We took Chloe to a Halloween party last night. I think the lack of sleep is turning her into a grumpy, grumpy child. Either that, or we are bad parents. I chose lack of sleep.

Don said to me, "Let's just leave her here. Someone will take her."

I said, "Ya, she's cute. Someone will probably want her."

And he said, "Ya. Go put her wings back on. She'll have a better chance."

Upon further thought, we decided to take her home with us.
And she slept in her crib.


It is going to be a much better day.

Bad Habits

It all started with the bed bugs.

Chloe's room was quarantined and she got used to me laying by her to get her to sleep.
Truth be told, I liked laying down by her too.

But as of recently I have realized it is disrupting my sleep quality. Now she has to have me sleeping by her ALL the time. And by the morning there is usually an extra person in our bed. And some how the smallest body takes up 70 percent of the bed. Plus I am waking up with continual backaches as my body is in different contortions to adjust to the 2 year old.

So last night I said, no more. Time to get everyone sleeping in their assigned beds.

Of course it did not go over so well with one member of the household. (Don was not happy he was told he had to move to another bed. just kidding....)

As Don and I were lying in bed, we hear the pitter patter of little feet and then a wiggling of our doorknob. And then-a lot of wailing. We stayed strong. After a few minutes we heard the wailing get quieter and quieter.

And then...we hear the tv.
We laughed.

And after a few minutes Don went to go see what was up. There he found Chloe laying on the couch watching the food network.

And now I realize I have two habits to break. Beds and TV.

But at least she was watching the food network. Now that's a girl after my own heart.

Baby Einstein=Baby Dummy

The other day Don said to me as we were watching a 20 dollar DVD of sock puppets and a banjo playing "Old Macdonald":

"Let's never buy a Baby Einstein video again."

I agreed.

And then...

The next day I read on article about a Baby Einstein recall. Coincidence? I think not. It is close to Halloween after all.

Apparently you are not supposed to put kids in front of the tv before the age of 2. It can affect their attention span. Well gee. I thought the tv was an excellent teacher. Is it bad to put them in front of it all day?

Apparently Baby Einstein is entirely to blame for the high rate of ADD among children these days. Where's the torches!

Okay, okay. So I don't know about all this. But I do know the DVD is kinda lame and Chloe is indifferent to it and you know, I could use a check in the mail.

If you want to return yours, go here. It gives you all the info you need on how to do it. When you get there, click on the bottom option, the "upgrade" option.

You are welcome.

Buy a new throw pillow or something.

Or some milk. It is a recession and all.

Mottsy's is getting her groove back. My "job" as a maid and cook is inspiring me to dust off the old knives. (For cooking purposes by the way, in case you were scared someone's life was in danger. The only one's life who is in danger is whoever is to blame for the lack of Glee episodes the next two weeks).

We woke up this morning to a drastic temperature drop.
I was excited.
I have been pretty good about not shopping. It was easy too bypassing all the Fall sweaters and such being that it was still 90+ degrees outside.

But when I felt the nip in the air I gleefully
informed Don that Miss Chloe was in need of some new duds for the "winter" months.

I asked Chloe if she wanted to go get some new clothes and she told me, "Ya Mom! I do!"
Brought a tear to my eye.

Unfortunately the joy was short lived as I realized we have entirely different ideas of how a 2 and a half year old should dress. She gravitated towards anything with Dora, princesses, or sparkles. And I would like to dress her like a 30 year old Banana Republic model. And I think Don would like to dress her like a PE teacher. She needs to get with the program. I mean, why won't she humor my fantasy of her looking like the children in the Children's Pottery Barn Catalog?

The instant we got to Target she stripped down and started trying on the clothes. Which was rather inappropriate as she was going commando (long unimportant aspect to the story).

Anyway. I went telling myself over and over again "cheap play clothes." And well, it is like taking an alcoholic into a liquor store. I found the $4 stretch pants and t-shirts but my heart kept pulling me over to the flowered dresses and embellished sweaters.

I think Don better go shopping next time.
You can see which side wins when I go.

(A sidenote for records sake, Chloe told me yesterday at the car wash, "Wow-thas awesome!")

Chloe decided she wanted to build a house today. Or maybe it was Don. I'm not exactly sure.

I remarked to Don, "Isn't it funny how much kids like these types of things?"

To which he said, "So do adults. They just make them bigger."

True.

It was very comfortable. And Don built it to withstand "wind of 2 mph."I believe the expression is:

"The Wise Man built his house out of foam."

Retro

So last week I went through my Dad's cupboards. I am helping him organize and purge of some things. (I love throwing stuff away). I found some great stuff that I couldn't just toss. It made me remember how great the 80's and 90's were.For example, look at this snazzy Pepsi hat and radio ear phones.

And I found this undeveloped film. Did you have those mini cameras? I think we got them from Burger King. I wonder if this film can still be developed.... I also found my Teddy Ruxpin Care and Instruction Pamphlet. Now if only I could find my Teddy Ruxpin. That was an awesome toy. He was a cassette loving, talking bear who told me stories filled with interest and intrigue. But as I recall he made my Mom mad because he was always breaking. But I am glad we held onto the instruction pamphlet. Quite useful.

...And a leash that says "My name is Nermal." What did happen to Nermal? Maybe he wondered off without his leash.

Fancy!

Sorry Liz about the light on your face. There was an alien next to me when I was taking this picture. He was pointing his fancy alien lazer gun to blow you up. I told him he wasn't very nice and to go away. He did.

I was very happy Tuesday. I was almost caught up on my truck loads of laundry. I had all the beds made with new sheets too. Ask Don. This never happens. The elements of the universe were all combining in my favor.

And then a series of unfortunate events befell the Mortensen household.

7:30 PM Chloe falls asleep in the car. Placed in twin bed for the night.
8:00 Melissa watches Glee (hooray) and eats a McDonalds apple pie.
9:00 Chloe wakes up mad.
9:10 Chloe gets put in queen size guest bed. Melissa lays next to her to calm her down and get her back to sleep. Success.
10:30 Chloe wakes up crying. Chloe has peed through the entire bed.
Chloe gets new pajamas and is moved back to twin bed.
10:45 Melissa lays down with Chloe again, once again to calm her down. She gets a bottle of juice (don't judge). And falls quickly asleep.
11:00 Chloe wakes up wailing again. The bottle top has fallen off the bottle and orange juice is now spilled over Chloe and twin bed. New pajamas. And now the only bed left is Mom and Dad's bed. Not comfortable, but we are finally all asleep.
2:30 AM Chloe wakes up crying again. Cannot calm her down. We go sit on the couch and watch the Sing-A-Long Disney princesses, thinking she would be fast to sleep after "A Whole New World."
Nope. Chloe is wide awake.
3:00 I give up and take her back to the queen bed which is now sort of dry. (I am washing the sheets today lest any of you think I am gross AND I did try to spot clean it right away).
6:00 Melissa finally moves back to her bed and Chloe stays in the guest bed.
7:00 Chloe comes crying into Melissa's room.

Good Morning.

Nap time will be coming early today. And Chloe better be ready to say hello to her crib. At least that is only one small sheet to wash.

And I will spend my day doing laundry. Again.

You want to know what I have in my head all day because of Chloe's Disney Sing-A-Long DVD??

Sigh.

And the Pop version of "Bibbity Boppity Boo."




I break out in annoying song frequently throughout the day.

Julia Child

Don't ask me why I or how I found this video but I think it is retro awesome.

My new favorite picture.

PS how weird is that balloon family??

Picnicing

Well it has been a gorgeous autumn weekend here in Arizona. 102 degrees to be exact. Yes. That would be a record. (um, excuse me, where do I file a formal complaint with the weather police?)

And really, what better way to celebrate such fantastic weather than to picnic! Twice!

The first one was an Alumni picnic for Don's Master's of Real Estate Program.

I neglected to take any pictures of the actual picnic. I was too hot to think about anything other than being really hot.

I did have a delicious hamburger and 2 gallons of water though.
I believe Chloe drank about 6 Capri Suns, and ingested a tootsie roll pop and a chocolate chip cookie. Oh and some Doritos.

Little Chloe gave the playground her best shot. I think this is the thing I love about little kids the most. They don't let inclements in weather get in the way of their fun. They've got playing to do.

She gave those plastic cars sitting in a pile of sand with no shade for miles, an honest try.
She rode that flaming slide.
I watched from the ramada. 100 feet away.

The heat eventually took its toll on Chloe. She took her dress off and walked around white trash style. At one point we found her underneath a picnic table sitting in a puddle of water. At this point we figured heat stroke was setting in and we better take her home.

All in all we had a fabulous time. We really enjoy everyone who was and is in the program. Just a fun group of people.

We returned to the park a few hours later to retrieve Chloe's bike and helmet. We realized we forgot it as we were getting ready to go to the next picnic. (the typical D&M Mortensen family thing to do) Luckily it was still there! Hooray!

Then we headed over to our other picnic. Our church chili cook off. Which we were super stoked about. I mean, can you think of anything you would rather do on a hot day besides eat spicy chili and cornbread?! Me neither!

Luckily by the time we got there it was quite pleasant. It was by a lake. We tried to feed the ducks but they were not interested. Which was odd. I have never seen a group of ducks turn down a crumb. "No bread for you!!!"


So we had a good time. Even though I spent the majority of the time at the playground. But it was cool because I talked to a nice person. And one nice person is just as great as talking to 30 nice people.

I am considering sending this picture in for the Gap Child Modeling contest.

Well we enjoyed the summer picnics. And now please Mr. Weather Man. Send us some Fall.

So I have been thinking. And I want everyone to feel invited to my idea if they are interested (although sorry if you live out of town) So here it is.

I would like to start a dinner (or lunch) "club." As in once a month we go out to eat together. I figure I have to plan ahead and make it happen...or it will never happen. I have been wanting to do this for awhile. Nothing helps me relax and rejuvenate more than an evening out with friends and good food.

Let me know if you are interested.

Reported Conversation.

So my dad took Chelsey to some shin dig with food and some lady asked Chelsey if she was a vegetarian.

To which Chelsey replied, "Yes. And I eat meat too."

Apparantly the lady was taken by surprise and walked awkwardly away.

That's probably my favorite part of the story.

So like mother like daughter? What do you think?

Well I dare say I am proud of myself. It has been a whole 4 days since I have posted. And I have been up to a lot of good things. Like:

*playing Pac Man on my cell phone (Don still triples my score. Those darn ghosts.)

*watching "World's Strictest Parents" on the CMT channel. (So I got hooked cause they had a Mormon family on there and the rebel children thought they were nuts for the first half of the show)

*went to "Ranch Market" with some friends. The "Ranch Market" deserves a post in and of itself. It is a huge Mexican grocery store with a food counter full of delectable Mexican food. My favorite? The cream and strawberries. DIVINE. We had their food at our wedding and I tried desperately all night to get myself some strawberries and cream but never quite made it to the table. The plight of the bride...always a food spectator...never a food enjoyer. note to self: blog about the Ranch Market. Include pictures of ourselves eating because people will think we are very ethnic and fun.

*multiple bike rides around the block with Chloe. In which she usually hurts herself and we have to come home early and do medical surgery or she acts like she just might die. I think Don missed his calling in life. He should have been a surgeon. He is very meticulous in patching things up on the human body. Maybe because he is an Eagle Scout.

*And lastly...cleaning. Did I tell you I got myself a part time job? It's true. I realized I could be doing a little more around here to pull my load. And plus, I need money so I don't feel guilty when I buy my throw pillows. I got myself a job as a cook/maid/nanny. Oh wait. That is already what I was doing. But now, I am doing it for someone else. And they are paying me with something other than a heart full of love (on a good day).

So that makes me excited. Except when I find very strange coral reef type looking things in the refrigerator and then I say to myself- "Is this what I was born to do?" To protect the names of the innocent that is all I shall say.

Well good day all.

Melissa signing out.

Oh one last thing. I joined a choir again so my Glee Wednesdays are kind of messed up. But I figured it would be rather pathetic to not cultivate my "talents" because I had to sit in front of the boob tube. (uh, that's what my mom called it, but when I write it out, it looks rather inappropriate).

Well Don is out on a scout campout and I can't sleep. Again. I feel so vulnerable here alone. I am such a wimp!

My friend and I were talking about how ridiculous Glamor Shots were and how everyone had them done circa 1994.

So this is what I am doing. I tag you all to post your ridiculous glamor shot.

Here I am. 13 going on 45.

PS can I tell you something funny? I noticed that I am at the top of a lot of people's lists on their side bars of blog links. I thought, wow, I must be everyone's favorite because I am always at the top.

And then it dawned on me I am at the top because I am the one posting the most often.

And now, well, I feel sort of pathetic.

Maybe I need to space these blogs out.

Then I won't look quite so desperate.

That's all.

Wishing and Hoping and Thinking and Praying

On my mid-morning jog, I ran past a Bridal Shop.
And it made me think. Man. It would be fun to get married again.
Not to a different person. Just the wedding dress/hair/party part. Without all the work and expense of course.
I want an occasion to wear a fancy dress and have my hair done.
These sorts of things don't happen very often in my world right now.
Perhaps I could talk Don into getting involved with Politics.
There's lots of fancy shmancy shin digs with that gig.
I could be a Politician's wife.
Don is honest and faithful; just like all the other Politicians out there. So he would fit right in. He even has a nice full head of hair which I think would bode well with the voting public.

Well it is either this or
I suppose I could talk Don into a vow renewal ceremony. You know, like Jon and Kate plus 8.
We all know how well that turned out.
On second thought...
Politics it is.

My flowers rocked.
Even if you can't tell because these are pictures of pictures. I wish my wedding album was digital.

And my dress was cool.

He wasn't so bad either.

But just for fun, if I were to do it again, I would probably chose something like this.

Good heavens! I just clicked on that link and that is NOT the dress I would chose.

#3981 is. That is probably a lot more effort than you are willing to go to to see what my make believe wedding dress is. Anyway.

If I wasn't Mormon. But I am. And I am glad.

Chelsey:

"Sometimes I care about cats. But only the ones that stand on 2 feet. Not 4."

???

Green Rocks

This morning Chloe made me take her for a bike ride. And since it was cloudy and sort of damp I didn't put up too much of a fuss about going.

Here in AZ there is a weird phenomenon know as green rock grass. Some people actually paint their rocks green to make it look like they have a green lawn.

I am not sure who they think they are fooling because painted green rocks only looks like grass from an airplane.

And you certainly don't want to lay in it or pretend to let your feet bask in nature's very own version of high quality carpet. It would just be very uncomfortable.

Chloe has never seen this monstrosity before and was perplexed when she rode past it.

"Whas dat?"

"Green Rocks."

"Ewwwwwww, das yucky."


Yes. Yes it is.
My kid's got class.

Santa Baby

Dear Don, These are the pillows I want for Christmas. Go to Pier 1 Imports in Tempe Marketplace. You know of my love for throw pillows. The other ones have gotten flat from all the throwing (at you) I have done. Yours Truly, Melissa

(in all colors please)

Putting Away for Another Day

Well it is official. I am officially moving Chloe's baby clothes OUT. Okay, well in the garage. I am not that heartless to throw them out on the street without concern for their future survival. I have provided them a nice, bug proof home until the day comes that they will serve a useful purpose again. (by the way...isn't it ridiculous how many clothes a newborn baby has?)Chloe caught me red handed. She saw all them packed away and said, "wooooow." And then proceeded to get a miniature dress and shoes out. Thus the reason they are all going in the garage. But. I feel a little guilty. I mean she really likes trying on these clothes. And I have no idea why. Is that mean of me to take away her life's greatest joy?
Plus it provides me some entertainment during the day. I'll admit. Seeing her in these clothes tickles me pink. But not when I have to clean her room 10 times a day.

And looking at all the itty bitty clothes brings a little tear to my eye. I wonder, when another body will be filling them out. It takes a year to get one here. Shiver. (When will I "forget" what pregnancy is like?) And there is only a 50 % guarantee it will be the same gender. And what if I never have another little girl?

Well I can see this is way too much over analyzation of baby clothes so I will stop. Now.

Although I would like to say that I am glad I am not a hoarder. I can see the transition of my thoughts, can't you?

Well anyway I watched a show about hoarders and wow. I mean WOW.

I better go get those clothes in the garage. Chloe is already on her 3rd outfit.

Outfit #6. In 10 minutes.

This Weekend

We had a nice weekend here in sunny Arizona. What did we do, you ask? Well. I shall tell you. We went to "Manuels Fine Mexican Food." And it was indeed mighty fine. The usual happened. Chloe did not want to sit still and had to be taken out a few times. And Chelsey got mad and uninvited us all to the Toy Story "Premiere." (Oh wait, did I say "premiere"? In case you didn't know, Toy Story 1 and 2 came out more than 10 years ago. BUT for a limited time you too can see both again FULL PRICE at a theater near you! in 3D!! Oh, but make sure you bring an extra 2 bucks for the glasses).

Don and I left Toy Story early. I was asleep 10 minutes into Toy Story 2 and Don took a restroom break. Meanwhile, I believe Chloe was being chased around the hallways by her patient Grandpa. Thankfully I used my charm to get our money back. Chelsey had a great time though and I think was glad she re-invited us all back to the movie. Although I think I speak for all of us when I say we would not have been offended (or disappointed) if she hadn't.

Us engaging in lively dinner conversation.

Chloe got a balloon which appeased her for about 10 minutes. Unfortunately it disappeared into the dark autumn sky. "My boon! hdysmaooiiioioiodooa In Sky!" -Chloe Jean Mortensen

Well. At least I look good.

We also watched conference, ate some delectable pizza from Oregano's, and I introduced my sister to "North and South."

"I liked it. It was a little Victorian. I liked the ending. You know how much I like kissing scenes." -Liz Mott

My sister was an english major. She knows stuff like "victorian."

I made it through the whole movie and then fell asleep during the kissing scene which is just a crying shame.

Good thing I've watched that scene, oh about a billion times already.

How was your weekend?

whoa. This bow is out of control. Wearing that in public would be like the big elephant in the room was on top of your head.

My Butterfly

Sisters

It's nice having company.
The Mott Sisters reunitued at last.

Hopefully one day Chloe will have some sisters.

A little sister to wear these clothes correctly.