Dear House,
We need to have a talk. I have noticed lately that you seem to be turning against me. This leaves me asking, "why?" I have been good to you. In fact, you owe me. You are who you are, because of me. I am like the wind beneath your wings. But lately you haven't been flying so high. In fact, you have been flying very low. Very low indeed. In fact, I am angry with you. I have considered lighting a match and walking away. But I am not ready to give up yet. That is why I am writing you this letter. Hopefully such drastic measures do not need to be taken, if you would just shape up! Let's walk down memory lane for a moment.
Remember when you were sporting "custom paint"? Only a true friend would take you aside and tell you this hue of pink was really not your color. Remember how I so lovingly taught you how to play up your best assets? Those frames are mine. And if you don't shape up, I am taking them back.

Instead you have allowed horrible creatures to invade you and turn me into the plague. Some of our mutual friends won't even visit me anymore because of you.

Remember how we turned your rocky exterior...

Into well...dead grass...BUT REMEMBER...you were green once! If you hadn't had let yourself go...you only have yourself to blame.Remember how we planted trees,and painted your door red? Remember?! Remember?! We fixed you up, and how do you repay us? You make it so your toilet doesn't flush. And of course how could I forget the kitchen! You were nothing before me!


But what do you go and do? Stop up your sink every week and then break your water faucet. How am I supposed to do dishes now? Or cook? And with bugs you allowed in, I can't even catch up with laundering. Dishes and laundry everywhere. And nothing I can do about it! I am fed up with you. You are an absolute disaster. And no matter how hard I try, it seems I get no respect from you. You just do something else that is vindictive.

Well consider this your warning, house. Last night I had a dream and we moved to a different house. And it was wonderful! (except for the part in the dream where Don had another wife and we had to share the house, that was not so wonderful).

I hope this relationship can be prepared, and that this is just a little misunderstanding. You've been a good little house in the past...it is just lately...

Sincerely,

Melissa