Chloe told me tonight-
"Please Mom, I wanna get on the potty train...please, please..."

It took me a second before I realized she literally wants to get on the potty train.
Well then. I think I will use this to my advantage.
Next step: Find "Potty Train."

It felt like Christmas this morning.
Except for it being 90 degrees at 7 AM.
Don is coming home!
He has been at Camp Geronimo this week. AKA Boy Scout Camp.
I didn't mention it because I didn't want someone breaking in and killing me with a machete in the middle of the night.
Luckily this did not happen.

But it has been a looooong, loooooooong, looooooong week.
Don't get me wrong, I know I shouldn't complain.
I was only a single mom for a week.
And I only have one kid.
And I don't have to work outside the home.
So I know I have it pretty good.
Nevertheless I get an ever so small glimpse for one week out of the summer of the life of a single Mom, and I tell you, I give all you single moms out there major props.
I couldn't and wouldn't want to do it!

Now I just have to figure out what to do for Father's Day.
Although I am thinking I could go for another Mother's Day right about now!

Have I mentioned that I hate potty training?
I am pretty sure I haven't.
I am also pretty sure that I have never mentioned that I like throw pillows and shoes.
That is because I like to accessorize my couch and myself.

I took Chloe to the Pediatrician today for her 3 year visit.
What did I learn?
I have a semi-large child
90% height and 75% weight.
What I like to call a hunka hunka burning love.


Okay well I didn't learn that. I already knew that.

Also. I learned pretty much everything I already knew about potty training.
"Positive reinforcement is the best thing you can do. Reward her for her success."

Okaaaaaay...and when that doesn't work any other ideas?

I got Chloe some circus animal cookies today for being such a super star at the Doctor. We both got poked today-the tuberculosis skin test. My Doc threw it in for free for me. The perks of your Dad knowing another Doctor.

Anyway she ate a few. And then I told her she would have to earn the rest of them by using the potty.
Guess who doesn't care about the circus animals anymore.

Okay, I thought. I am going to have to get really stingy.
So when she asked me for "chocote milk" I said you get it when you use the potty. But I told her she could have regular milk or water.
Guess who suddenly became very satisfied with regular milk and water.

So there you have it folks.

Next strategy: get her a toy and stick it up high in the bathroom where she can see it and tell her she can get it when she doesn't wear diapers anymore.

Not even the Doctor telling her about the poo going to Poopy Land and playing with Mommy and Daddy's poop seemed to make an impression.
Although it disturbed me.

Well I believe my blog has officially achieved Mommy Blog status so I must stop...NOW.

Swimming Suits

Well we are already into June.
And every summer it is the same old, same old.
Still searching for the perfect swimming suit.
Well, I already bought one.
But it has received mixed reviews.
It is sort of this army green color.
I thought it was going to be "copper."
Nice try though.
Lame marketing ploy.

Anyway I found some great options.
Please vote:
Sorry you are going to have to click on the links. I couldn't get the pictures to copy.
A
Somehow this swimsuit achieves space age and the 1980's at the same time.
I think that is impressive.
Also the cut is very flattering don't you think?

B
I couldn't decided between a bikini and a one piece. I think this is a classy compromise.

C
This one is Don's favorite. Too much?

D
I'd love to be on the photo shoot for this one.
"Okay...so can you run through the waves in that and try to look sexy?"
"Well..I can try."

E
This one is if I get picked for the next season of "Survivor."

F
It would be a tough choice, but I think I would go for the one on the right. The other one is just a little bit too subtle for me. When I go to the beach, I want to be noticed. Especially if I am drowning. I think this one would make my very sparkly in the ocean, which would be beneficial to a life saver.

G
I'm an amateur star gazer so this one really speaks to me.
Also, I think her eye shadow looks very nice.

Well I would appreciate your opinion.
The last thing I want to do is look silly at the beach!
But I think with one of these, I couldn't go wrong.

In other news...
I hate potty training.
No, I really hate potty training.
This is the part of being a Mother that I have looked forward to least.
And it is exceeding all my expectations in horribleness.

Although Chloe did take her underwear off and request a diaper so she could do the grosser of the 2 options, which I think was quite responsible of her.

Also, "Stardust" is an awesome movie. You NEED to watch it.

And welp, that is pretty much what is happening over here.

Exciting. I know.

Things

You know.
My not so subtle hints to my husband don't really work.
I have not gotten a Dyson.
Or the plethora of pillows I desire.
Or the wreathe.
Or the shoes.

Sigh.

Oh, I like these shoes too Don.
Not that it really matters.
But for some reason it satisfies my cravings to just put it on my list.


Do you think that is sort of OCD?
I mean, I really, REALLY like lists.
I feel like if I put it on a list, it is good as done.
Like I make lists of goals like it is going out of style.
But I pretty much never take my vitamins. Or floss as often as I should
But I see it on my list and I say...well one of these days.
See. Good as done!

Have you ever noticed how little things like paper cuts and sores in your mouth can be really annoying?
Story.
So I bit my lip on a carrot on Monday and holy conoli it killed.
And it still kills.
I had to go to the Dentist today because half of my mouth was sore and my jaw hurt.
I was convinced I had a trillion cavities.
But the Dentist told me it was just from my itty bitty sore.
Or those little cracks in your heels! Those hurt too!

Oh, Elizabeth, I owe you a can of Enchilada sauce. Don't let me forget.

Anyway.
Things.
Things are nice.
But after all they are just things.
Now if they would just stop putting darn ruffles on everything I would be so much less tempted to want things.
Have you ever noticed that there are an endless supply of "things?"
It is not like you could ever run out of things to buy.
But then why is it so hard to shop for people?
Especially old people.
They must like things too.
But it is hard to pick the right kinds of things out for them.
They say, "Oh, I already have everything."
Well technically you don't.
But that is probably a good life lesson.
They have all the things that matter.
And so do I.

But...Don, I really wouldn't mind those shoes.
PS Do you think it is weird to white shoes with anything other than a wedding dress? I know it depends on the shoes...but what about these shoes? Kind of bride-ish huh.

Awesome Ads

I found these today. And they made me laugh. I love crazy retro stuff. Why didn't I think of this? I personally think this is the best idea I have heard/seen all year...maybe my whole lifetime. Well...maybe just the past week. I believe this is the precursor to one of my favorite McDonalds delicacies: The Mcgriddle.

There is nothing I enjoy more than the aroma of direct cigarette smoke in my nostrils. And in my hair. And on my clothes. That would definitely light my fire. (did you notice my play on words? cigarettes...light...get it?)

Question: Is there anyone on this planet that likes

1. spam

2.lima beans

I didn't think so. But I give them an A+ for presentation.

"And as an appetizer we have a lovely plate of...crap."

Okay, sort of sexist...but come on ladies...sort of true?

I admit it. I am sort of a terrible driver.

Oh by the way, I got rear ended yesterday.

No real damage done on my car.

And no, it wasn't my fault.

Let's not beat around the bush.

You are not big boned.

You are just fat.

Well, thank you very much.

Good news is they won't charge you extra for all the yards and yards of extra fabric they have to use to make the clothes fit your chubs.

Announcement!!!!
Chloe ran to the the little girl's room all on her own today.
I heard an "Uh oh!"
And then the pitter patter of little feet.

She got an otter pop.
And there are more where that came from.

I am not declaring victory yet, but I now have some hope that she will enter 3rd grade in underwear. Preferably sooner...I just prefer to be cautiously optimistic.

PS Got back from CO last Friday evening. BOTH of my cameras are broken so I have no pictures. But all I really have to say about the whole affair is this: funerals make me sad.
We spent 2 of the days driving.
And the rest of the time was spent visiting.
Chloe was excellent in the car, both there and back. She saved her bad behavior for the funeral. Although who can blame her.
I had to keep her in the car when we went to the grave site because she kept trying to steal flowers off the graves.
Although it was nice to see my extended family...just wish it were under happier circumstances.