On Why I love My Job and a Chelsey Story:

I have the best job in the world. And these are the reasons why:

My boss is-
funny
doesn't care if I ever get dressed
leaves me alone for 2 hours out of the day
cannot talk
completely unprofessional
loves me best when I don't get any work done

Also-

Chelsey is over at my house today and we have been discussing what we are going to do today so that she is not "bored out of my (her) mind."

I had her write a list. She had one thing on her list: "Play on an indoor playground."

Since the only indoor playgrounds I know of are attached to indoor fast food establishments I suggested we do that, and I hear from the other room:

(In a gruff voice)

"Well what do you want me to say??!! Cha cha cha, ah cha cha, cha cha cha, ooh la la, cha cha cha the bear cha cha cha???!!" (apparantly this is a song from a show that she hasn't seen since 2000-2003. The show was called Bear in the Big Blue House)

I replied, "Chelsey, what did you just say? Did you just say that?"

Chelsey: "ohhhhhh. Note to self. Do not talk to myself outloud."

And I think that is pretty good advice for all of us.

What's In Your Wallet?

Getting your clothes peed on as you walk into a restaurant-Free.

Terryaki Chicken Plate at Moki's Hawaiian Grill- 8 dollars.

Money paid to restaurant employee to clean up pile of liquid excrement on restaurant floor left by 16 month old child-5 dollars.

Emergency trip to next door Bashas for diapers and wipes because conveniently, you have none in your gargantuan diaper bag- 12 dollars.

Gas wasted driving to babysitter's house in attempt to see movie, only to have plan foiled by lack of found car keys, which "someone" lost in couch cushion- 3 dollars.

Going to sleep and getting to try the whole day over again tomorrow-Priceless.

The Wedding...and Record Breaking Long Post

We are back from our whirlwind trip to Utah for Don's brothers wedding(that is a lot of possessives and I have never been good with apostrohpies). Here is what happened:

We left Wednesday afternoon and got to Provo around 2 AM. Note to self, leave earlier. The drive was rather uneventful for us. My sister-in-law however, had an owl crash into their SUV and left white dust on the front bumper. Nice. We saw the whole thing from behind.

Also, note to readers, if you are ever in Page, do not, DO NOT eat at Jack in the Box. It is not "fast food." It is "slower then molasses food."

The first day the men folk went biking.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the women folk went to Gateway Mall in SLC. Very nice mall. But my child is insane and I almost ended up on a bench crying.
She is very cute though. She just never stops. And I was so very tired (remember the bit about getting in at 2 AM)
Random shot, not meant to be downloaded. Can't figure out how to delete. This is me nonetheless at the mall, looking very tired. The fountain is entertaining though. What kid doesn't love a fountain!
But when she found the stairs, she said "c-ya" to the fountain. (This is the part where I almost ended up on the bench).
Luckily when we all got back to the hotel, Don offered to watch Chloe and the rest of us went out to eat. (sigh of relief) We ate at Johnny Carabbas...in peace.

While we were at dinner, Don took Chloe swimming. Here she is practicing her swimsuit modeling. "That's it Chloe! Now next time when you get out of the water, try to look sultry."
' Now...what was that pose again? This modeling stuff is SUCH hard work. I really feel for "serious" models.'The next day I got even more of a break. I went shopping and Don took Chloe for the afternoon. I took her for the evening though so Don and his brothers could go to an Ultimate Fighting Event. Ya, don't feel too sad about missing that. We also took a trip to the BYU Bookstore and I stopped to chat with my old Managers there.

That night we went to my cousin Erin's house and ate.

Finally it was the big day! They got married at 7:00 AM!! Elder Scott was supposed to marry them, but he was delayed. BUT...my in laws ran into President Monson getting his shoes shined at the Marriott and they stopped to talk to him for awhile. When I get the picture, I will upload it too.
The original Mortensen family. The in-laws were kicked out of this shot.



But that's okay because ALL the women were kicked out for the next one.





So I took matters into my own hands. This is the dress and the haircut I got the day before. Don took Chloe while I blissfully walked around the mall ALONE (until my cousin showed up). I chatted it up with the store employees and hair dresser as I was giddy to have some time for self indulgement. I even stopped at one of the kiosks and listened to a sales pitch for a flat iron instead of pretending to not hear them when they yelled "Hey, can I ask you a question?"


Another totally random picture which I didn't mean to download and can't figure out how to erase.

Anyway, back to the wedding. The women who were kicked out. Not sure what I am doing.


A shamless attempt for advertising. Have you visited Don's website yet? http://www.lightrailconnect.com/


After the wedding we took a scenic drive up Provo Canyon. I know Utah sometimes gets dogged on, but I don't understand why. I admit it. I love Utah. I especially love the canyon. And I love Aspen trees. I wish they grew here. I would have at least 10 of them.

We stopped at Cascade Springs and walked around.


Chloe has been practicing her people skills. I don't know who the other kid is. But I think this was their conversation:

Boy: "I am 4, how old are you?"

Chloe: "I don't know. I can't talk and I don't know my numbers."

Merry Christmas from the Mortensens!

After the scenic drive, was the moment we had all been waiting for. Dinner. Just kidding. The reception!

Chloe and her cousins Makayla and Walter. Makayla was Chloe's babysitter, but she traded up when little Walter came around. It's okay, Chloe wasn't offended, just curious.

A peaceful moment. Don't be deceived.

Cousins Wyatt and Dillon.

Exhausted. But happy.
And then as quickly as it started, it was all over. We started for our long walk home. It was a very, very, VERY, very long walk.

A Conversation

My conversation with Don this morning:

Don: "Melissa, why don't you blog about my job fair."

Melissa: "Okay I will."

Don has started his own business called http://www.lightrailconnect.com/. He specializes in all things around the light rail. He would like to be known as Mr. LightRail...not with a speedo or anything like that. Right now he is focusing on the Phoenix light rail, but he would like his site to be relevant to all the light rails around the country and then...THE WORLD!!!! (enter loud orchestral music).

His company is sponsoring a job fair on November 13th at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Phoenix.

Anyway, if you are looking for a job and live here COME, or if you have a business and would like to have a booth at the job fair, let Don know. Go to his link above for contact information. He should be having more information about the job fair on his site soon. And most importantly, spread the word like you would a piece of good gossip (good-not bad, bad gossip is bad, like sticky black tar over your hands).

Also, they will also be sponsoring a 5k Race around Tempe Town Lakes, December 20th. They are looking for sponsors and runners. More information to follow on that too.

Well I was a dutiful wife.

And as an after thought, while I was writing this Chloe was entirely too quiet...this is why.

It looks like I will be needing some new "Apricot Glaze" and I can now attest that Mary Kay lip stick is very long lasting.

And as an after, after thought, the lack of comments on my hat means either 1. No one reads my blog (as I had long since suspected) or 2. My hat is ridiculous and you guys didn't want to hurt my feelings. I will chose number 1. Because frankly I like my hat. And maybe I don't care after all what people think : )

Please Advise....Help Wanted!

Nice.

I got a new camera...and I got my old one back. So now we have two, in case one of them breaks...which is really only a matter of when. As you can see, I took some lovely pictures. And I've decided Chloe looks more like Don than me.

This past week we have been doing a whole lot of nothing. Our car broke. So alas, I am without transportation. Lucky for us, some people have been nice enough to take pity on us and have come to visit...or rather, have allowed me to babysit their Chitlens.

As for me, I have been up to my usual. I did join a choir called Desert Voices, made up of people who like to sing, obviously. I am really enjoying it. I Love to sing. I do. It is a very nice outlet for me. The only sad thing is, Chloe's wailing plastered face up against the window as I drive away (well, as someone else drives away, refer to 2nd paragraph and the bit about having no car.) She looks quite pathetic really, and I feel a pain in my heart. I think it is more of a "hey, I want to get out of the house too!" and less of a "I can't possibly go on here without you and your legs to pull on."

I am getting excited for my trip to Utah coming up next week. Don's brother is getting married and I am really excited to feel some fall weather!Plus Elder Richard G. Scott will be performing the wedding (fingers crossed).
Okay, I need your honest opinions, and if we are friends, you will tell me the truth.
I bought this hat because I live in a really sunny place and as you can see, I was made for more of the, we don't go outside because it is too snowy and cold types of places. (How again did I end up in Phoenix?)
So bottom line- If you were to see me in public and you had never met before, would you think:
a. Whoa-she probably has a lot of cats.
b. Is that my Grandma...oh wait,no...no... just a stranger.
c. Hmmm. Interesting....
d. "I want that." (-lady in Napoleon Dynamite)

My social survival depends on this.

Oh and by the way, I don't care what people think ; ) ya right.... I haven't evolved that far yet!

Where Were You?

Usually in my blogs, I refrain from writing anything too serious...I try to be funny, but forgive me, today I am feeling a little sentimental.

What were you doing today, exactly seven years ago? Have we forgotten what happened 7 years ago? 7 years ago. 7. It seems like it was just yesterday, but it also seems like forever ago too! I guess in the grand scheme of things, 7 years is not that long, but a lot has happened in 7 years. 7 years ago I had really short hair and Don was doing who knows what and Chloe...I have no idea what she was up to back then either.

One day a year I think, we should pause and remember though. So stop and pause-what were you doing that day.

September 11th, 2001 I was a Junior at BYU living in the Glenwood (which we so lovingly referred to as the "Glenhole"). It was a Tuesday morning and I was getting up late (not too surprising) for my economics class (which by the way, I was late to so often that I had no idea what was even going on, and yes, I failed). Anyway, that is besides the point, I had just got out of the shower and was in my closet, and my roommate Emily comes in my room and says something like "A plane flew into the World Trade Center." I laughed. Not sure why I laughed. Well I guess it was because I thought she was kidding, although I don't know why anyone would come up with that as a joke. She said, "No I am serious. Come look at the t.v.. It's really terrible. People are jumping."

I came out into the main living quarters. I saw confusion on t.v. and I was confused too. What? A plane flew into what? Oh, it was an accident? How could it be an accident? Saw the plane. Saw the building. Covered my mouth. Gasped. Definitely not an accident. I went and got my roommate/cousin Erin up. She lived in Connecticut growing up, New York obviously is close to home. I really knew nothing about the World Trade Center. Except a brief memory of us eating dinner at an Italian Restaurant inside, probably in the mall. There was a waiter there who kept staring at my older sister. He obviously thought she was a babe. And that is what I knew about the World Trade Center.

By this time most of my roommates and I were glued to the t.v.. It was so surreal watching the Mayor of New York walking through ash, sirens and quiet "snow" falling in the background. I had given up on going to class. I thought maybe they would have cancelled it due to the national news unfolding, but no. I called my dad and told him. He hadn't turned anything on yet to realize the chaos happening on the other end of the country.

While we were watching the t.v. some 20- something guy came in to fix our dishwasher and said, "Don't worry girls, it won't get this far." I hope the looks we gave him were enough for him to realize he was a real doofus. Clearly that is what we were afraid of. Thanks for reassuring us, oh Knight in shining armor! I would try to come up with an excuse for him like...ya, can't come up with one. Just not too bright, I am afraid.

Tuesday was Devotional Day. And what a day for Devotional. We made our way up to the Marriot Center, still in shock trying to process what we just saw.

I don't remember what was said. But I remember President Bateman speaking. And I remember singing. I remember singing with everyone "America the Beautiful." We all cried as we sang. I remember looking around the Marriot Center and looking at the people. This was in the early stages and estimations for death tolls were soaring. I remember looking around and putting faces and individuals to the numbers we were hearing on the news. Thankfully the death toll was not as high as predicted. I was imagining at least 25,000. Not that the numbers are really all that important. No one should die because of the workings of evil lunatics.

I remember being frightened. I never believed something like that could happen in my country. I knew things were going to change. I just couldn't predict how. We didn't even know who was responsible yet. I also felt an intense, almost tangible love for my country. And I felt a connection to God. And I know, people who hadn't thought about God in years, were praying to Him also. We needed Him.

For a short, short while, it was OKAY to mention God. It was "cool" to pray. We put aside our differences in political views and we become ONE NATION UNDER GOD. It was a beautiful thing. I am sure not all the atheists became believers, but at least we were allowed to mention God without being told we couldn't because we would be offending people. Didn't it feel good? Didn't it feel good to be able to talk about faith, and when someone got on t.v. who lost a loved one in the attack, the newscaster said "Our prayers are with you," instead of "Our thoughts are with you." Didn't it feel good!

Oh how quickly we forget....

My mom told the story of being in school when JFK was assassinated. She said school was dismissed early that day. She cried every time she told that story...and I hardly ever saw her cry.

I will never forget what happened September 11th 2001 either. The true beauty and spirit of America came out of those waste places. And I was never prouder of my country.

To Do

Have you ever thought your baby makes up to do lists while they are lying in their crib at night? I believe they do. I am pretty sure this is what is on Chloe's to do list:

1. Cry. Especially in the early morning to get my lazy mom out of bed and to come rescue ME!
2. Eat Breakfast. Throw 95% of it on the floor.
3. Right after mom washes my hands, run to food on the floor and play with it before mom has a chance to get me in the bath.
4. Bath. Make sure to turn water off at least 23 times. Stand up, do not let body soak.
5. Get hair washed. Put "No tears" shampoo suds right in eyes. Cry.
6. Get dressed. Do not, I REPEAT, DO NOT let mom put one of those restricting contraptions on my toosh. Squirm incessantly so mom gives up putting pants on.
7. Ah ha!! Take the diaper off and RUN!!!
8. Play, cry, play, cry, play, cry.
9. Lunch. Rub food all over clean clothes.
10. Repeat #'s 3-7
11. Nap time. Poop in diaper approximately 10 minutes later, thus requiring the assistant of adult and an adequate amount of time to stall.
12. Throw roll of toilet paper in toilet.
13. Pick up used tissue in toilet and carry onto carpet. Drop.
14. Watch mom scream and dry heave.
15. While mom cooks dinner, hang on legs and fake cry. Repeat Titanic motto :"I'll Never let go, I'll never let go. "
16. Dinner. Repetat #'s 3-7.
17. Play with dad.
18. Act like an angel.
19. Listen to dad tell mom "See Melissa, she listens to me. "
20. Laugh to myself.
21. Bedtime.
22. Make up new to do list. Try every day to come up with at least one new item. "You can do it Chloe!"
23. Goodnight.