Tonight I took a trip to the Mall with my posterity.

I said posterity, not prosperity.

Although I did buy 3 cookies for 1 dollar at Subway. They were sort of stale. Too bad Paradise Bakery was already closed because they have really tasty cookies.

Anyway I needed to get out of the house. Don was still working so I decided I would try out my new sit and stand stroller at the Mall. I love my sit and stand stroller. One of these days I hope Macie decides to actually sit in something happily besides my arms.

Our first stop was Pottery Barn Kids which I think is an evil store. Why does everything in there have to be so cute and so expensive? And themed. I am really a lover of themes. They had this mermaid duvet cover. And I think I could really get into that theme. Maybe Chloe will let me do a room for her with a mermaid theme. She said she wants a room with a Dora theme. And I just don't think I can do it.

Then we stopped at a clothing store. Which depressed me further. I swear their clothes are for miniature women. Or for women that have not hit puberty will full force I guess. Although my perception might be a little skewed being that I recently gave birth to a good size bowling ball. Oh, by the way. DON'T try on clothes for a long, long, long...long time after giving birth. It was not all that helpful to my self esteem.

So you know what I did? Well I bought some cookies and ate them. And then I came home and had thirds of my dinner. And listened to my screaming baby all the way home.
And now I hear the delightful moaning of a half awake child.
So now I go to attend to the people who I hope stop with their ear shattering sounds soon.

I think it best I stay away from the Mall.

A Game of Who's Who

Don is teaching Chloe how to skate. Don also has Chloe completing worksheets when he is babysitting and is also teaching her how to sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." (which makes me laugh and cry at the same time by the way.) If she ends up being really accomplished, it will all be because of Don. And if she has all the Disney movies memorized, well she can thank me.
Little Miss Macie is 7 weeks now. And still does a lot of sleeping and pooping. But we get an occasional smile which is very exciting. I take it as a "job well done Mom." Before they start smiling, they just look like very disgruntled customers.
Guess Who? Chloe!

Guess who? Macie!

Guess who? Chloe!
Guess who? Macie!

Macie....

So what do you think? Can you tell they are related?

Thanks to Dave F. for sharing this little gem. It gets funnier every time I watch it.

Today was insane.
I wandered around my house all day trying to get stuff done and getting nothing done.
Cleaning my house is like picking up sea shells at the sea shore. You pick some up, then turn around, and by george, there's a bunch more to pick up.
And at least if you are picking up sea shells you probably don't have the sound of a screaming baby, just the gentle ocean waves...aaaaahhh...that was my one tranquil thought for the day.

But this is rather comical:
Don has a scout camp out tonight.
He was in a rush to get out and they all piled into another scout master's car.
Well I am sweeping my floor for the 23rd time today and I notice Don's backpack just sitting there.
Hmmm. Bet that would come in handy tonight...
So I call him.
"Hey Don you left your pack."

And he says, "oh darn. can you meet me here over at Wal Mart? We are doing some shopping?"

I say, "Sure."
Somewhat of a pain, but no big deal, and it will save them time coming all the way back.

Well I look around for the Mazda keys and can't find them
So I call Don.
"Hey Don. Do you have the Mazda keys?"
And he says, "Yep. Oh darn. Well can you just drive the Jeep?"

And I say, "Sure."
Now this is somewhat of a larger pain because the Jeep is parked right in front of the Mazda and it will take some creative maneuvering to get that sucker out. But I look forward to the opportunity of proving to Don that I am in fact an excellent driver, so I welcomed the challenge.

So I get everyone in the car. Including my SCREAMING baby, who thinks the car seat must be some contraption that is going to send her speedily down a steep and tretcherous path to he** ....
And then guess what happened....

I turn the key and...
THE JEEP BATTERY IS DEAD.

Amazing.
Needless to say, that is when I officially threw in the towel.

I pointed out a butterfly fluttering around in our front yard, to Chloe today.

She remarked, "Wow! I didn't know thewe awe buttaflies in da city?!"

Happy Tears

Yesterday I was just chillin' like a villain, that is slang for sitting on my couch nursing. And I came across the PBS special for the 25th Anniversay of Les Miserables.
And I became captivated and before I knew it, I had tears streaming down my cheeks because I was so enthralled by the beauty of the music. I am in awe of people this talented. So in awe, that it makes me cry. I was talking to my sister, and we decided that beautiful things make us cry. Perhaps this is a female thing. And why women cry at commercials with babies and old people holding hands. So we resolved to notice more of the beautiful things, because by golly, this world is overflowing with them. And they are all gifts from God to make our life on this earth...beautiful.
What beautiful things make you cry?

Oh, and check this one out too. He gets like a half hour standing ovation.

Choices

Me: "Chloe. Would you like to take gymnastic lessons or ballet lessons?"

Chloe: " First I take gymnastic lessons. Then I take princesses lessons."

Does anyone know where you take princess lessons?
I guess I can just stick her in front of that "Meet The Kardashinas" show.

Some semi-oldies and some Newbies

Chloe has been obsessed with dressing herself pretty much since she figured out how to do it. That has not changed. But lately it seems her outfits have taken a real turn for the worst. It used to be just wearing clothes that were too small. But she was sure to make things match. And now...well just look for yourself. A cry for attention perhaps since a little thing named Macie has come and stole her thunder?

Seriously though...2 kids is sort of hard. I kinda expected it would be, and in some ways it is easier than I thought...but the hardest part is the adjustment with Chloe. She adores the baby and will do anything to help out with the baby...but I think she must be feeling the loss of 24 hour attention from me and is resorting to some less than adorable behavior. I have Mother's guilt and all that for not spending as much quality time with her and it makes me sad.
Oh well. She needs some material for her future therapy sessions. Up until now I have been a perfect Mother.

Oh, by the way, Macie is a little doll. I've decided to keep her. Except for that time she tried to strangle her Grandpa. But her arms couldn't quite reach. Fail.

I look wretched, pay no attention to that, but those 2 little girls...sigh...


Chloe took this FANTASTIC picture of Aunt Wizzy when she came and visited us last month. We are liking Wizzy being in California. She visits us a lot more now.



The most hideous wall hanging I have ever seen. I believe it was made from the fur of Snuffalofogus,

And Don feeding me with our handy dandy trash picker up-er. It was pretty cool. But...the real must have cleaning tool is a magic wand. Unfortunately I have not seen one of those sold in the "as seen on tv" section of Wal-Mart.



Matching Men.


Chloe met about 4 Santas last year. She looks very excited about it, doesn't she?


This is a really boring blog post. But I am too tired to think of anything interesting to say.
Uh...Goodnight.

Oh, and also today....
There is this salad at the Target Food counter that I really, REALLY want to try,
My friend was eating it the other day and ever since then I have been dying to try it.
On two separate occasions and at two different locations, I have tried unsuccessfully to order this salad.
Both times... "Sorry we are out of chicken."

Well my third attempt today, I was told by the employee that there were none ready, but he could make me one.
"Great!" I said.
But then there was all this confusion because he was getting off his shift in five minutes....

Anyway I said, "Well how about I wait over there and you bring it out when it is finished."
So Chloe and me sat down and shared a yogurt parfait while we waited.

And then 10 minutes later the employee comes out and says, "I'm sorry. We are out of chicken."

Of course they were out of chicken. When haven't they been?
I was sooooo so so close this time.

I wonder if I should suggest taking a little walk over to their grocery section and picking up a package of Archer Farms chicken.

Maybe one day I will be so lucky as to arrive at Target before all the other patrons eat all the chicken.

I went to the park with my friend Heather tonight.
We were chatting and eating Subway when a lady at the park says to us, "Your daughter is naked...."
I looked around wondering who she was talking to.
Oh. She was talking to me.
And I look over at the other side of the park and what do I see?
Chloe's glowing backside. Stark naked.
Guess she had to pee.
And well, since she was wearing her "gymnastics leotard" she had no choice apparently other than to take off all her clothes so she could go.

Loving my cuddle bug....

The sound of silence. The sweetest sound.
I should be sleeping right now, but I can't. This is the first moment I have had today of peace and quiet
Tonight I felt like I wanted to be that diaper wearing astronaut woman who got in her car and drove cross country to go steal back her man from another woman.
Okay, just the getting in the car alone and not stopping part. Not the wearing the diaper part. Or stealing her man back from another woman. Or the part where she wanted to kill the other woman. And oh, or the part where she ended up in jail.
How do I know all this? Perhaps none of you know what I am referring to.
Well you should watch Dateline. That's what we do every Friday night for "fun."
Sometimes we really let loose and share a burrito from Filibertos down the street. Take-out of course.

So I have been watching tv lately. Cause I nurse a lot. A LOT. And I have watched some of the lame shows I have not seen in a very long time. I don't have cable so I have very few options. Sometimes I watch Dr. Phil. And oh, when did he turn into Jerry Springer? By the way. They are the same people who go on the Jerry Springer show. The only difference is they have make up and hair people who make them look like they are normal people. Well that wasn't very nice. But how normal is it to go on national tv to air your dirty laundry to millions of bored (or nursing) Americans?

Anyway. So I have been watching American Idol. I am kind of enjoying it to be perfectly honest. Chloe watched with me tonight. Here is what she observed:
"Woooow....her pretty!"

Chloe appreciates someone who appreciates accessories. This is one of her star outfit creations. The full effect is lost on the camera. You can't see the large purple bow in her hair. But as you can see she paired the pants with the shirt just perfectly.
And the best part is the flattering backside.

When this contestant got up she inquired, "Mommy-is dat a boy or a girl?"

Also tonight I told her she was going to town on a box of girl scout cookies.
You know, that expression doesn't make any sense does it?
To which she approached me later and said, "Mommy, let's go to town. Let's go to town."

Speaking of, I would love to go to town. If that town involves a shopping spree and a nice dinner and a movie. Yes I would definitely love to go to town. But not with Chloe.

My fabulous day was capped off by my only functioning toilet overflowing um ahem, all over my bathroom floor. I believe a certain someone clogged it with toilet paper.
Just like she did the other one when she dumped an entire roll of toilet paper down it.

I screamed. And Don came running. He literally thought I was being kidnapped. And then complained of chest pains. I felt bad.
But seriously. How would you react? I find it hard to be cool and collected when grossness is gushing out all over my bathroom floor.

After this lovely event I put Chloe to bed and noticed her room smelled like an urinal.
I figured out quickly it was her trash can with a pull up in it. (yes she still wears one at night.) And then she informed me that she had "peed in the trash can"
today. Because she "was locked in the room and couldn't get out."
Also true.
Like I said, bad day.
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.
After all, the other day at the park she out of the blue walked to the edge, took down her pants, and peed in the grass.
Apparently she is under the misguided impression she is a boy.

And that my friends was my day. A lot of pee and a lot of whining.
All in a day's work.

1st days Pictorial

Macie is now 3 weeks old and 3 days. She still sleeps a lot. She poops even more than she sleeps. But she is a little angel. And yesterday she gave me her first real smile. I told her a political joke and she smiled at the irony. She obviously is very intelligent. And very up on her politics.
Her smile looked like this. Although this is an accidental smile. This does not represent her first real smile. It is very important to be accurate in reporting details,by the way. I learned that as an on the scene reporter for CNN. Oh you didn't know I did that? Well I did. Yep I have been to Iran.

Oh here I am. (Thanks Emily for the pictures)


I should have never worn horizontal stripes after just giving birth.
You see what Chloe is doing to Macie's head? Okay. This is what I deal with ALL DAY. She cannot keep her hands off of Macie's head. Squeezing and rubbing and squeeling "Oh baby is so cute!" Cute the first time. Not the millionth. Especially when she starts cutting off Macie's air supply.




Don's Mom. My lifesaver and caretaker.







Favorite Picture.


Other favorite picture. That's my Dad.