Did you hear Prince William got married?
Ya, we went out a couple times, but it didn't work out.
We had a hard time understanding each other, with his low brow English accent and all.
My fake one is much classier.
Also the palace has some dumb rule about a Prince marrying someone who is already married with kids. I know, super dumb right?

I don't think I really envy that much about Kate Middleton. I wouldn't really want to be a princess.
But you know what I do want that she has?
Her legs.
I have always admired a good set of stems.

29.

Today is my last day in my 20's.

How did this happen.
And why was I in such a hurry to become an adult?
I mean being "grown up" is alright I guess, but there are definitely pluses and minuses to the whole thing.

Pros:
I get to eat what I want.
I can drive.
I can wear make up.
I can get married.
I can have babies.
I am the master of my house.
I can stay up late.
I can talk on the phone to whoever and whenever I want.

Cons:
I have to pay Bills.
And taxes.
And talk to health insurance companies.
And pay more bills.
And mortgage companies.
And mechanics.
And make other people eat healthy stuff.
And make other people sleep while getting not enough of it myself.
I have to wear make up to look presentable.


Being an adult is kinda the pits sometimes.

I want to live on a farm where our only job is to harvest our own food. Where we have only bikes to get around, and I can pay my town doctor with our latest harvest of pecans.

...Course then someone gets typhoid fever and Mr. Frost sends a storm that ruins all our crops, and I guess that would be the end of us.

I guess things are pretty good after all.

Don said he heard Chloe riding her bicycle down the hallway with a candy basket and saying, "candy bike... candy bike." Like she was the ice cream man.

Also today she beat me in a game of memory. The one where you match up the hidden pictures. I didn't even let her win. I knew I was losing my mind.

Vail

Saturday we got invited down to Vail, AZ for my cousin Troy's son's baptism. I have always been really bad with apostrophes so I have no idea if I punctuated that last sentence correctly. My Aunt and Uncle from Idaho were there for it, so it was a real treat to see them all. It has been three years since last time we saw them.

Saturday was our actual anniversary and we had a great day with the family. It was an absolutely gorgeous spring day.

I had to bribe Chloe with fruit snacks to wear this outfit. We were in a hurry to get out and I had no time to negotiate with my picky fashionista. She was not happy about it though. I heard her saying, "This outfit is so dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb."

I could not figure out where she got this expression from. And then my Aunt pointed out that Chloe and Chelsey must be spending a lot of time together.

I can't believe I didn't put two and two together!

And now Chloe's new phrase, "aaaaaa...just forget it!" completely makes sense.

My Aunt and Uncle. Sorry Troy, I don't know how we managed to not get a picture of you guys.

A few other misc. pictures:

This was the day Chloe wanted ballerina hair. She was quite pleased with the results.

6 years

This weekend was amazingly busy. Actually the whole month of April has been. I think it finally caught up to me because I was so exhausted last night it took monumental effort to switch myself from laying horizontally to vertically on my bed. Seriously. I had to talk myself into it for like 5minutes. Actually I think it was Don who finally convinced me. That's cause he wanted room to sleep too.

Anyway. I think I will do 3 separate posts because well it will be easier. I apologize to all you people with Google reader who will get 3 new blog posts from me. You probably do not care to know all the details of my busy weekend and I am sorry if you have to spend too much time scrolling down.

Friday night we celebrated our 6 year anniversary. We got some Thai food. Not because we are the "we like to try new things" type of couple, but because we had some coupons to eat there. We usually eat at the "Asian Cafe" down the street with the 4 dollar orange chicken bowl. Anyway it was really, really tasty and we did get out of our comfort zone and tried some unique things. Cause we are the "we like to try new things" type of couple. Didn't you know that?

Don ordered the "evil jungle woman" or something like that, in honor of me. I tried to get a good picture of us. As you can see, we failed. He must have erased the funniest one. Probably because he knew I would post it here. Which I would have, so that was some excellent foresight on his part.

We brought Macie with us. She sat quietly in her car seat. To ensure that, I just stuck a bottle in her mouth. She does not care for pacifiers all that much, but she likes sucking on a bottle of milk. she is not actually drinking the milk. So she must just like the flavored air. I get it: it works for adults too. It is called gum.

Then we went to Wal- Mart and did some Easter bunny shopping. I think we had a pretty swell time.

Birthday Chair

Dear Don,

I am not sure you are aware, but my Birthday is coming up. Not just any birthday. My 30th birthday!! I think I deserve something big. So I think you should get me this chair. True it is only 450 dollars, but I think that is small pocket change to spend on the woman you love and adore and has supplied you with 2 lovely (and very loud) children. If Macie could talk she would want to tell you, "Dad, buy Mom this chair. She is awesome!" And I already ran it by Chloe, she thinks it is a great idea. (nevermind that Chloe thinks everything is a "great idea.")

Also, if that is not enough motivation right there, let me remind you are Anniversary is this week too. I would sacrifce and this gift could be a 2 for 1. I know I am very generous. You're welcome. I will go ahead and pick up those new socks for you for your anniversary gift. I would hate for you to go without something a little special for our Anniversary while I get this fabulous chair.

okay, just a helpful little reminder for you! I know how much you love it when I look online for "things."

Love,

Me

Our Whirlwind Trip To Cali

Don's cousin Alexie got married this weekend in San Diego and we took a trip out there. We got there Friday at 9 PM and came back Sunday morning. It was a crazy fast trip. Glad we went, but wow. Travelling with a newborn is exhausting. It is too bad our camera is junk because I got hardly any pictures of the good stuff, oh like the Bride and Groom coming out of the Temple, or a family picture of all of us, or a picture of my fabulous new red shoes, or the fantastic high rise condo we got to stay in with Don's cousin, who happens to live in the heart of downtown San Diego. But here are a few I did get.

Chloe on the couch. Chloe threw up in the middle of the night and was sickly the rest of the day. She was so sick she didn't care about the lemonade, or the cake, or the throngs of other children. Instead she went and laid on the couch in the foyer. It was truly pathetic.

Macie and my sister in law who will be providing Macie with a girl cousin pretty soon.

What a great picture of the bride and groom, huh. Well they sure made a nice looking couple, you will have to take my word for it.

One of the few smiles I got out of her that day.

Probably my favorite picture of all time.

Can you tell what is behind the paper and flowers? I thought it was a pretty ingenious way of hiding the church basketball hoop.

As previously mentioned I married into a mexican family, so there was a Mariachi band and dancing and Mexican food. You know, Mexicans sure know how to have a good party.

Don's family....

There is me. I wanted to show off my scarf, but well it didn't work.

Here I am doing some strange contortion with my hand. It looks like a swan's head.

Oh and on our way there, Chloe saw her very first snow. And Macie drank her very first sugared drink. she had some diluted apple juice. I think she liked it, but I wouldn't know she only has two expressions:really mad, and mildly happy. I think the juice face categorized as moderately happy.

There was also my sister in law's baby shower the day of the wedding...of course no pictures... And I was an hour late because apparently 411 has not updated their list in 5 years. In their opinion the only "Pat and Oscars" that existed in CA was in San Marcos, not San Diego.

Anyway, I am glad we went even though the trip mostly consisted of driving, getting children dressed, soothing upset children, and arguing about 1.Being lost or 2. Being late.

But the wedding was beautiful and seeing all the family was worth it.

Aaaaa....family trips. I think we needed one more day to just relax and put our feet in the sand. Literally. We never even made it to the beach. In fact I think I only saw the beach from the freeway. Uh, we did have a good time even though after rereading this it sounds like we didn't.

In other news, yesterday was Chelsy's 23rd birthday. It was a real festive occasion. We had some delicious strawberry cake and...well that was about it. But man, that was some seriously good cake.

Some Stories.

We had a lovely weekend over here in sunny Arizona. Let's see what happened...
*Well we hit 100 degrees. (hooray.)
I am not in despair yet since it is cooling off again before its final assent into inhumane temperatures.

*We watched General Conference and felt uplifted and inspired.
While my husband went to the Priesthood session of conference (where they are told how to be better husbands, fathers, and well...men, thumbs up for this) I called up a girlfriend (thumbs up to Heather C.) and said, "Hey! let's go to the mall!"

So we went to the most confusing Mall on earth (there or like 4 levels, but the directory only says there are 2 levels because there are all these half levels, which apparently don't count as a real level. Don't the organizers of Malls and illustrators of the directories know about the stereotypes of the women at the Mall? We are not that smart.)

Anyway. It was fun. But I have come to a realization. I am old. Like, Mom old. (I say "like" because that is what people who go to the Mall say.)
I am going to be 30 this month after all.

Dear Don, for my Birthday I want....
Oh wait. I am not doing those lists anymore. Because they never work.
Except for Katie who got me my mistletoe. Now if only my husband would get on board.

Anyway (again.)
There are some hideous articles of clothing at the mall.

This is how I know I am old. Because cool, trendy, YOUNG people must think these clothes are cool because that is what is in all the stores. (Although I bring up a favorite Christmas morning story, like 14 years ago, when my older sister received pink stretch pants from my Mother and the rest of my family laughed hysterically for 5 minutes when she tried them on. To which my Mother defended, "Well...the store had racks and racks of them Elizabeth!!" To which we replied, "Mom! That's because no one was buying them!") Pink stretch pants were NOT in style back then, but now, well now they might be in style. Guess the fashion designers of the world wanted to bring back the 1980's in 1997, but the world was just not ready for the hideousness again. But apparently the world is ready now, because the 80's are back with a vengeance, and I hate it.

So I finally can say I have been in H&M and if this is what is considered to be fashion forward, I will happily stay fashion backwards.

No one, I repeat NO ONE looks good in these things. Okay, well the tall skinny gorgeous people do, but they would look a lot better in something else. If I had a body like that, I would not waste it on these horrible items of clothing just because I could pull it off. Oh wait on second thought, maybe I would. Just to show everyone that I was the 1 in a million girls that could actually pull it off.

MC Hammer called. He wants his pants back.



Jessie Spano called. She is looking for her jumpsuit.
Gee. What every woman needs. An outfit that poofs out at her waist, billows out at her thighs, and cinches in at her ankles. "Hey everyone, did you notice how thin my ankles look?" This would be a great thing if it were 1895. Ankles were the thing back thin. The only person that this outfit would benefit, would be someone with cankles.
Kelly Kapowski called. She wants her culottes back.

I want my knee length skirts and shorts to come back. And my boot leg pants.
I feel very sad about the state of fashion these days.

See. Like I told you. I am an old Mom.

*Also this weekend we had a little adventure with our toilet.
We were watching tv when Chloe comes running and says, "Mom! The aksasdhakslaskjlak."
I had no idea what she was saying.
Well I kind of did. I think I was just in denial. I hoped she had said something about toys. Not the toilet.
But no. She said, "Mom! The toiwet has wataw coming out!" Or something like that.
Because it took us so long to figure out what she was saying, by the time we got into the bathroom, there was an inch of toilet water on our floor and soaking into the carpet.
Conveniently I had to nurse Macie leaving Don to clean up the mayhem.

Well, on the bright side Don was finally motivated to snake the toilet and finally remove the object that has been giving us grief for a year. You see, my eye pencil fell down the toilet a year ago and has remained there ever since.
Don retrieved it for me. It was like seeing an artifact being pulled from the dark abyss of the deap sea. Although this was no Titanic "Heart of the Ocean" jewel.
He asked me if I wanted it.
I said, uh...no thanks.

And lastly, today Chloe had a friend over and hit him in the eye with a stick.
He was understandably upset.
I asked Chloe if it was on purpose or an accident.
She said, "It was on puwpose."
I said, "Well you need to stay in your room for 5 minutes."
To which she said, "Uh...it was on accident."

She hates being in her room.
The other day she figured out how to get out of it by using an electrical plug to open up the lock.
So it was taken from her room.
Later, after a subsequent sentencing and release from her room, she approaches me and asks, "Mom, you help me find that fing that has two fings?" She says this as she holds up a peace sign.
I figured out she was looking for the plug so it could be placed in her room again, you know, in preparation for future sentencing.

Don had a pretty hard time keeping his eyes open.

Why do I think it is so funny? I don't know.

We did get one before our camera went kaput. And then I had to order a new cable online to download the pictures because ours broke and they no longer sell the type of cord we needed in stores. I love that technology is always changing and that we are always desperately behind. " I love technology, but not as much as you, you see. But I still love technology...."

Oh and here is Chloe keeping Macie's pacifier in her mouth. They both fell asleep this way. Sometimes Chloe can be rather charming. Too bad she won't do this at 3 in the morning. Because at 3 in the morning I don't think my baby is all that charming. Especially when she is crying and spitting her pacifier out.

The two things I need right now in my life are:

1. sleep and 2. personal space

Going to go work on #1.