Thanksgiving Reunion Part 2

Well unfortunately we lost the camera the first part of the day and the second part of the day I was too busy to take any pictures. The first part of the day was the highlight of the reunion. Don's relatives from Mexico City host a mexican breakfast every reunion. This time it was at "Arribas." We had the whole restaurant to ourselves, a Mariachi band and whole heck of a lot of awesome food. We ate enchiladas and Hueves Rancheros for breakfast along with some more traditional breakfast foods like eggs, bacon, french toast, and pancakes. And some people even ate fried ice cream. Could the day seriously start out any better. Oh, and they also raffled off tickets to Mexico City. I had a feeling I was going to win. But unfortunately...I was wrong. I never win anything. One time I put like a billion raffle tickets in a jar to win a haircut. I thought I had a pretty good chance because there was only like 5 other tickets in there. You would think a billion chances to 5 would be good odds. But...I lost. I don't think I have ever won anything in my life. Well except an awesome life. So I guess I should stop complaining.

After breakfast everyone went their separate ways. I went shopping and tried to find some cheap clothes. And I decided that my favorite stores are very mean to charge so much for their clothing. Also, that I ate too much.

Then there was an open house at Uncle Rudy's house...

And then finally another dinner and talent show.

I did 2 songs and am working on overcoming my fear of singing solos in public. A Norah Jones song and an oldie, "Love Me Tender." All in all it went okay. I was just proud of myself for getting up there. My legs started shaking and I thought they were going to crumble. Luckily I leaned up against the piano. And I think I figured out why singers often go sing by a piano. They are trying not to pass out. Being nervous about the talent show severely decreased my enjoyment of the food, which was a near tragedy. BBQ sandwiches and cole slaw. But the good news is I thoroughly enjoyed my Texas sheetcake after it was all over. Man Texas Sheetcake deserves a special medal of honor.

******May it hereby be known that Texas Sheetcake is officially the best bake in the universe*****

PS one time when we were driving through Texas on a family vacation, Chelsey later commented to a cousin "Texas SSSSSSSSSSSucks." Maybe you had to be there.
And that is one of my favorite memories from that vacation.

Chloe is really into The Little Mermaid these days. And I am really into this dress that my cousin handed down to me. It has mermaids on it.

Also:

********I hereby declare that The Little Mermaid is the best Disney movie of all time.*****

Thanksgiving Part 1

Well this is the first time the past few days I have had time to breathe. We have had a fabulous Thanksgiving. I am sad it is already over...but now on to Christmas. Don't you wish the holidays were split up a little bit? I could use a holiday in August. Because I don't like August that much. If you have been to Phoenix in August you understand.This year was the Mortensen family reunion. It happens every 3 years and this year the Zonies were in charge. The family is huge. Big families are great. I see the benefit of having lots of kids. Makes reunions fun. Someone snuck in our picture! This is Don's sister Janae.

And her husband!

Chloe found some toys. And the bowls of candy corn. And I am pretty sure that is the only thing she ate for Thanksgiving dinner. And I didn't even care. By the way. But I am not surprised. She finds the sugar bowl at my dad's house and eats sugar literally by the spoonful. I do care about that. That is is just weird, Chloe.
Don had a lot of his relatives come who live in Mexico city. I am so glad I married a Mexican.
There were about 130 people. This was a "smaller" reunion.
All Don's sisters and sister in laws made the food for the event. And we did a pretty fantastic job if I do say so myself, and I do. I am not good at false humility. Another benefit of marrying Don is everyone in the family makes tasty food.

I made 5, yes 5 huge pans of yams. I do not want to eat yams for a very, very long time. Only 2 got eaten at Thanksgiving dinner. Luckily there was another day of feasting so I think they all got disposed of. It was basically a big pie. I love that we can eat pie for dinner and really believe we are eating a vegetable.
Crafts for the kids...

First night of the reunion went off without too much of a hitch!

I lied.

I said I wasn't going to blog for a few days.

But you see I can't help myself.

Today I was driving by myself noticing the beautiful day and I was overcome thinking about all the things I am thankful for.

And so I said to myself, I must blog.

Because I think when you are feeling spurts of gratitude you should write it down for the days you put a "free" sign on your child.

This is probably one of my favorite quotes. President Hinckley often gets misquoted as saying this, but he actually was quoting someone else.

Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed.
The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise.
Life is like an old-time rail journey--delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.- Jenkin Lloyd Jones

So I am thankful this year for (not in order of importance):
Friends. Friends who make me laugh. Friends who pick up my slack. Friends who help me peel 14 pounds of yams. Friends who encourage me to try things that scare me. Friends who comment on my blog. Friends who make this big old world a much smaller and nicer place.

Family. The more I look around the more I realize how lucky I was to have 2 parents. Who loved me. For a mom who made me do things I didn't want to do. Like piano lessons, and dance lessons. And Brownies. And lots of other things that made me highly uncomfortable. But she knew I was shy and I needed some pushing. I was so shy I peed my pants in 1st grade because I was too shy to ask the teacher if I could go to the bathroom. I am grateful she knew what was best for me and I am sure put up with a lot of complaining.
For family that fed me, clothed me, schooled me, colleged me, and helped me get married off.
For a dad that diligently tries to be both mother and father.

For a large support system. Through family, friends, and church. Someone has always got my back. Or sending over a casserole.

For faith in Jesus Christ. I do not like that I am not in control. In fact that is my number one complaint about life in general. But I am grounded in my knowledge that there is a God who is in control. And that makes me feel really, really good. Especially when I am scared.

To live in this country.

For a husband that lives up to what a man should be and will teach his children to not be, or accept any less.

For a healthy, busy, red headed daughter.

For delicious and plentiful amounts of food.

I am blessed with all my needs and most of my wants. (I mean, I always want more throw pillows.)
And that makes me a very, very lucky girl indeed.

I thank God.

Well little blog of mine. I might be neglecting you for a few days.
I will be making sweet potato casserole for 130 people.
Amid other Holiday things.
And I WILL thwart off this cold.
Hope everyone has a fulFILLING Thanksgiving.
Emphasis on FILLING.

Debunking Myths

You know. I was watching my favorite show the other day. And it got me thinking. There are a lot of myths that go around via media. And I feel it is my duty to clue everybody in on the truth. Because I am very smart. And have pretty much figured everything out. I noticed that I knew the answers to most things by the time I was 16. I told my mom that. She liked when I said stuff like that.

Anyway.

During "Glee" the teacher says to a romantically challenged student something to the effect of, "Don't worry...I know there are a lot of things you don't like about yourself. But there will be be a boy that will like you because of all those things you don't like about yourself."

This might be true in some cases, but it entirely depends on the faults.
For example.
Does my husband giggle every time I am late? No.
Does my husband say "oh shucks" every time I leave the light on in the car and kill the car battery? No.
Does my husband think I am cute when I forget to deposit checks? No.
Does my husband like my man laugh? No.

My husband puts up with my flaws but I am pretty sure he doesn't love me because of them. In fact, I am sure I can kind of annoying.

Second myth.
Be true to your self and all your dreams will come true.

Do I believe in being true to yourself? Of course.
Do I believe that you can be a rock star if you just believe in yourself? No.

I mean I believed I could be an Olympic ice skater but that didn't happen. I guess it probably would have helped if I took ice skating lessons. And lived someplace cold.

Third myth.
Recent college graduates have lame-o jobs but somehow live in swanky New York apartments decorated entirely with Pottery Barn merchandise.
Oh and only dress in Banana Republic.

Most apartments are just lucky if they have some candles to cover up icky smells.

Fourth myth.
You can turn a jerky guy into Prince Charming just because they love you so much. And they think all your annoying habits are just so darn cute (see myth number one).

Fifth myth.
Childbirth takes 5 minutes.
From start to finish.

Oh how I wish this were true.

Well there are many more. I will do a second installment later.
You're welcome.

Well I never made it up north to see any fall leaves . : (

This makes me sad. That's why I put a sad face up there. And now I am pretty sure the places that get fall are now headed into winter.

Stinks to be you.

I paid my dues, I'll have you know. And now I will bask in the glorious 70's.

But I'm still bummed about the leaves bit. : (

My husband knows all too well about me obsession with fall leaves. We almost didn't get married because of it. That's another story.

So the romantic stud muffin that he is, planted me 2 trees. One of them turns red.

See, See????

I knew you'd be impressed.

The other one was purple.

Until it died.

I would officially like to invite any snow birds down to my house for a winter holiday.

This will be your room. I will move the clothes.

And Don can tell you a few good jokes. He's got a couple.

Chloe can put on a talent show. People usually like that. I can't think of anything else I would rather do than watch other people's kids do "cute" stuff.

And I'll even pull out the ol' wedding album.

I also have a Marie Callendar's across the street. I will buy you a pie. But not the Chocolate satin silk. That one is always frozen. The pie people put it in a box for you without telling you it is frozen and then you try to help yourself to a slice and your knife gets stuck. It is quite a frustrating disappointment. Someone over at MC's needs to get fired. So we will order a rhubarb pie just to be safe.

As you can see, you are guaranteed a good time.

The straw that broke the camel's back.

Things that gross me out.

Well I am doing my maid job.

And I just have to tell someone this.

I hate shower loofahs.

Why would anyone save used loofahs, and put them in a large basket in the bathroom cupboard?

Were you planning on using one of them again?

I mean ewww. I just can't stop thinking of the nasty things living in those loofahs.

Please world. Just use a wash cloth.

Or a bar of soap.

It just grosses me out.

On the plus side, I found some lip gloss for Chloe and some Bath and Body Works Cherry Blossom body spray for me.

Once again. Child in other room not making any noise...not good.

I told Chloe after I finished cleaning everything up, "Thanks Chloe for making me clean up the stove."

She replied, "Yuh' welcome."

And I said, "No. That was sarcasm Chloe."

To which she replied, "Sorry."

Well at least I have taught her one thing.

My Not So Fun Trip To IKEA

I took Chloe to IKEA today with my Dad and Chelsey.

It was about what I expected. Slightly worse. I told Chloe she is going to make herself an only child.

After we got our Swedish meatballs with lingonberry sauce at the cafe and after Chloe used the metal line dividers for her high bar routine, we sat down and I advised Chelsey:

"Don't have any children."

"I'm not even getting married.
I got kissed once and I did NOT like it.
I got kissed once and I did NOT enjoy it."

And then I advised her that yes, marriage would probably not be in her best interest either.

And then we ate our meatballs.
And Chloe stole Chelsey's macaroni and cheese.
And it didn't go over too well.

The end.

Well at least one thing is done for Christmas.

Merry Christmas from 63% of the Mortensens.
And a quadruple chin.

Don's Christmas Present

Best parts:
You can even dispense toothpaste with one hand.

And

Available in an elegant chrome finish.

Who's the Boss?

So my daughter thinks she is pretty sneaky.

She is up to her usual.

Changing clothes a billion times a day.

Today while I was loading the washing machine she found her dirty pink cloud pajamas and decided this would be her next outfit of choice.

I have no idea why. I am pretty sure the deciding factor was me saying "no."

So every time I came around she slammed her bedroom door.

Gee. I wonder what she was doing.

I think it is funny that she thinks slamming the door hides her naughtiness.

And well, what do you know, she comes out of the room wearing her dirty pink cloud pajamas.

And then says to me, "Hi Mommy!" And then runs away before I get a chance to see.

Lovely.

Well you know what. It is not going to bother me today because I reneged on my promise. I bought myself a Christmas gift. The Glee soundtrack. BUT I had a gift card to Best Buy so it doesn't count.

So I am going to go take a deep breath and listen to this song.

How can this not make you gleeful?




Happy Birthday R. You are an all star!!!!!

These are the days that try men's hearts.

I am having one of those weeks where I send a little message up to heaven in my head where I say, "Mom-thanks for not putting me in the driveway with a sign that says "Free."

Kids. What's the matter with kids these days. (let's see how many pop culture phrases I can use in my post today. The person who can pick them all out gets Chloe)

Lest anyone call CPS on me, let me assure you she is my earth, moon, and stars.

But sometimes patience is not my virtue.

Especially when it comes to temper tauntrums.

So is this where the real job begins? Have I officially reached the point where my duties go beyond clothing, feeding, and sheltering my little babe?

Is this the point where I start molding her into a responsible human being and a future contributing member of society?

I mean...gosh. Like that's not a huge responsibility.

I suddenly feel very tired.

Dear Don,
I know you like to Christmas shop early. Shopping is after all one of your favorite things to do. Like most men. I thought I would help you out. I'd like these tunes. I would clean my house really, really, REALLY good if I had good music to listen to.

If I had this sweater I would have the energy to take the dirty diapers all the way to the big outside smelly trash can instead of just tossing them out the back porch. I would be cheery enough to take the garbage AND recycle out and in every Tuesday and Thursday (or is it Monday and Thursday? You can see how much I currently love this job)

If I had this sweater I would greet you every evening with a smile and a plate of fresh salmon and spinach salad (not that I don't already do this).

I want this. And every other thing my friend makes.

If I had these things I promise to never leave the dome lights on in the car anymore.

And I would always be on time for church because it wouldn't take me so long to figure out which earrings to wear.

So as you can see, these things stand to benefit you as well.

Also, I might call attention to past references to a certain duvet and throw pillows.

You KNOW we need more throw pillows. I mean we must do something about you having room to sit on the couch now.

And I will be a good girl this year and not buy a single one of things and then say to you, "Oh just count this as my Christmas present" but then still expect you to buy me something else, something that you knew I would love even though I never told you I would love it...but you would know I would love it because we were meant for each other....

I promise to be patient. And I promise not to be mad if I don't get a single one of these things.

But for some reason it just makes me feel better to make a list.

They are almost as great in my imagination as they are in real life.

A girl can dream, can't she?

By the way, to print this out, copy to a word document first.

; )

My Cousin Danny

Last week was a crazy week, as I believe I already mentioned. My cousin Danny died. My cousin Danny: was/is a fantastic guy. I didn't really get to know him until I was an adult. He is 18 years older than I am (when your dad has 10 siblings, this kind of thing happens). But what I liked about Danny was that he acted like he was my age even though he was older than me. I think because 1. he is a young soul at heart and 2. he was good at being interested in what was going on in other people's lives.
I also remember how sweet he was after my mom died. I think he took us to a baseball game. He was good at being fun and making things seem normal, while also being sympathetic and comfortable talking about an awkward subject.

My favorite story about Danny happened while I was at BYU. He came out for a football game and invited me to go. So we went and then he took me to TGI Fridays afterwards. This is when I really got to know Danny. He showed me the ring he just bought to propose to his girlfriend. At 40 or so he said he was finally ready to settle down. I showed him around Glenwood, his old stomping grounds. I think he relived some good memories.

Another football game he was nice enough to give me an extra ticket. The game was the biggest game of the year. Between BYU and UofU. All the tickets were sold out and I didn't have one. Danny came to the rescue. We were supposed to meet up at the big Cougar by the stadium. Although the Melissa factor came into play, and I thought he meant the big inflatable cougar that was put up for the games in the parking lot across the street from the stadium. Although at this game the inflatable cougar was not put up for some reason. So I went and stood by the non existent inflatable cougar for 15 minutes or so. He never showed up, I wonder why! So I ran back to my apartment thinking maybe he dropped the ticket off there. I found what I thought was my ticket in my make up box and I triumphantly waved it around! And then my cousin/roommate laughed hysterically because I was waving around just a ticket stub.

Eventually I made my way to the stadium and there Danny was, standing by the cougar statue.
Back then cell phones weren't everywhere so now a day this story would never happen.
But I am glad it did, because it still makes me laugh.

Danny handled his illness with class and optimism. He made others feel comfortable even though he must have been very uncomfortable himself. His funeral did him justice and he was remembered for these qualities, and I know this is the same Danny that exists on the other side. I just hope for his sake that there is football there.

Well. This week was pretty crazy busy. And tonight I capped it off with my 10 year HS reunion. I debated going. The tickets were 60 bucks. It was supposed to be at the "Wrigley Mansion." I thought 60 bucks was a little much, even for a mansion. But last minute my friend suggested we ditch our men and go together. So that is what we did. Also, last minute the locale changed from the Wrigley Mansion to some little restaurant by a man made lake. Which you know what, was pretty nice after all. Even though I complained that it was still 60 bucks and not at a mansion.
So...my HS reunion. I am glad I went. I did have a good time. It was fun seeing some old friends.

Although I am not really digging my make up in these pictures.

High School. What an interesting time. I had moments tonight when I felt like I was back in High School. Mostly good. A few awkward. Which pretty much sums up High School for me.Mostly good times...a few awkward.
Oh and we got dinner too.

I can't think of anything else to say.

It was an...interesting...night.

Last night we had a party of sorts at my Dad's house. A lot of his family is in town so we hosted a dinner. The reason his family is in town is for today, a not so joyful occasion. My cousin Danny died. He had a long bout with colon cancer. Very, very sad. I will have to say more on my cousin Danny later. I am sure the services today will take on a very different tone than the get together last night. But last night we had a good time.

As with anything involving my Dad, he got out his harp and made his niece sing with him. He tried to get my cousin to play the Maracas, he is a talented drummer, but my cousin declined. I wonder why. So I filled in. And I found out it does not take a talented drummer to play the Maracas. I am grateful I did not have my violin there. I got off easy with the Maracas.

My Dad played "El Candor Pasa." Also known as the Simon and Garfunkel song, "I'd rather be a hammer than a nail." No I am serious. The words go, "I'd rather be a hammer than a nail. Yes I would. If I only could. I surely would. hmmm hmmmm." Hippies were weird.

I think he needs the spanish words to the song about a bird. And than no one would understand what they were singing about anyway. Better than a hammer and nail. In my opinion.

This doll looked rather creepy to me just laying on the floor.

We took turns getting ill, in the sit and spin, courtesy of Chloe. Her hair looks like a wig in this picture, doesn't it?

A Bunkbed Story

So I put an old bunkbed on Craigslist for my Dad.

It was red and metal. Out of style, but in good shape.

I got an offer for 20 bucks.

I said, Deal!

The couple came to pick it up.

Guy says, "Where's the ladder?"

I say-crap.

I find it though. The ladder is not in good condition. But all it needs is to be spray painted red. Would take 5 minutes.

They look like they are having second thoughts.

"Would you take 10 dollars because of the ladder? I mean now we are going to have to buy spray paint."

I said, okay.

But now that I think about it, I think, wow that is really lame.

Do you agree with me?

Bwaaaaaaaaa HaHaHa

Last night I had a dream that my friend told me she hated my blog and I yelled at her. She told me I wrote about stupid stuff that nobody cared about. It was really weird. And I was relieved I didn't really yell at my friend. I don't yell at friends generally. I would like to forget about this dream. And what a bizarre subject to be dreaming about. Blogs??? Come on brain. Can't you take me on a trip to France or something? Well this would be the Halloween post.

(Oh and in case curious minds want to know if I am hiding something with my sweater, the answer is no I am not. I have just been enjoying food a little too much lately)

I spent most of Halloween helping my Dad at his house. In the evening we went to my sister in law Julie's house. We ate pizza, salad, and Marie Callendar's pie. What we ate is an important thing to record. Thinking about food makes me happy. Chelsey came along. She decided not to dress up this year because she is officially an adult. She has now entered the adult world where our joy comes from the eating part, not the dressing up part. Welcome Chelsey, welcome.

Chloe went trick or treating with her cousins which I think is a nice tradition.

The butterfly costume didn't seem to be as popular as the fairy costume from last year. If you recall, Chloe was almost the butterfly last year, but I borrowed a fairy costume instead. I personally think she looked hot. I mean, cute.
For half the night Chloe was not to into this whole trick or treating thing. She was scared of the gory costumes and done up houses. And she kept saying, "Kay You." Translation: Carry you. So for part of the evening I was lugging around a large butterfly.

And then I don't know what happened, but she had an epiphany. She must have finally realized the goal was to get candy. And she loves candy. From then on she ran from house to house, laughing as she went. "Hahahaha...candy....hahah....candy....hahaha....candy." etc.

She tripped 3 times.

So we had a good time. But I have to say. Halloween is sort of a literal nightmare afterwards. Because Chloe knows she has a whole sack of candy and is always asking for it.

I think my parents must have given up. Because I remember eating my Halloween candy all gone in about two days.

Oh, and by the way. I think people should give out more Snickers and less tootsie rolls.