To whoever stole my crystal mistletoe:
Please return it immediately to my house. I know that you snuck into my garage in the middle of June when I would least expect it, rummaged through my box of Christmas decorations, and took off with my most favorite of Christmas decorations. It was not a very nice thing for you to do.
You are probably the same person who stole my nativity from my storage closet 5 years ago.
This is the only possible explanation for how my favorite Christmas decorations keep disappearing.
I am extremely sad about my mistletoe.
Just look it at how cool it was.
And that is why I know you stole it.