random.

Hello. It is Sunday and I am a little bored. But not stressed, so that is good. I had a talk in church today that was causing my nerves to go haywire. So I am enjoying relaxing. And my birthday is tomorrow. I am trying to think of something extra spectacular, other than going to Disneyland, that I could do. Or...maybe someone wants to do something a little crazy, and we could take a spontaneous trip to D-Land. No husbands! Anyone? Anyone?

I found some interesting pop culture trivia on the internet today.
I had no idea these were urban myths. I firmly believed them to be fact. ( Did you know Steve Martin is Mormon? I just found that out). I am actually relieved. I won't feel creepy about watching "Wizard Of Oz" anymore.





Okay I probably will. I used to hide whenever I heard the wind chimes in my backyard because I thought a tornado ensued. Also, every cloud looked like a funnel cloud. My mom tried to convince me that tornadoes don't happen in Mesa, AZ. I didn't believe her. Mom's lie sometimes. You know we do. "I'll give you some candy if you get in the car!" You know stuff like that.
Anyway, admit it, "The Wizard Of Oz" is a little creepy. Its creepy level is up there with the animated version of "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe," "Alice in Wonderland", and that one with Jodie Foster and some old lady that lived in the woods. Old school stuff. Anyone know what I am talking about? Shiver.

What movies creeped you out as a kid?

And for anyone that might care:

Movie: The Wizard of Oz
Claim: A lovelorn munchkin's suicide was captured on film.

Verdict: FALSE
There are few movies out there that have more urban legends connected to it than "The Wizard of Oz." And while some are partially true -- it does actually synch up in some freakish ways with Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" (start your CD when the MGM lion roars for the third time) -- others, like the dead munchkin tale, are not.
The scene in question is when Dorothy and Scarecrow discover the Tin Man. It ends with all three dancing off into the distance along the yellow-brick road as the camera cranes up. If you watch closely, you can see some kind of odd motion behind a tree at the center of the screen. Some have it that it's a hiding stage hand who didn't hear the director shout "action" until it was too late. More active imaginations have it that it's a suicidal actor who played a munchkin kicking a ladder out from under him.
Leaving aside the absurdity that footage of a suicide would make it past the editors who labor over every frame of a movie before it's released, the truth is that movement the background is actually a stork or a crane. In order to help add some atmosphere to the indoor set, a number of exotic birds were lent to the production by the L.A. Zoo and were allowed to roam free. That strange flutter is one crane stretching its wing at an inopportune moment.

Ummmm, P.S.
A large bird wandering around on set?...also very creepy. Huge birds are creepy. Like ostriches. And geese. blugh. I freak out when there are flocks of pigeons by the fake lakes around here. They are just gross. And they fly way too close to my head. No wonder Alfred Hitchcock made a horror film about them.

Also, myth that people died in the chariot race during filiming of "Ben Hur."
False.

You may all now rest easy.

Also, once again, and no one ever takes me up on these offers, Chloe is for sale today. 5 dollars.
I need a nap. And she insists on being my siamese twin.

The White Witch was seriously spooky.

What children's movies traumatized you for life?

Discuss.

Dear Don, please don't kill me.

Last night we had plans to celebrate our anniversary. I was excited. I had envisioned a nice Mexican restaurant with dimmed lights, Mariachi music, and gorging myself on delectable chips and salsa.

I thought Don and I were on the same wave length. And I think we were but somewhere it all went awry.

I think it began with, "How do you feel about eating somewhere along the lightrail?"

I said "fine" and I meant it. And I know Don meant no ill will towards my food fantasy. I am very fickle at times when it comes to food. I have it perfectly envisioned in my mind's eye and sometimes I fail to communicate. Like the time on our Honeymoon in Mexico and I envisioned a classy, cold sandwich joint. In Mexico. I think we spent half the day looking for one. And when I ate the sandwich I realized I should have gone with the street tacos, available on every corner. Again...what was I thinking??? I am definitely more into ambiance than Don. And perhaps sometimes I don't give good food a chance because I am sidetracked by the ambiance factor. I could give several examples, but I will spare you that tangent for another day.

So back to my original point. Don told me about a great sushi place that also served the regular greasy and delicious chinese fare. He said he had eaten lunch there regularly and it was a happening joint. By this time I was starving and so I went against my better judgement on buffets. I do have an exception for buffets though-Chinese food. How do you mess up fried foods? You would think impossible, right?

Wrong.

Note to self: Do not go against better judgement. Especially when it comes to buffets. It is rare that a buffet engages both quantity and quality. Yes, even when it comes to chinese food.

Our first clue should have been the sign that said cash only. When we realized we were short about 7 dollars and were about to walk away, the "hostess" said, "that's okay, follow me." Too bad we weren't short 20 dollars. They still would have been making a hefty profit off of us.

I think my favorite part of the "buffet" was the dessert section. I had a hard time choosing between canned pears or the melted jello and chopped up brown bananas, mellowing underneath the heat lamp. Yum.

Ladies and gentleman, I bring you the stalest piece of cake in the whole entire world.

So my food fantasy did not exactly come true.

But that's okay. My birthday is in a few days and we will get to try again. And this time we will get it right. Because I am choosing.

Don, I love you. Even if you made me go to a bad buffet with bad decorations and painted geese.

You didn't know the fried rice would be 8 hours old and the crispy General Tsao chicken would be a soggy excuse for an entree.

Okay, okay. He didn't "make" me go. It was a joint decision. But sometimes I like to blame Don because it makes me feel better.

I'm working on that.

The best anniversary gift is the gift I get every day.

Thanks Don.

You and Chloe are my happy place.

Tickling your funny bone.

I've been having one of those weeks. And I needed a good laugh. Maybe you could use one too.

Happy Anniversary

Dear Don,

Thanks for marrying me 4 years ago. It's been finger lickin' good hasn't it?

Your Wife,

Meliss

Chelsey hearts The Wiggles.

Chelsey is to the Wiggles,

As these people were to the Beatles.

In case you don't know, the Wiggles are an Australian Band that caters to preschoolers. Chelsey happens to be their #1 fan. Of all time. In the whole wide universe. You get the idea. She knows all their songs, owns all their cd's, dvds, and paraphernalia. She actually owns double of many things since people give her Wiggles themed gifts, and since she already owns everything....

Well today she was rather distraught (again) over the fact that the lead singer had to quit the band because he has "orhthostatic intolerance." Which is not a funny disease at all, not that any disease is funny in the first place, but when Chelsey says it, I laugh. Because she knows as much about it as any doctor. Out of her devotion to the band.

So we looked up more information on him and I told Chelsey she should write him a letter.

So she did:

"Dear Greg,

You are the greatest singer in the universe. I am glad you're feeling better. The songs you wrote are really, really good. You have brought lots of happiness and joy and you taught me that canaries were yellow and also, you taught a lot of fun dances. You have also taught me how to boot scoot. I love you Greg, take care.

From,

Chelsey Mott

p.s. I love your smile."

She plans on including a picture as well. I offered to take one of her over here but she said no. She wants to send a picture of herself with her house in the background.

I wonder if I should include on explanation to Greg. But then maybe he has lots of female fans who love his smile. In a non-creepy,non- stalkerish sort of way.

A Milky Situation

I've run into a problem. I am out of milk. Which means Chloe going to the fridge every 5 minutes and saying something that only she understands. Except I am able to get the basic idea because she points to the fridge and says "hhmfgktodofg...ghrpodjwbdo."
There are 2 milk-aholics in this house. And I am not one of them. They both drink it like it is going out of style. I can't keep up. A gallon is gone in 3 days.

This morning Chloe did her usually routine, dragging me to the fridge. I had to explain we were out and I showed her. But I forgot there was a half gallon of buttermilk in the fridge. How do you explain that to a 2 year old. It looks like milk, it sort of smells like sour milk, but it's really not milk. Well it is, but I ain't drinkin' it. She insisted though and I thought, well 1. Maybe she won't be able to tell the difference (which I highly doubted since we are all food conosuires over here) or 2. she will figure it out and stop bugging me for it.

So I poured her a bottle. (no judging allowed) She took a couple sips.
And then, she promptly took the lid off her bottle, and dumped it down the sink.

Guess she figured it out.

Easter Extravaganza

I love April. I love Easter. April is my favorite month. Besides December. This weekend Chelsey celebrated her 21st Birthday. She had a (root) beer to celebrate at Cracker Barrel. And I made her a fabulous German Chocolate cake which doesn't look all that appetizing in the pictures does it. Luckily there has been ample leftovers for me to get up in the middle of the night to eat. Seriously. And I wonder why my pants are really tight again. The day before I took her to see Hannah Montana with a bunch of other kids and my sister-in-laws. She loved it. And I am ashamed to admit...so did I.

The day after Chelsey's birthday was Easter. I had my family over for some snacks and a trial egg run for Chloe. We were prepping her for the cousin egg hunt where she would be competing with the best and the brightest.

Chelsey had a little accident in this chair when Chloe got a little too close and Chelsy swung right into her. Just imagine little Chloe right about the spot Chelsey's feet are.

After some tears, Chloe soldiered on and got back to the task at hand.

Like I said, when it came to the real deal, she was prepared for the competition.

We are starting early and teaching Chloe that, winning is everything.

We are great parents.

Have I mentioned, Chloe really likes babies.

A typical cousin fight.

We had an eggsellent day.

Chloe is taking a class on makeup in film over at the community college.

This week they studied "Braveheart" and this was her homework.

I think she did a nice job.

A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, Melissa met a beautiful, tall, lean girl named Robyn. Melissa wanted to look like her, so she and Robyn became running partners. Melissa did not lengthen 5 inches, but with the prodding of Robyn was able to eventually run a continuous 6 miles. (sorry for the bragging).

Then one fateful day Robyn and her family decided to leave the desert and head up north. Melissa and Don were very sad. Melissa didn't even care anymore that Robyn thought Don was Palestinian.

Then, one beautiful conference weekend,

Don and Melissa decided to pay them a visit.

Despite freezing her tail off, Melissa had a fantastic time. And Melissa has made a new goal to not complain about being hot anymore.

All was well, until Robyn's husband decided he might have feelings for Melissa's husband.

Melissa saved the day though with her girlish charms and convinced Don that they looked better together.

And the kids hoorayed Melissa for saving the day.

And Chloe was then free to get back to caring for her baby

Robyn taught Melissa many things. Like what mothers do with children when the temperature falls below 70 degrees. Robyn also taught Melissa that you don't have to spend money on silly things like this, you just need to be creative.

Finally, Don and Melissa returned home to their desert dwelling place and the feeling returned back to her toes and fingers. Melissa's pants are now even tighter after all the delicious food Robyn and Paul fed them. But eating the most delicious hamburger on the planet was well worth it.

A big thanks to Robyn and Paul. We miss you!

The End.

P.S. the last picture has nothing to do with anything. I just took it because this is what Chloe drew on my coffee table. Totally by accident I am sure...but doesn't it look like a whale! It is a little smudged because she got a little excited when she realized I was taking a picture of it. Too bad it is not the Virgin Mary.

Speaking of Chloe, where is she?? It is Past 9 AM and I have heard not a peep. I better go check...

Disneyland here I come!

So I love the month of April. It is full of special days.

*Easter

*Both Sister's Birthdays (Chelsey and I are going to go see the Hannah Montana Movie for her birthday. I will try not to groan through the whole movie. Her voice really makes my skin feel all itchy)

*My birthday.

*My Anniversary

me. me. me.

I. I. I.

Yikes!

Bikes! (courtesy of "Never Been Kissed." Not like I have ever watched that movie and swooned over the male teacher that likes a girl in high school, well at least that's what he thinks. Creepy! In real life he would make the 6 o'clock news and spend a couple nights in jail.)

Well what is my point other then to talk about myself and to say I expect a "Happy Birthday" on April 27th. Just a small comment on my blog will suffice.

Something like this: ( I have heard you need to tell people exactly what you expect...or there is always that advice about expecting nothing and just being happy...nah.)

option a: "Happy Birthday Melissa, the coolest and most beautiful friend I have."

option b: "your gift is in the mail, so this happy birthday will just have to suffice for now."

option c: "Did you ever know that you're my hero, you're everything I would like to be. I can fly higher than an eagle. But you are the wind beneath my wings."

or....

option d: "28??? I seriously thought you were turning 21!"

Anyway, back to my main point. Which was to say I want to go to Disneyland for my birthday. Did you know it is free on your birthday? Which is unfortunate that you have to go ON your birthday. Otherwise we could all get free passes and just meet up there and all go for free. I guess the Smart people at Disney figured that out and that is why you can only go ON your birthday. Those pesky Imagineers....

Well does anyone want to go? Seriously. I know most of the girls I know are with child and I hear roller coasters are not recommended in such a state...but c'mon you could come and watch Chloe for me while I ride! Happy Birthday Melissa!

Wow. I hope nobody takes this post too seriously. Except for this part:

Does anybody have free time and money to blow on a day trip to Disneyland?

Me neither, but I thought I would ask anyway.

You know, just let me know.

April Fools!!

So today is April Fools Day. And people on Facebook are deceiving all their friends. And I feel a little sorry for the friends who respond in sincerity to their status update.
April Fools is a funny day isn't it? Well I for one never lie. Ever.

Here are some April Fools jokes that are not so funny:
1. Hey Honey we are going to Disneyland! April Fools!
2. I want a divorce. April Fools!
3. You look really skinny....April Fools!
4. The baby is not yours. April Fools!
5. I don't like you. April Fools!
6. Your grandmother died. April Fools!
7. Hey, let's go out for dinner tonight! April Fools!
8. Those skinny jeans look really great on you...April Fools!
9. I had a miscarriage. April Fools!
10. Your house smells really good! April Fools!
11. Will you marry me? April Fools!
12. I like you better with short hair. April Fools!
13. your house is on fire. April Fools!

That's all I can think of. I am thinking April Fools day doesn't bring out the best in people.