My Comic Relief for the day:

So my brother told me he saw this infommercial...made me laugh really hard. I love infommercials and how the "old way" of doing things is just so hard that they need to invent these ridiculous contraptions.

Don makes the Business Journal...

Read me.

What's Christmas without a cold! That's what I always say...

I can't believe it is really Christmas Eve tomorrow. I have barely made a dent in my Christmas shopping because I have been spending most days unpopping my ears as they seem to be steadily filling up with mucas. If anyone has any tips for dealing with this annoyance, please, I am open to suggestions. And now I will stop complaining. Sorry. Recently, my dad purchased a tricycle for Chelsey. I am so fascinated by it, that it is gaining a spot on my blog. As you all know, I don't let just anything on my blog, like complaining about colds for example, that stuff is important and interesting. (laugh)

This trike is no ordinary bike people. Obviously, it has THREE wheels. It probably should be licensed and registered for the road. After all It takes up as much space as a small KIA. And is pimped with things like...

rear view mirrors...

A horn...

Large spacious back trunk. No car seats required...

Comfortable cushioned front seat...and adjustable!

Beverage holder for those long road trips...

Other Christmas activities include, Temple lights, think we all look pretty great in this picture....

I had to post a picture of my fishnets. I love them.

Chloe found a new best friend that looks a lot like someone else she knows.

Chelsey found some really freaky masks. I would say wait till Easter to pull this out again...but I am not so sure I want to see a "deranged Easter Bunny" again (excerpt from Christmas Story movie, see how I can tie it all in to the Christmas theme).

And sometimes, I really wouldn't mind being a kid again. Eat chocolate...then take a nap. Not sure what this picture says about me as a mother though...yikes.

Hope you're not sick of the Chelsey stories....

Cause I've got another one. For all my Jewish friends.
Last night she was playing with her box of toys, which she so generously got out for Chloe. (Although she gets very angry when the toys get placed in a certain someone's little mouth).

Chelsey found a little top and was trying to spin it, but was getting a little frustrated and I hear her say, "Man. I am so glad I am not Jewish. Otherwise I would have to play with these things every December."

A Punny Chelsey Story

The other day my older brother was trying to find their cat Penelope.  He repeatedly called for "Penelope, here kitty kitty" etc. etc.

Enter Chelsey.  "Aaaaaaa!! I am so sick of all these cat calls!!!"

The End.

An oldie but a goodie.

I was chatting to an old college friend last night, and I was reminded of a past Chelsey story that has had me laughing to myself all day remembering it. So I wanted to share. Enjoy.
(for anyone that doesn't know, Chelsey is my mentally handicapped little sister who says the funniest and darnedest things. She doesn't realize how funny the things she says are, nor does she "try" to be funny. In fact she gets mad when you laugh because she says she is an adult and doesn't do childish things like making jokes.)

So anyway, 5 years ago Don and I had just barely started dating. It was at that stage where you are not sure whether you are an item and not sure what the other person is thinking...and don't know them well enough to ask yet...and are scared to ask because you don't want the other person to think your are psycho and want to marry them tomorrow. I digress...but you get the idea. I hope. So I had barely moved back home after graduating college and had yet to bring Don back to my house. In truth I was a little afraid to because 1. I never know what crazy thing Chelsey might say and I hadn't snared Don into my little web yet, thus he might have run while he had the chance. and 2. there are life size photographs hanging in my house of me and my older sister in Renaissance costumes which I thought might seem a little odd to a potential boyfriend...you know like we are all into dungeons and dragons and such. (explanation: we were in a choir that wore these costumes at Christmas time and my mom made the dresses. That is why we had huge pictures of ourselves in them. still weird.)

Well I decided to risk it and let Don into our dungeon. I thought I was safe because the lights were all off and I thought everyone had gone to bed. When out walks 15 year old Chelsey in pale blue see through pajamas and a scantily clad pajama top. Nice. Funny. Really funny. She then starts talking about this and that and wants to know who this new person is. So she asks about the big elephant in the room, which is what she does best, and is the reason behind her charm...she says what everyone else is thinking but just not saying (like "church is for people who like to be bored").
Anyway, the question she posed for Don. Are you my sister's friend, boyfriend, or work associate?

Don't remember what he said. But I guess it doesn't matter now anyway!
aaaaa Chelsey....so glad to have you around.

A Holly Jolly Weekend

Disclaimer: Sorry for all the pictures of myself and references to my haircut.

I am somewhat sad but relieved that this weekend is over. It was fabulous, but also very busy. Just the way Christmas should be! First of all, I got a hair cut.

Second of all, there was a Church party Friday night. I think santa liked Chloe as much as she liked him. Guess we'll be buying her gifts this year instead of Good Ol' Saint Nick...who come to think of it, looked remarkably like the man sitting behind me in church today.

Saturday was our Annual Christmas party. I hope anyone reading this and that knows us and lives here, was invited, otherwise it was by some mishap on our part and we are really sorry, and if you want to not be our friend anymore, that is okay we understand. just don't delete us off facebook-we need the friends.

Anyway...we spent the day getting ready. Chloe was a big help of course. I assigned her to help me pick out shoes for the night. She is partial to the black pointy ones, as am I.

And an exceptionally lovely picture of me.

Also...Don had to jump in the swimming pool to fetch a screw from the pool vacuum. Despite living in AZ, yes, the pool is quite nippy this time of year. Although for Alaskans, it is probably perfect swimming water. I still think Don was crazy for jumping in, but I was also very impressed. Apparently he has been to too many scout camps where they do the polar bear swimming merit badge, and this is therefore deemed as "normal." Nevertheless, way to sacrifice for the team Don.

After a day of prepping, we were mostly ready for a swinging party.
The party was full of good peeps,

good food...

good hostesses (if I do say so myself, I did plural hostess which I guess feminizes Don, he is actually a host not a hostess)...

party goers reveling in the ambiance...

white elephant exchange...

some good old fashioned gift stealing...

...and getting stuck with gifts not entirely applicable for oneself...

...and always an opportunity for some advertising of lightrailconnect.com...

Stacy is really ecstatic by her "music to strip by c.d"... that c.d. is going on it's 3rd year, I am sure we will be seeing it again...

Nice fire...

Relaxing with some hot cocoa...

...lively conversation (staged picture by the way, taken specifically for the blog, pathetic? probably)

Mexican Horseshoes...we won. Really glad about that because we didn't really have a prize to give away like we had earlier bribed people with to participate.

And then the party was over. And I had to go pick up Chloe.

Oh and I got a haircut.

And I need to clean my house all over again. But it was totally worth it. And while I am talking about my weekend, tonight was my Christmas Choir Concert. To sum it all up, we had a very holly jolly weekend. And I am pooped. Good night.

Medicine 101

So a few days ago I got a call from my brother and he told me he was recently diagnosed will bells palsy. I had never heard of it, I am assuming most of you haven't either. But if you have or know someone that had it, I would love to know!

Basically half of his face is temporarily paralyzed. It is caused by a facial nerve becoming inflamed. He can't smile or blink on the affected side. It takes a couple weeks to 3 months for the nerve to heal. I am praying for the 2 weeks! I saw him yesterday and it is one of the weirdest things I have seen, only because I am not used to seeing his face look like that. Anyway, just wanted to share. Can you pray with me that it will heal quickly??!!

2 Lasagnas

The inconsequential Tale of Two Lasagnas-

Yesterday was a crazy day. I went to a funeral in the morning for a girl in my ward. (you really need to read her blog http://www.lemonademakers.blogspot.com/) It basically left my brain in another world for pretty much the whole day. It is at times like these, that I make my most bird brained blunders.

That night we had a Young Women's activity for which I was in charge of bringing the food and baking one lasagna. Bake one lasagna. Now how hard could that be? Apparently very hard. I had one to make, my friend had the other.

I preheated my oven, put the lasagna on a baking dish, never put the lasagna in the oven. Did not figure out until the estimated time to TAKE OUT lasagna. Upon seeing the lasagna on the counter I blamed Don, "Don! Why did you take out the lasagna already!" Don- "I didn't."
Melissa- "Oh crap!"
So I made spaghetti.

The lasagna my friend made? She though 115 minutes meant an hour and 15 minutes. I had to explain to her for about 20 minutes it meant almost 2 hours. Seriously it took that long to explain. Luckily I informed her of that, otherwise we would have had 2 frozen lasagnas for dinner. She ended up cooking it for the required time, but neglected to put the lid back on, so the top layer of cheese looked like a fresh coat of asphalt.

I find it rather alarming that 2 fully grown adult women, cannot manage to bring one properly cooked lasagna. I guess our minds were both somewhere else.

And that was pretty much the gist of my day yesterday.
The end.

Melissa Goes Beatnik

So today I got new glasses. Finally.

And a few hours later (after my dad inquired, "Is that the new style?") I realized I was looking rather artsy today:

*No Make-Up

*intellectual type glasses

*retro t-shirt for a club in NY I have never heard of, courtesy of Old Navy which helps me spread the myth that I travel to many beachy type places, as well as hip urban jazz band clubs.

*muted cardigan

*the book and mug added for effect.

I think I am going to go join a band.

I hope no one was offended in the making of this blog.

This Just In...

So I have been watching a PBS show, and have decided that

Don + Michael Buble's voice= The perfect man.











I told Don. He's working on it.
It's probably not going to work.

Prayers Please!

There is a lovely young woman in my ward who was diagnosed with colon cancer last summer. She is only 25. Tried as she might, the cancer was too strong. She is now on hospice. Will you please pray for her? I can't stop thinking about her and wanted to do something, this is the only something I could think to do. If you want to read about an amazing person, go to
www.lemonademakers.blogspot.com

A Comment from Chelsey

On the joys of womanhood:
AAAAAA!! I hate being on my period. I am not even looking forward to being married!!

Just found out...

Elder Wirthlin died, from the quorum of the 12 Apostles.
At General Conference (every 6 months, broadcasted to the whole church) he gave my favorite talk of all the sessions. Whether you are Mormon or not, these are words to live by.

Black Friday- y'all are nuts!

Well happy day after Thanksgiving everyone! Some of you are probably dead to the world after shopping the graveyard shift. I do hope you got some great deals though. As usual, I chose sleep over everything else. I prefer to wait until the week after Christmas to shop the sales and weed through the ugly Christmas sweaters and other junk that has no chance of being bought. Poor junk. It must feel so bad about itself. Well, anyway...we had a lovely Thanksgiving! For one thing it rained and that was very festive.

For another thing we watched the 765th annual Macy's Day Parade! I especially loved seeing Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers and Ashanti!!! Scream of excitement!! Actually, I really did love watching the Broadway numbers. Especially the Little Mermaid. How do you make walkers look like underwater sea creatures??? Rollerskates!! I also enjoyed the male cast of South Pacific do a fantastic rendition of the song "There is Nothing Like A Dame" even though you know most of them are probably dating each other. But the best part? I am getting all high tech here, and posted a video of it, if you by chance missed. Sesame Street got Ric Rolled. Don was not too into the Macy's Day parade and kept trying to change it too football. I kept telling him, "It's tradition Don!"

After the parade the "Something or other Annual Dog Show" came on. Don said, "Oh no. This isn't tradition too is it?" They were cute and stuff but....

After the parade and after I got my cooking done, I got ready for the day. I tried on some pants that I haven't worn for 3 years or so and well, barely could button them up. I decided those would not be the best pants to wear when planning to gorge oneself. Also, I contemplated taking up running again. And not eating as much. Nah....

Totally by accident...now do you really believe that? My sister-in-law moved in across the street and I have been taking full advantage. She is probably very sick of us. I did download a picture of my pie, but I accidentally deleted it. It was a bread pudding apple pie. That I ate for breakfast. But you probably didn't care about seeing it anyway.

Don got in some football afterall. Futbol, that is.

And it is officially time to put up the Christmas decorations for which I am ecstatic. I recently inherited this little Christmas village from my Grandma. Put it up last night and thought of her. Also, that I need some more buildings. And also, please send me a comment. I am starting to get depressed. ; ) Merry Christmas!

Apparantly Chelsey is not all that amused by Chloe today. I hear Chloe jabbering and I hear Chelsey say, "Fine. See if I care."

It's Beginning to Look a lot like Thanksgiving

So it might feel like Turkey Day after all...

Arizonans love rain.

We get like an inch a year.

Also:

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT eat an entire Chipotle's burrito by yourself. Had it yesterday for lunch, woke up this morning and still felt like I ate 5 bricks. Just training for tomorrow I guess.

Also # 2:

Chloe has been taking over my bed the past couple of nights. I am glad SHE is comfortable. I kept having this weird dream that I was back in college sitting in some class but I was really, really uncomfortable because I forgot to put on underwear and I was wearing overalls that were giving me a wedgie. I think this stemmed from the fact that I was extremely uncomfortable trying to make do with 2 inches at the side of the bed...notice a certain someone's sprawl. I finally got fed up and moved to the extra bed in the nursery. But then kept dreaming about having a broken butterfly mobile in my face, that apparantly I needed to help me fly, but since it was broken I couldn't fly, and Don was getting mad because his butterfly mobile was working and could fly just fine. I woke up and realized I had a broken butterfly mobile in my face. Man, I got to stop eating those burritos. They are giving me some crazy dreams.

The Adventures of Chloe and The Hat

This weekend we took an autumnal visit to Pine, Az (by the way it is still 88 degrees here). Don took his scouts on a campout while a couple other wives and I "camped" out a nearby fully equipped cabin. I felt very sorry for the men folk upon waking up in my comfy bed shivering. Or when I didn't want to go to the bathroom because I was too cold. I would not have made a good pioneer. And since other people I know post pictures of the food they make, here you go. I didn't have any fresh flowers to place next to it, or a hand embroidered dish towel, so just try to look past that. Oh and I didn't really make it. I did however make the best mac and cheese known to mankind. A stick of butter. 3 pounds of white chedder cheese. That is pretty much all you need to know. Perhaps I should make it for Thanksgiving...even though it is not a traditional Thanksgiving side dish...but then again I am pretty sure the Pilgrims did not have marshmallows on their yams either...but they probably would have enjoyed them a lot more if they did. Instead they probably just ate bland pheasant and seaweed. I don't really know...I would look that up on wickepedia if I were you. Holy cow is anyone still reading this??? It is late. Let's continue.

We met up with the boys in the morning and did some very rigorous hiking at Tonto Natural Bridge with our 4 toddlers in tow. Chloe had the time of her life. (insert soundtrack from Dirty Dancing "I've had the time of my life....and I owe it all to you...(aka mom)"
On the hike A certain hat made a special appearance. It is VERY sunny in caves and underneath bridges. That is why I am very careful to protect my delicate flesh.

The hat...

The Hat again...

The Chloe Jean...

The Chloe Jean posing for her shot...

The hat and some other nice people...

You get the picture about this whole hat thing....

Oh okay, so there was this nasty herd of javelinas just roaming free. They disgusted me. They look like hairy pigs but as I read on a nearby sign, they are in fact not hairy pigs, they are "-----". I am sorry I cannot remember what the sign said. But I was afraid of them and their large snouts and that they were going to come carry off my child into the wilderness and either 1. eat her or 2. raise her as their own like in the Jungle Book. And she is way too cute to fit in with a herd of javelinas so they probably would have just eaten her.

she's thinking...I could definitely get used to this.

We picked up this little one from Whooseville. We will return her for Christmas though.

It was a swell time.