Dear whomever-
I don't think whomever is a word, but nevermind.
Could whomever is in charge, please, PLEASE stop reporting on Kate Middleton and the Prince. And also Pippa.
I am tired of looking at her gorgeous legs. And her never ending supply of expensive dresses.
And her long flowing hair.
And watching her step out of a private jet.
And I am tired of hearing about her sister's fantastic backside.
And pray tell, how is that fair, that not only do they have long brown hair, but also tan skin? Especially since they live in England.
I want to be a Princess. I want to embark on a "good will tour", or rather a vacation where I have everything paid for and get to go to a party every day and have a new party dress for every party.
I want to be a size 2 and have legs the length of California.
I want to be able to get away with wearing little hats.
I want to have a fancy little accent.

Also, I want to stop hearing about Victoria Beckam having a baby girl and how much money she is spending on clothing and housing that poor child.
Again, enough with the English already.
I thought we broke away from them years ago.

That is all I have to say on this matter.
Sincerely,
Boring old American Melissa