Boring Mommy Stuff...No Seriously...REALLY Boring Mommy Stuff.

Dear my brain,
There are some things I want to get off of you.

First of all. I am very proud of you.
I am now switching back to first person, because I don't feel like completing this whole post in 3rd person.

Anyway.
I was very proud of myself. I went to Target tonight (my favorite store, in case I have not mentioned that enough) to get my favorite things: wipes, diapers, and laundry detergent.
Boooooooooring.
Well I of course had to make my way past the wreathe isle.
And to my surprise, what did my little eyes see????
(oh, p.s. I put this contact wetting stuff in my eyes today and that stuff gave me some sort of reaction on my skin, like a tear left my eye, went down my face, and stained my face with a red line for like a half hour....like that song...."tracks of my tears." You know that song...Adam Lambert sang it last season on American Idol. Speaking of AI...wow. Majorly boring this year. I made myself stop watching because I was so bored. Now I watch other more high brow things like "The Hills." Well, back to what I was talking about... So I probably shouldn't use those eye drops again. I will just try it on Chelsey to see if it happens to her too. Juuuuuust kidding.)

What was I talking about again?
Oh ya.
The wreathe.
Well anyway....what did my little eyes see??? Well, the wreathe was on sale!
Well I thought, I can't pass that up! And I actually put it in my cart.
And then that darn little voice in my head that sounds like me, but looks like Don, says, "No Melissa. You do not need a wreathe."
So I put it back.
And one small tear left my eye and traveled down my face, but luckily this one did not stain my face because I think my tears are only made up of natural Melissa type stuff. ie-salt and water maybe? Not sure. Just guessing because tears taste sort of salty.

Then...
I spent considerable time in the baby/toddler section of the store.
Which brings me to my next really boring topic: Potty Training.

It is times like these that I wish I lived in the dark ages and was a Queen. Because I bet they didn't have to potty train their children.
They were too busy not moving in their corsets.
They had servants to do that sort of thing. Not really sure what Queens did all day though. Really, what did they do all day?

I love being a Mom, but this is one of the items in my job description that I poo-poo. No pun intended.

So here's my thoughts on the whole thing-contradicting thoughts that stop me from jumping into this challenge whole heartedly.
PROS to Potty Training:
1. I want to save money. So I can buy my wreathe.
2. I am tired of changing diapers.
3. It is probably the socially acceptable thing to do. I desire to be deemed "normal."

CONS to Potty Training:
1. I have a phobia of public restrooms. I cannot bear the thought of my Chloe's little bum touching those wretched, germ infested seats. Also, her hands. I have seen little children use the potties. They put their hands all over those seats. They give those seats massages.
2. I don't know how.
3. I cannot find a way to motivate my child. Not even money or popsicles entice her. She just tells me "no thanks." I wish someone would pay me for using the potty. I would be able to by the wreathe in no time. She really doesn't know how good she has it.
4. Diapers are more convenient when out and about. See #1.

Well there you have it.
I just keep hoping that one day Chloe will just teach herself.
You know, just like how she taught herself how to walk.
And how she taught herself how to read and unicycle.

As I was walking through the toddler/baby aisle in Target I checked out some of the potty training equipment.
There was a Dora seat. And a princess seat.
I thought...hey maybe! But then I said Naaaaaa....
And then I looked at the potty that plays a "princess song" every time there is a successful usage of the contraption. I pressed the button to hear the princess song. I don't know how they differentiate between a regular song and a princess song....I thought...like Chloe will care about that...that is just a silly little diddy that doesn't remind me of a princess at all. That just sounds like a dippy keyboard.
So I moved on.

And then I saw a product made for people like me with potty phobia.
They are protective sheets your child can put over the toilet seat.
I squealed.
But then I did the math.
10 sheets for $4.79.
I might as well take up smoking .
I think that is about as economical.

So I left the store with my diapers and wipes and unfortunately no solution.

See. I told you this was really boring.

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Oh, and my Chloe quotes for the day.
Me: Chloe, you are so funny! Do you try to be funny?!
Chloe:No...I not funny....I just happy!

I told Chloe to get me a couple bags of baby carrots at the store.
She did, and then she got a bag of the big carrots.
And I said, why did you get those?
And she said, "Daddy's carrots!....Big carrots!"
She obviously understands food.
Small food=for small people.
Big Food=for big people.