Chloe was just sitting on my lap nodding off, and then out of her mouth came these words, "Can you put me to bed now? I'm getting tired."
In the history of Chloedom, that has never, ever, ever, ever happened.

Oh, did I ever mention what happened with the lemonade stand? I don't think I did.
Well Chloe made it.  And it was surprisingly pretty good.  I honestly didn't do anything to help her with it. 
And it was made out of lime juice, by the way, since that was all  I had.
At any rate I wasn't too concerned with how it tasted since I didn't think we would actually be selling any.
Well we sat up our table outside, under some shade from our garage, and I started sweating profusely, as is what typically happens when it is 108 degrees outside.
Chloe was undeterred however.  Not too many minutes into my torture, there was a crazy soul walking his dog. And by golly, he bought a cup.  We were selling it for 5 cents, but all he had was a dollar.  Lucky Chloe!
Although now she was even more encouraged that she had an ingenious idea.
Well we sat out there for like another half hour before I suggested that we walk a few houses down to my nice surrogate Grandma's house. 
I thought sitting in the heat was bad.  Turns out walking in the heat is even more unbearable.
At any rate, she was very kind to also pay Chloe a dollar for her lemonade.  And we stuck around for a few minutes, just enough time for macie to spread her putrid smelly diaper fragrance around her house, and to pick up every fragile porcelain doll she could get get her sticky fingers on.
So Chloe made 2 bucks.  Not bad.  I just hope she doesn't want to do it again. I am sure she will.  I just hope she doesn't want to do it again until November.

I was reading Chloe a story tonight and she saw on the back of the book an illustration of a trash can with an X over it.  And she asked me what that meant.
I didn't know but I guessed, "It means to not throw the book away.'
And she said her favorite word, "Why?"
And I said, "Because it is a good book."
and she said, "No Mom! I want a REAL answer!"
Crap. she is getting too smart.

I got a new bathing suit!
It took a lot of research and development.  Hopefully this one pans out better than the last few bathing suits.  Don pretty  much hates every bathing suit I have picked out.  One he says is the color of living room curtains from the1970's.  One he says makes everything sag (Although I think that is not the suits fault, let's be honest here, everything pretty much sags without much help) One he likes, the one from Wal Mart.  Figures.  But that one has done it's job for 7 years and it is high time it retires itself to only private (in pitch black) backyard swimming.  And the other one is the only one suitable for outside world consumption.  But I feel like I am wearing a Prom dress when I wear it in the water.

Speaking of Prom...Today I put on my Prom dress, haven't put that thing on for 13 years or so.  Chloe is having a Princess Tea Party for her Birthday, and she wanted me to try on my Princess dress.  Although she said I am not to be a Princess, I am to be a Queen.  It fit.  Although breathing was a hassle.  But here is the ironic thing-I went to the Mall and guess who I ran into at the Mall Play place? My Prom Date! And just to clarify, I NEVER put on my old Prom dress, and I NEVER see my old Prom date. 

Back to swimming suits.  I want to say a few things about swimming suits.  For the most part, I hate them.  I hate shopping for them.  And for such a tiny amount of fabric, they are quite overpriced.  And I find all these magazine articles and such about "Finding The Perfect Suit For Your Body" all a bunch of hogwash.  The nature of a bathing suit is not going to hide any flaw because 1. It is very little fabric and 2. It is tight.  So exactly how are you going to find a bathing suit that somehow disguises that you are a little pudgy, or a lot pudgy, or have dimply thighs. I mean, it is all right there for everyone to see.  Rouching, buckles, embellishments do not trick people into not seeing your muffin top.  Or your lovable, yet plump thighs.  So let's just be honest about that.  And if you are googling "Plus Size Bikinis," you probably should rethink that idea.  Because no matter what Glamour magazine says, there is no bikini that is going to look good on you.  The only way to make junk in the trunk, or any junk look good, is to cover it up.  Or, make it darker.  And since I don't really have the option of making things darker, I choose to cover it up.  And that is all I have to say about bathing suits. 

And now I would like to talk about Mother's Day.  On Saturday we had our annual dinner at Leonore's house.  And then Don took me to the Mall, dropped me off, and I ran inside with 10 minutes before the store closed, to get my Mother's Day present.  I knew what I wanted. A skirt.  Well the next morning I put it on for church and Don was not a fan. And despite what is sounds like, Don usually does not have many opinions when it comes to what I wear.  Anyway, I took it back. But we had a nice Mother's Day. Don made me muffins.  And cleaned the kitchen.  And I felt grateful to have my two little munchkins who bring me so much joy and sunshine.  Being their Mommy is a privilege. 

So now I need to go and help make lemonade with Chloe.  She wants to sell lemonade today.  I really hope that upon spending 1 minute outside she will realize it is a lousy idea.

I had Chelsey over twice this week. 
As always, Chloe was driving her crazy.
And Chelsey was driving me crazy because Chloe was driving her crazy.
I heard Chelsey say in exasperation, "This is all Melissa's fault!  If Melissa had never gotten married, I wouldn't be having to deal with this!"

Also, Chelsey dis- invited and re-invited me to The Wiggles Concert about 67 times over the past two days.
I am hoping to get dis- invited the actual day of the concert.  And I'd say that there is a pretty good chance of that happening.

I just heard Chloe in the other room say, "MmmmmMMMMM!!! Delicious! I love leche!"

We are so multicultural over here.

And I just heard Chelsey say to Chloe:

"I hate that show! I can't believe you watch that garbage!"

I wish I had more Macie stories to tell.  But the fact is she doesn't really talk so all I can really say is that she is one cute baby, wandering around and flashing me her smiles.  I can say that she ate an entire McDonalds double cheeseburger by herself today.  which I am not sure is such a great accomplishment, but nevertheless, she did.

Also I think that Chloe might have messed up the tv today.  The tv started acting possessed.  Changing channels on it's own and acting like it had a mind of it's own.

I am wondering if this can be attributed to the water stains I found on the tv and the spray bottle nearby the scene of the crime.  Chloe told me she was just trying to clean the tv. 

I told Don this morning I was thinking of telling her that the tv was broken so that she couldn't ask me to watch "Caillou" all afternoon.

Be careful what you say outloud, because I think she just might have done it.

Anyway I told chloe that if the tv was broken, I was going to cry.

And she told me, "Mom's don't cry?!" 

And I said, "they don't?"

And she said, "No! They are supposed to be happy all the time!"

Well I am glad to see that she has not observed melodramatic Mommy.

Let me confirm, I Do cry.



 So just to talk about me, myself and I now. Or some more rather.  anyway, my birthday was pretty great.  Don took me to the mall on saturday evening and I picked out an outfit. see there it is:

 Before we went to the mall, we went to an ASU alumni picnic.  Thankfully there was a church also having a picnic and they had a loud speaker and a live rapper. I think the main premise of the church is to preach against smoking weed.  which I definitely think is a worthwile cause.  It did make for pretty colorful background noise though. 

 And on my birthday I tried my darndest to rake in as much free goods as I could.  It started in the morning when I got my eye brows waxed FOR FREE at Ulta.  It was a $20 value!(I put that in for you, Robyn).  Then robyn and I went to Joe's Farm Grill and I got a free pizza!  And now let me say here that I told Don about all my free stuff and he laughed at me.  And then he said-I saw the bank account-you paid 10 dollars at Ulta and 7 dollars at Joe's Farm Grill.  which is true, I did.  I got duped! Those tricky business owners are so smart!  Praying on the vulnerability of people with birthdays! of course they are going to buy more stuff-it's their birthday!  But nevertheless.  I still feel good about it.  And the eye brow wax and the pizza were amazing.
Then I went to Krispy Kreme's for my free donut.  I was disappointed it was only one, not a dozen, but I probably didn't need a dozen donuts anyway.  And when i look at this picture I definitely confirm that I did not a dozen donuts.

 Then we went out to PF Changs and had a terrific time.

(That headband was cute. But I had to take it back. It kept falling off my head.  So all I have left of it, is the memory if it's possibilities.)
Then we came home.  And I was exhausted.  So I went right to bed.
And then  woke up at 3 AM to eat my Krispy Kreme.
Then I woke up at 8 AM and said to myself, Melissa.  Today you are going to turn over a new leaf and not eat like a starving soldier anymore.
And then I went out for crepes with my friend Amy and ate like a starving soldier.
So I had a pretty good weekend.  Really good. 

Dear Erin,

Thank you.  I took this little picture just for you to show you my appreciation. I was extremely impressed and giddy when I opened your gift.  If Santa Claus ever decides to retire, I think you should apply for the job. 

I think I got the photo pretty spot on.  I like my background better though.  Has more of a modern industrial look. 
Also, I think my hair looks better.
Thanks again for making all my birthday wishes come true.