You know what comes in pretty handy sometimes?
My Dad being an OB/GYN.
Especially when I am pregnant.
Yes I am a little spoiled.
Because I can speak to a Doctor at all hours of the night.
And not feel bad.
In fact how do the rest of you all do it?
I called him at 11 PM last night and told him I had to go to the bathroom about every five minutes.
And then he told me he was bringing me cranberry juice.

Did I ever tell you that when I was in labor with Chloe...that wasn't progressing after a day and half...that my Dad came over with his monitor and hooked me up to check Chloe's heart rate when I had a contraction.

And then he said, "I'll be right back. I am going to go show it to your Doctor at the hospital."
And then he called me and said, "They are going to admit you."
And I said, "Score!"
What my Dad had neglected to tell me was that Chloe's heart rate was dropping with every contraction.
That's why I got in.
I thought I was getting special treatment because my Dad knows everyone over there.
Anyway, they induced me and Chloe was born....with a knot in her chord...And I thought to myself, thank goodness for my Dad.
I have the best Dad in the whole entire world.

Last night we had the missionaries from our church over for dinner. I told Chloe earlier in the day that they were coming. When they arrived they were sitting in the other room and Chloe came into the kitchen and said, "Mommy, where are the missionaries?" I said-"that's them in the other room."
And she said, "Noooooooooo....those are Daddies!"

Do I love that all grown men are Daddies?
Yes I do.

Shopping.

So I have a gift card burning a hole in my pocket.
And today I had one goal: use it.
I have been looking like a sad sack of potatoes lately and I was looking forward to a little pick me up.
Surely there had to be something in the great expanse of Chandler Fashion Square Mall worth purchasing. Right?
Wrong.
First I tried Nordstrom Rack. I visually scanned over the racks using my Super Woman type vision, and said, welp, I feel tired.
So then I went to Anne Taylor Loft.
Surely she wouldn't let me down.
She did.
Then I went to Motherhood.
And well, that was just depressing. I mean if I was looking for something to wear to a funeral I would have to look no further. They had plenty of shapeless black frocks and diaper jeans. And plaid.
Then I walked past the kiosk that sells all those prom hair attachments.
I thought, well maybe I could get one of those.
I think my hair might look nice half straight/half prom curls. Plus I could get a piece with like green jewels. I like the color green.
I passed.
Maybe I could get a pretzel.
Then I got distracted by the annoying guy with the kiosk that sells all that skin care crap. Starts with a "Sea" or something....I desperately started texting on my phone in an attempt to look busy. No, I do not want a hand massage to see how soft and supple it makes my skin feel.
Then I wandered around aimlessly for another 2 hours or so.
Thinking thoughts such as, "I hate skinny jeans. And tight mini skirts. And ankle boots. And the color grey." And, "Why is J. Crew so expensive? and I can't wear sweaters for another 2 months. And well, I guess it is back to my white moo moo after all."
Then I went shoe shopping.
Surely, SURELY a pair of shoes would lift my spirits?
I found a pair.
Then I remembered that I have a pair of red heels already.
And that these heels are 60 dollars.
And then I will only have 2 pairs of red high heels to wear and only a white moo moo to wear them with.
So I put them back.
And then I went and got 2 tacos from El Pollo Loco and drove home.
And took my clothes off.
And now I am back to square one.

Oh well.
I guess you guys won't be seeing me for another 6 months or so.
Oh wait. Tack on another 6 for post partum.
See you in a year.

Resting From Our Labors

Sometimes I forget that there are places in the world that get below 100 degrees in the summer. Oh wait, are we officially Fall now? Anyway, as I was saying, so sometimes I like to take little trips places where I can be reminded that such places exist. This weekend we got invited by Don's sister to their cabin in Greer, AZ. It was heavenly. I got to wear long sleeves and a jacket. And I felt something I haven't felt in a very, very long time: cold. It was nice while it lasted. When we got home (at 2 AM because a certain someone wanted to watch a particular football game between Boise State and Virginia Tech, aka Chloe) we were greeted by our stifling house, the AC went out (again) while we were gone. Welcome home Mortensens! But I am pleased to say, we got it working again, and I am once again enjoying (fake) cool air. I am really big on the ( ) today for some reason. You will probably be seeing a lot more of them.
Chloe got a hold of the camera. She takes some nice shots.

We took a drive up a mountain to see the view. And then everyone walked down the hill (here is the use of more ( ) Also on this trip was Don's brother and his family.) I drove down the hill. I rolled my ankle just standing. Someone asked Don how I hurt my ankle and he said, "She was just standing there." Which is pretty much true. I tend to hurt myself even just standing. Anyway I figured I better not risk rolling down a hill. Afterall, there are 2 lives at stake now.

Chloe surprised me with this shot.

Not this one, as you can tell.

They purposefully posed this way. I told them I was going to take a picture and they turned around. I guess they think this is their best side.




Chloe's self portrait. Not bad.

There was this awesome watchamacallit.I felt like I worked at the Renaissance Fair making it work. That will only be funny to people who have been to the Renaissance Fair where all their rides are human powered. And all the Fair workers look like they haven't bathed in months.


Other activities involved sitting on the porch, eating, cleaning up after eating, sleeping, eating, cleaning up after eating, smores, walks in forest meadows, eating, cleaning up after eating.... We had a fabulous time. It was just what I needed. And well, hopefully everyone else had fun too. I think they did. Except for when Chloe threw up in the middle of the night. Other than that, I think everyone had fun.

The Sun will come out...

I am not claiming victory yet, but we seem to have found our miracle.
My friend Emily said she recently found this book (the boy one) for her son and that it seemed to be having a positive affect.
We have discovered our children are very similar in temperament, and very similar in their lackadaisical taste towards the potty thus far.
So I said, what the heck, what haven't I tried?!

This book is awesome.
It has a button they get to flush.
And a child laughs as it flushes.
It does make using the potty sound very fun.

And it takes them through the basics of the potty.
Which I think is pretty basic and yep, in written format, it is also pretty basic.
I have absolutely no idea why it made any difference, but for some reason Chloe has been booking herself to the commode without any bribing or coaxing from me.

I almost cried.

My only complaint on the book is that it seems to be written for rather, shall we say, dumb parents.
Maybe these are the parents that have 3 1/2 year olds that still wear diapers.
I don't know.
By the way, I can say that because I am one of those parents, so don't be offended.
Anyway, for example:

A sample from the book:
"Mommy* and Daddy* are proud of me too.

*Feel free to substitute name(s) of your choice."

I am very glad they put the * there, because if you were like a Grandma or something, what would you say when you got to this part of the book? It would be very confusing.

Anyway.
Other than that, the book has changed my life.
I know people say that about books all the time.
But this book, really saved my life.

In other not so interesting news, there is a fly buzzing around the room.
There really isn't, but I think that is about as interesting as my last 15 blog posts.

Anyway.
In other news...
I actually cooked something for the first time in months last night.
Shepherds Pie.
I'm not going to lie.
It was pretty bad.
My cooking skills have gone down the tube, especially since I come across things like "Shepherds Pie" and I say, well that sounds good!
I don't know why beef goulash sounds good.
But rest assured, I will NEVER be making that again.
I dreamt about its horridness all night and woke up with it fresh on my mind.
I almost just took the whole casserole dish and threw it in the trash this morning. I don't even want to mess with cleaning it.
BUT....hey I cooked.
Good job self.

And these are the daily happenings in the life of a domestic Goddess.
Don't be jealous.
The end.

How is potty training going, you ask?
Oh. Really, really good.

Yep. Really good.
Today she um, did the grosser of the two in her underwear.

Then I gave her a bath.

And then she did the grosser of the two in the bath. (And probably the less gross of the two in the bath as well.)
But no worries, because she threw "it" away in the trash.

So yep.
Potty training is going really well.

Dear Summer,
It is officially, OFFICIALLY time for you to go away. You have overstayed your welcome. Once again.
But you do this every year. I was ready for you to leave in June, but no, you had to stick around for another couple months.
And when you stick around, you really stick around.
No, no. You can't hover around a pleasant 95 degrees.
No, you have to make your presence known.
Look at me world! I'm 112 degrees! (and the weatherman informed me with the humidity the real temp. is 118 degrees)
I am tired of you ruining good hair days.
And making bad hair days worse.
I am tired of sweat rolling down the back of my knees.
And staying in my house all day.
I am running out of Disney movies!!
I am going to have to turn to "Alice in Wonderland" and "Peter Pan" pretty soon, and you know when that happens, we will have really run out of options.
I thought it was bad when we pulled out "Pinocchio." For some odd reason Chloe actually likes it, and it still freaks me out. Boys turning into donkeys and talking puppets....
Anyway I know this will fall on deaf ears.
I know you plan on sticking around until at least October, and if you can manage, you will hang around until Halloween.
But you better stop with this 112 nonsense.
Because you are really starting to tick me off.
Consider yourself warned.

~Melissa