The Perils of Pink Toothbrushes

So yesterday I was taking a shower, as I sometimes do.

And I was reflecting on the nastiness of the glass shower door and the grime that likes to hang out and fester at the borders of the metal frame supporting the nasty shower door.

No amount of cleaning had yet resulted in any acceptable solution.

So I decided it had to go and face the truth of what lurked below the metal monstrosity.

I got out the screw driver and my cleaning supplies, one of which being an old pink toothbrush that I have used many times to scrub behind faucets and all manner of nastiness.

Well I put the toothbrush on my bathroom counter.

Unfortunately the toothbrush I use to brush my million dollar smile is also pink.

And you can see where this is going.

This morning I made the horrible realization that my teeth cleaning pink toothbrush was tucked away in the drawer, and the cleaning all manner of nastiness pink toothbrush was in the medicine cabinet where I had placed it last night after brushing my teeth.

It is a good thing I did not realize my mistake until this morning as I would have had nightmares last night had I known.

PS Don's favorite joke:

Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas?

Ya because if it was invented somewhere else it would be called a "Teethbrush."

PPS Please don't be offended if you are from Arkansas or like Arkansas or have a cousin or a Father or former President from Arkansas.

So today Chloe was asking me about jail (long story) and she asked me what it looked like.
I told her it had bars and that you can't get out.
And she said, "Oh like in that show about the Elf and he eats syrup on his spaghetti?"
Yes, I said.
So she said she wanted to watch "Elf."
So we watch Elf and then she wants to know exactly "how" Santa can fit down the chimney.
And I told her, he just does.
And she said, "Because he has Christmas magic?"

Yes. Because he has Christmas magic.

Last Friday I was curling my hair when I noticed a large red mark on the back of Macie's head. Of course my first thought was what did Chloe do. So I asked Chloe.
I thought she bit the back of her head. She said she didn't. Then I wondered if I had burned her head with my curling iron. But I thought surely she would have cried.
Well then Don came home and I showed him. He knew exactly what happened. He should have been a detective. In fact we jested the other week after some friends moved to Hawaii with the FBI, that he should join the FBI.
Then he pointed out that not everyone gets sent to Hawaii. And we could end up some place horrible like Paris or London. Just kidding. I would not mind living in Paris or London. But with our luck we would probably end up in some dusty little desert town named Tumbleweed or something. I can handle living in a big city in the desert. But a dusty desert town...not a chance.
I digress.
Well Don asked Chloe, "Did you drag her across the carpet?"
And she said "Yes. Four times!"
My poor little Macie. Bald and scarred.
Miss Macie is almost 8 months which I can't believe. She rolls around but that's about it. Which I am okay with. I am not in a hurry for her to be mobile. In fact I have taken to binding her feet. This will make her feet small and dainty like, also make it so she can't walk. Double win.
I thought this story fit in nicely with all the other abuse poor Macie has been afflicted with as of late.
In other news I completed a project. With the help of my friend (A LOT of help) I sewed this roman blind for my kitchen window. So I have something pretty to look at while I do one of my favorite things: dishes. It was nice to get something pretty up. All my paintings and decorations are at the old house still.

Hmm. It doesn't look very impressive. I guess I'll never fit into the online world of Domestic Blogging Goddesses.

Now that is what I call photogenic.

Last Sunday I asked my brother to take some pictures. He so kindly agreed.

I scrambled to find stuff for us to wear and now that I see how I looked in my outfit, I wished I had scrambled a little longer.

By the time we finally got dressed and out the door we noticed a large haboob (aka huge dust cloud) was headed our way.

We had 5 minutes to snap some shots. You can see in the background the impending doom.

Also, we look terrible.

Today was the 10th anniversary of a horrific day in American history.
I looked at my babies today and felt astonished realizing that this day in history will probably seem to them like Pearl Harbor day seems to me: an important date in history, but lacking any real personal attachment.

I have forgotten what happened that day. Who really wants to remember? Watching the footage, it is just as painful now as it was back then. Maybe even more painful being that I have children. I still find myself hearing these stories that I have heard before...just hoping there is a different outcome...perhaps this time, the passengers will be able to take control of the plane and make it back home to their little children safe and sound. But of course the accounts always end the same. And every time, I am shocked by the devastating outcomes.

It might seem morbid to focus on such a distressing event, but every once in awhile we need to remember because we learned something back then that somehow we keep forgetting: The only things that really matter are Family, Faith, Friends and Freedom. And that good will always triumph over evil.
I believe in the goodness of people and I believe in the goodness of America.
God bless America.

Sometimes I like to make up nonsense songs while I am cleaning. I think I get it from Chloe. Or rather she gets it from me. Or maybe that is just what everyone does but nobody admits to it in public.
Chelsey heard me do it the other day. She told me, "That's a good song. But I wouldn't recommend singing it to anyone else."
I thought that was very constructive criticism.
Done. I will never sing that song to anyone else.
Mostly because I cannot remember any of the lyrics.

Today was Chloe's first day ever of dance lessons. I brought my camera and was going to take a video. But...being that she and her friend decided to be the class clowns, I became distracted (mortified) and failed to.

The teacher was very sweet afterwards and told me, "I was impressed with this being her first time. She did very well."

Um....were we watching the same kid? Because I am pretty sure they were making up their own twirling routines in the back of the classroom.
But apparently Chloe learned something as she demonstrated her tap"Shuffle stop." In the pool.
Which by the way, question (s).
1. why are tap shoes so expensive?
2. Why do children still learn tap? It seems a useless dance.
I mean all the tappers on "So You Think You Can Dance" get voted off the first week. I guess the judges are trying to give tap a come back, but it is just not happening.
It just seems sad for someone to be really good at tap because no one really cares.
It is like winning the Olympic Gold medal in Synchronize swimming. So you are good at Synchronize swimming-you ain't ever going to get on a box of Wheaties.
But I suppose this is a bad attitude and I should be supporting these endeavors based on personal fulfillment, not on whether or not they prove impressive or interesting to spectators.
The end. On that subject.

People are always thinking Macie is a boy. I just can't understand why. Oh. Maybe it is because she is bald and is in a black and blue car seat. She is the most delectable baby. And every time she sees me pull out a plastic container of orange mush, she gets very excited. She enjoys meal time, as do I.

PS I am glad I actually did Chloe's hair for dance lessons. There are some hardcore Moms in there.

Yesterday was a big milestone in Chloe's life. She swam across the entire length of the pool. (applause) It took a little bribing, but we can give a little sigh knowing that she is basically pool safe. I was not sure she was going to be able to swim by the end of this summer. She had some issues with putting her head under water and jumping in. Actually, I think she is still opposed to jumping in.

Chelsey was over here yesterday and after dinner we all went swimming.
Chelsey declined at first, "Um Melissa, you aren't supposed to go swimming for an hour after you eat."
Well she put her swimming suit on and came out anyway and put her feet in the pool.
Once again I implored her to get in and once again she told me about her no swimming policy.
So then I explained to her the reason behind that policy and that if you just sit in the pool you won't get a cramp, you have to "exercise" to get a cramp.
So she got in.

Well then I told Chloe that if she could swim across the pool I would buy her the Rapunzel dress she has been lusting over ever since she saw it at Target.
It is pink. It is glittery. And it has Rapunzel on it.
I swore before I had children that I would never buy anything with characters on it.
And now that I have children I am a big sucker because it is so fun to see their reaction.
Plus, I just want her to get dressed.
And the only think she likes are pink skirts and dresses. And that is about it.

So Chelsey was just floating around on her funnoodle and Chloe was practicing for her big event and I asked Chelsey if she could swim with Chloe and show her how to do it.

Chelsey told me she wouldn't because of her no exercising for an hour after eating policy. But I guess she figured floating around on her funnoodle was not dangerous.
Silly me, how could I forget.

Well at any rate Chloe accomplished the feat after a little practice and she won her Rapunzel dress. I had to try 2 different Targets to find it and not a moment too soon. The dress was on the clearance rack and it would have been a tragedy if I could not find that darn dress.
So here it is in all of it's overpriced Disney brand glory:

And well Macie is accomplishing all her goals too. She is almost 7 months : ( and she is doing very well at her tasks: sleeping, pooping, and eating.

Her favorite foods so far are sweet potatoes and mixed fruit puree.

I have to concur. I quite enjoy the mixed fruit puree.

Not as good as the crepes filled with chocolate, banana and coconut I had the other day, but still...not too shabby.

Changing subjects:

Also, the other day Chelsey got me in trouble.

I was telling a friend about how my Dad likes to eat really bland food.

And Chelsey was there.

Well a couple days later my Dad says to me, "Melissa, Chelsey is getting you in trouble. She told me what you said about me."

And then he repeated verbatim what I had told my friend.

Good thing my Dad is good natured and thought it was funny.

Well that night I made my family dinner because my sister was in town.

My Dad went to the store and brought me all the ingredients for the dinner.

And then I see him pull some white chocolate and raspberry frozen yogurt from the bag and says, "Well I thought I would try something a little more exciting."

Moral of the story: Sometimes gossip is productive.

The End.