Items of Business

Do you think my blog is boring these days?

Because I'll tell you what. I sure feel like it is. Good thing the holidays are coming. THEN my friends, this blog will really come alive.

Maybe I should go outside more often.

Or leave the house.

Or get dressed before 3:00 PM.

Happy day today, only 95 degrees! Aaaaa the sweet smell of Fall....

Or maybe that is just the smell of less sweaty people.

And here are my thoughts for the day.

Item A:



I am really excited it is Wednesday. My new favorite show "Glee" is on. Hoorah, hoorah!

My favorite shows are as follows:

1. Glee

2. The Office

3. Shark Tank (have you seen this show? People go on with their inventions and try to get the loans sharks to lend them money)

Item B:

Have you noticed a resurgence of retro hair? See those pictures above? Kind of a throw back to the 70's and the Farrah Fawcett hair. It seems to be the new thing. Which makes me sort of excited. A new style to try out. I think I am over my bangs. So I tried to do my hair all 70's like today. And well... I think it looks almost exactly the same. Maybe next time I get my hair cut I will tell them to style it retro and then I will be super cool.

Item c:

These are the shows I want to be on:

1. Extreme Home Makeover Show (hmmmm...I need a good story so that they want to build a whole new house for me and give me tons of free stuff. I saw one girl was allergic to the sun. I definitely don't have a good (uh, bad) story like that. Do you think a hurt pinkie toe is a good back story? Nominate me please!)

2. What Not to Wear. I could definitely use $5,000 to buy new clothes. And I wouldn't have to feel guilty about buying clothes because I would have no other choice.

Okay those are the only shows I want to be on.

Item D:

Melissa: "Chelsey how many cookies have you had today?"
Chelsey: "2"

Melissa: "Only 2? It seems like you have been eating a cookie every time I see you."

Chelsey: "Okay, okay. The truth is I don't remember how many I have had. I lost count."

That's what I thought. And by the way, these are by no means small cookies.

Item E:

I am sorry. But I can't stop posting these pictures. She changes her clothes at least 4 times a day. And she insists on squeezing into newborn clothes.

I guess Chloe needs to learn how to embrace the size she is now. Dress her body for how it is now and not long for the yester-years.

I think we will sit down together and watch some Dove commercials together and then talk about the things that we love about our bodies.

This is currently what I get when I say "smile."

Item F:

You know what? I like finding Chloe remnants all over my house. Little calling cards that she has been somewhere. Especially when they are not messy.

And this little piggy went wee, wee, wee all the way home.

I am talented...

In the art of injuring myself.

For as long as I can remember I have been injuring myself in the most ridiculous ways possible.

Twice I sprained my ankles with ahem, boyfriends.

One time I went running with a boy and fell in a pot hole and sprained my ankle.

Another time I just fell down a hill in the company of a boy and really sprained my ankle.

One time I tripped over a speed bump running with Don post partum and excitedly proclaimed moments before, "I haven't ran in months!!" Plop.

My propensity to accidents was one of the first things Don noticed about me.

Don 5 years ago: "Wow! What happened! You have a huge bruise on your leg!"
Melissa 5 years ago: "Oh. Ya I don't know."
Don 5 years ago: "How do you not know?! That's a big bruise."
Melissa 5 years ago: "I bruise easily."

And often.

Well on Sunday I took a bike ride with my Dad and Chloe. Monday morning my pinkie toe was really hurting.

But I could still walk.

I could not remember what I did that I could have injured myself. Like I said, I am always injuring myself.

Then I thought...oh I must have run over my foot with the large adult sized tricycle.
It has a huge wingspan and I kept forgetting where not to put my feet.

Then later in the afternoon I was messing around with my toes and-POP. I totally screwed up my toe. I am no stranger to this. My pinkie toes are always getting caught on walls and doors and are always popping out of place. Most of the time I can maneuver my toe in a certain way and it pops back. But this time no such luck.

So I decided to go see a Podiatrist.

I have always wondered why anyone would want to be a foot doctor. Feet are pretty gross. Albeit important. I have new found appreciation for feet as one small injury to a seemingly insignificant toe is making it quite difficult for me to carry on as usual with my life.

The waiting room had a good amount of "seasoned" individuals and a tv playing "The Golden Girls."

So I had my appointment with the foot expert and I learned:

1. Doctor's find 2 year olds annoying

2. Medical Assistants find 2 year olds annoying. The Medical Assistant looked like she wanted to die when she was told by the x-ray man that she would need to watch my kid while I got my foot x-rayed.

3. I am crazy because the Doctor told me my bones were in place so there was nothing to pop out of place. So apparently I have been imagining this phenomenon of things popping in and out of place.

4. Apparently it is my ligament and it will take 6-8 weeks to heal.

But I am still confused because something in my toe is popping in and out of place.

Anyway I am here to say no one gives you sympathy over a pinkie toe but I think we should have more pinkie awareness. It is a real problem. Millions suffer every day with pinkie toe pain.

If you would like to donate money to my "Walk to Eliminate Pinkie Toe Pain Across the World" I will give you my checking account number.

Of course I won't really be walking.

As I already mentioned, my pinkie toe hurts.

But please feel free to deposit:

Wells Fargo

#458968

So "The Office" has been my favorite show for quite some time now.

Ever since the episode on health insurance and I laughed so hard I cried (by myself-something has to be really funny to make me laugh that hard- by myself) I have been the Number 1 Fan of this show.

Last night's show was really funny. Start at 3:00 on the video for my favorite part.

I love that he got all the cheeses from the office refrigerator. I don't know. It just really tickles my funny bone.

Today's Conversation.

Melissa: Come on Chelsey, I need to take you over to my house.

Chelsey: Melissa??!! I have dishes to do. How am I supposed to keep up with this house if I have to go over to your house??!!

I am the new house wife here and I have things to get done.

(Now Chloe is playing in the cat food)

Chelsey: No Chloe!!!

Chloe: Stop it Chelsey.

Chelsey: Don't tell me to stop it!!!! I am just trying to run this house.

I. Give. Up.

Butting Heads

These are the two people I have in my care today. They are quite the pair. They take some nice self portraits, don't they?

I can't get their names straight either because they both start with a "C" and are 2 syllables. you see my predicament, don't you? Chelsey gets more upset than Chloe when I call her the wrong name. It is high offense to call a 21 year old the name of a 2 year old.

A 2 year old that I was told today "broke the tv." How so, you ask?

I gave Chloe a water bottle to entertain herself and she went about the house spraying things. Apparently she sprayed the tv, and a short time later the tv became possessed as the channels changed in quick succession without any human help.

Chelsey concluded the tv's possession was Chloe's fault and since the tv is a mighty big deal around here to one such "C" name, that I was told in no uncertain fashion that:
"Chloe broke the tv by spraying some sort of chemical on it!!!!!!!"

I fixed it in short order (don't ask me how because I couldn't duplicate it) and my house was returned to relative peace and quiet moments later.

And Chelsey I think, frankly forgave the whole incidence as she was distracted by the fact that we bumped heads very hardly as I was getting off the floor.
Oh. And here is an oldie. Just reminiscing my pot belly. And my long hair. Some day I will have both again.

Good News

Good news. Today after Chloe broke the Pottery Barn salt shaker I got at my wedding...

She cleaned it up.

We are making progress.

Good News # 2.

She wears socks with her sandals.

I like this look.

Good news:

My cobra hair is growing.

In case you were wondering what cobra hair is, this is how I refer to the haircut I seem to keep getting that makes me look like a cobra when they are mad.

I hhhhhate this hair style.

I don't like half flipped hair, half curled under.

I don't want to look like a newscaster.

They look like cobras too.

Good news:

Dancing to the Wiggles makes everyone happier.

Especially when I get to watch my dad make Horton the Elephant dance.