The Sun will come out...

I am not claiming victory yet, but we seem to have found our miracle.
My friend Emily said she recently found this book (the boy one) for her son and that it seemed to be having a positive affect.
We have discovered our children are very similar in temperament, and very similar in their lackadaisical taste towards the potty thus far.
So I said, what the heck, what haven't I tried?!

This book is awesome.
It has a button they get to flush.
And a child laughs as it flushes.
It does make using the potty sound very fun.

And it takes them through the basics of the potty.
Which I think is pretty basic and yep, in written format, it is also pretty basic.
I have absolutely no idea why it made any difference, but for some reason Chloe has been booking herself to the commode without any bribing or coaxing from me.

I almost cried.

My only complaint on the book is that it seems to be written for rather, shall we say, dumb parents.
Maybe these are the parents that have 3 1/2 year olds that still wear diapers.
I don't know.
By the way, I can say that because I am one of those parents, so don't be offended.
Anyway, for example:

A sample from the book:
"Mommy* and Daddy* are proud of me too.

*Feel free to substitute name(s) of your choice."

I am very glad they put the * there, because if you were like a Grandma or something, what would you say when you got to this part of the book? It would be very confusing.

Anyway.
Other than that, the book has changed my life.
I know people say that about books all the time.
But this book, really saved my life.

In other not so interesting news, there is a fly buzzing around the room.
There really isn't, but I think that is about as interesting as my last 15 blog posts.

Anyway.
In other news...
I actually cooked something for the first time in months last night.
Shepherds Pie.
I'm not going to lie.
It was pretty bad.
My cooking skills have gone down the tube, especially since I come across things like "Shepherds Pie" and I say, well that sounds good!
I don't know why beef goulash sounds good.
But rest assured, I will NEVER be making that again.
I dreamt about its horridness all night and woke up with it fresh on my mind.
I almost just took the whole casserole dish and threw it in the trash this morning. I don't even want to mess with cleaning it.
BUT....hey I cooked.
Good job self.

And these are the daily happenings in the life of a domestic Goddess.
Don't be jealous.
The end.

How is potty training going, you ask?
Oh. Really, really good.

Yep. Really good.
Today she um, did the grosser of the two in her underwear.

Then I gave her a bath.

And then she did the grosser of the two in the bath. (And probably the less gross of the two in the bath as well.)
But no worries, because she threw "it" away in the trash.

So yep.
Potty training is going really well.

Dear Summer,
It is officially, OFFICIALLY time for you to go away. You have overstayed your welcome. Once again.
But you do this every year. I was ready for you to leave in June, but no, you had to stick around for another couple months.
And when you stick around, you really stick around.
No, no. You can't hover around a pleasant 95 degrees.
No, you have to make your presence known.
Look at me world! I'm 112 degrees! (and the weatherman informed me with the humidity the real temp. is 118 degrees)
I am tired of you ruining good hair days.
And making bad hair days worse.
I am tired of sweat rolling down the back of my knees.
And staying in my house all day.
I am running out of Disney movies!!
I am going to have to turn to "Alice in Wonderland" and "Peter Pan" pretty soon, and you know when that happens, we will have really run out of options.
I thought it was bad when we pulled out "Pinocchio." For some odd reason Chloe actually likes it, and it still freaks me out. Boys turning into donkeys and talking puppets....
Anyway I know this will fall on deaf ears.
I know you plan on sticking around until at least October, and if you can manage, you will hang around until Halloween.
But you better stop with this 112 nonsense.
Because you are really starting to tick me off.
Consider yourself warned.

~Melissa

Travelogue Dos

So I am going to finish talking about my trip. Not that I think this will be interesting to anyone.

Or I could tell you about me profusely sweating all day. (no takers?)
Or I could tell you how I put my maternity pants on today and almost cried.
Because even my maternity pants are tight.
And not in the belly area mind you.
And I will admit, I felt very badly about my "assets" for a few minutes.
And then I put some heels on and I said, hey look at me! I'm so tall!
So I found the solution. Heels.
Anyway.

So the second day of our trip Don took Chloe to the lake with his brother and his wife and her family. I opted out. Wasn't sure how I would do in a rocking boat. Instead I went with my cousin Erin to the mall. And to California Pizza Kitchen. By the way. I really think California Pizza Kitchen should give you salad with your meal. You are paying more than Olive Garden and yet all they give you is the main entree. I hope the owner of CPK is reading this. And I hope he/she changes their side dish policy.


Later that afternoon we played (some more) Guitar Hero. Don and I have never played it. Turns out we kind of rock at that game. Pun intended. Don told me he wants to get it. I told him he could learn how to play the real guitar. He wasn't interested. Another failed attempt at turning him into Jack Johnson. Sigh.

That evening we treated our hosts (aka Don's brother and wife) to dinner. When you go to Provo, there is only one place to go. One the most well known and well loved unique local eateries: Chili's. (cough) At least they have side dishes. We couldn't figure out where else to go. That is why we ended up there. We are super exotic diners.

Third day, we went to church and visited some more...and then that evening we visited my old (not old as in geezer) friend Jourdan and her family. We sat outside and I contemplated how gorgeous Utah summers are. And how I need to be rich so I can be a snow bird. And how much I miss my friends in Utah.
And then almost as soon as it began, we got back in our car and headed back.
We stopped at an Arby's in Panguitch, Utah and when I returned back to the car after using the ladies room Don informed me Chloe wanted to use the potty.
And I said, now is not the time to start being interested in the commode.
That was the nastiest bathroom this side of the Mississippi.
So she stuck to her diapers.
Luckily she thoroughly soaked herself a half hour from home while we are driving down the freeway in rush hour traffic.
So I just took off all her clothes and stuck her back in her car seat.
But then like a broken record all I kept hearing was, "Mommy I naked! Mommy I naked!"
Gosh that kid is so demanding.
Like she needs clothes.
That is all.

On our vacation, my philanthropic cousin (thanks Erin again and again) took my daughter to McDonalds with her sons so we could go out to eat with some adults in peace.
And she texted me this picture that made me laugh so hard that I cried.
With it she wrote: "Chloe has been talking and snuggling with Ronald for over 10 minutes."

And it still makes me laugh just picturing it.
I really I wish I knew what she was telling him....

Also.
Chelsey called me twice today to remind me that I borrowed her DVD's for our trip, and that she wanted them back TODAY.
And yep. My Dad drove her over so she could pick them up.
And so all the world is right again. At least in Chelsey's world.

Liz Graduates...Again!

My older sister Liz graduated from BYU with her Masters this past week. And we took a short trip up to Utah. I love Utah. Sigh. Especially in August. Notice Chloe got to wear long sleeves. I have so many fond memories of Utah, I think that is why I love it so much. Oh, and because the mountain backdrop is stunning. Don had to tie me up on top of the car to get me to come back. Just kidding. I like it here, but it is hard to compare a breezy cool summer night there, to one here when it doesn't get below 90. In case you haven't read between the lines, I am pretty much done with the heat here. But it doesn't seem to matter, because the weather doesn't really obey my every command. Which is kind of a bummer. I would like that super hero power.

Anyway, the night following the Graduation, we had a picnic up in the Canyon. We got KFC in honor of my Grandma. And stayed until it was dark and starry, and Don got out his laser and became the most popular person at the party. Uh, the laser that points at stuff. He doesn't use it to blind people or anything.

The kids sat in this position for hours, throwing rocks...
And then sliding down the hill.
It was awesome. My Dad sat up there with them for hours too. And I didn't have to do anything but sit on a blanket and laugh at them.

I can definitely see why this activity would supply them hours of entertainment....
Before the picnic at the Canyon we went to a little Mexican food joint. It was delicious. And Chloe didn't let us down. She was up to her usual restaurant behavior. ie. running around, not eating, crawling under tables, getting carried out kicking and screaming, and then being so mad that she threw up in the car....aaaaaaaa....I love taking her out to eat.
We all took naps after lunch. Oh did I say "all?" Silly me. Everyone except Chloe, who happened to be the one in greatest need of a nap. We were all very tired. We had had to get up for Liz's Graduation at 8 AM that morning, which I think was cruel and unusual punishment. Especially since the night before we had only gotten 3 hours of sleep because we were getting ready for the trip.
I look like a giant. And I pretty much love Chelsey's facial expression.
Trying to help my Dad with his GPS.
And there you have it. My family. All together. I don't think we have had a family picture since like 1995. We might have to send out a Christmas card this year.

I pretty much have one thing on my mind these days: baby, baby, baby. I am really, really, really excited. I've been day dreaming that I would like to look like this one of these days, that is when my back fat turns into something less gross.
But who am I kidding? This is what I will really end up looking like. Aren't I beautiful? You too can dress stylishly using the sad remnants of your husband's closet.

But it's all good. Because I cannot wait for one of these.

Don was the master at swaddling. He had a system. My favorite part is the positioning of the squares so she could not wiggle her way out of it. And then lastly he would stick the pacifier in her mouth and hold it there until she went off to dreamland. If these steps were not followed exactly she would wiggle waggle and scream. And I would cry and rock MYSELF back and forth in the other room wondering if I would ever get to sleep ever again in my life.

Um...but I am not going to think about that right now.
I'm just really, really, really excited.

I basically love watching "Beauty and the Beast" with Chloe.

She is now able to sing along to the songs and she wants me to sing too.
Which is much nicer than her usual, "Mommy, stop singing!"
And well I will admit it, I like to sing along.

Also,
There is a part that the Beast says "stupid" which made her start laughing hysterically.
"Mommy! The Beast said 'stupid'! We don't use that word!"
No we don't.
Oh and how I miss that word....

Lastly, when the Beast turns into a Prince she says, "Look! A Daddy!"
Which might be my favorite thing of all time.
Every handsome man is a Daddy.
Which is creepy and endearing at the same time.

February 27th. Give or take a few days....

This Weekend...

Saturday I was sleeping. I like to sleep. Anyway, my arm knocked over my lamp. I guess I randomly swung it, I don't really remember why it freaked out. And the lamp fell to the floor. I didn't think anything of it. Then I finally got up and picked up my lamp, then said, "Hmmm, what is that glass on the carpet?" So I touched it. Then I freaked out because I remembered it was a CFL lightbulb. And then I became convinced that I was going to die.
So I looked up how to clean it up.
Guess when one breaks you are supposed to leave the room and open up windows for like 15 minutes.
Well, didn't do that.
And then there was a whole bunch of other stuff too.
So I guess I will be growing antlers soon or something.

The instructions for clean up said to turn your AC off.
So I did.
Unfortunately I could never get it to turn back on again.
Yes, our AC broke.

Luckily is was an unseasonably cool day here in Mesa, AZ.
I don't think it even hit 90 degrees.
It was much cooler outside than it was inside.
And my house began to feel like a rain forest and smell like a...like a....well just not that good.

So we got out of the house for most of the day.
Then we played the expanded version of "Settlers of Catan," aka "Cities and Knights" at a friend's house.
I hate the creators of that game.
I can handle Settlers...but Cities and Knights?
My brain is neither large nor nerdy enough to handle it.
Okay, maybe nerdy enough.
But not dungeons and dragons nerdy.
So after about 2 hours of non stop game fun (oh and congrats to Don for FINALLY winning), we went back home to our swamp.

And then we tried to sleep.
We put on all the fans and borrowed my Dad's swamp cooler.
And I took off pretty much all my clothes.
TMI.
But I did.
And then I would wake up about every hour and felt like I was suffocating.
Plus I kept having dreams that I was inhaling large amounts of toxic mercury.
So then I went outside and tried to sleep in my hanging chair.
And that was nice until I heard gunshots.
Then about 7 AM I jumped in the pool.
Which I did about 5 more times until the repair man came to save us from certain doom.

And then glory be, My friend's husband, AKA my hero, came over and fixed my AC.
And I. Was happy. So very, very happy.
I will never complain again. About anything.
So I am sorry to say friends, this is the end of my Blog for forever.
Because if I can't complain, what else am I going to write about?

On second thought, I will only complain about the things that I am justified in complaining about. ; )

I hereby declare that I in fact will not be giving up my blog.
I am unretiring it.
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Also this weekend, I discovered some of my word choices have fallen on delicate and susceptible ears.
I heard Chloe saying something was "stupid."
I will have you know, I don't call people "stupid," that is just not nice.
But I do call inanimate objects that don't work, "stupid."
However I do not think this word should be part of a 3 year olds vocab.
So we had a chat and I told her we would not be using this word anymore.
Unfortunately her car seat is in fact, stupid, so I had no other choice than to use the word.
And Chloe made sure to tell me, "Mommy, we don't use that word anymo...thas not a good wurd."
She has had to give me this lecture several times.
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Finally, my Chelsey stories have been few lately.
But I have one.
Last week she told Chloe:
"Chloe. Did you know the Wiggles came on Sunday? And we couldn't go because we are LDS. That is the second time being LDS has ruined my life."

And I asked, "What was the 1st time?"

And Chelsey said, "When Dad had his Singles Party over here."