Things that gross me out.

Well I am doing my maid job.

And I just have to tell someone this.

I hate shower loofahs.

Why would anyone save used loofahs, and put them in a large basket in the bathroom cupboard?

Were you planning on using one of them again?

I mean ewww. I just can't stop thinking of the nasty things living in those loofahs.

Please world. Just use a wash cloth.

Or a bar of soap.

It just grosses me out.

On the plus side, I found some lip gloss for Chloe and some Bath and Body Works Cherry Blossom body spray for me.

Once again. Child in other room not making any noise...not good.

I told Chloe after I finished cleaning everything up, "Thanks Chloe for making me clean up the stove."

She replied, "Yuh' welcome."

And I said, "No. That was sarcasm Chloe."

To which she replied, "Sorry."

Well at least I have taught her one thing.

My Not So Fun Trip To IKEA

I took Chloe to IKEA today with my Dad and Chelsey.

It was about what I expected. Slightly worse. I told Chloe she is going to make herself an only child.

After we got our Swedish meatballs with lingonberry sauce at the cafe and after Chloe used the metal line dividers for her high bar routine, we sat down and I advised Chelsey:

"Don't have any children."

"I'm not even getting married.
I got kissed once and I did NOT like it.
I got kissed once and I did NOT enjoy it."

And then I advised her that yes, marriage would probably not be in her best interest either.

And then we ate our meatballs.
And Chloe stole Chelsey's macaroni and cheese.
And it didn't go over too well.

The end.

Well at least one thing is done for Christmas.

Merry Christmas from 63% of the Mortensens.
And a quadruple chin.

Don's Christmas Present

Best parts:
You can even dispense toothpaste with one hand.

And

Available in an elegant chrome finish.

Who's the Boss?

So my daughter thinks she is pretty sneaky.

She is up to her usual.

Changing clothes a billion times a day.

Today while I was loading the washing machine she found her dirty pink cloud pajamas and decided this would be her next outfit of choice.

I have no idea why. I am pretty sure the deciding factor was me saying "no."

So every time I came around she slammed her bedroom door.

Gee. I wonder what she was doing.

I think it is funny that she thinks slamming the door hides her naughtiness.

And well, what do you know, she comes out of the room wearing her dirty pink cloud pajamas.

And then says to me, "Hi Mommy!" And then runs away before I get a chance to see.

Lovely.

Well you know what. It is not going to bother me today because I reneged on my promise. I bought myself a Christmas gift. The Glee soundtrack. BUT I had a gift card to Best Buy so it doesn't count.

So I am going to go take a deep breath and listen to this song.

How can this not make you gleeful?




Happy Birthday R. You are an all star!!!!!

These are the days that try men's hearts.

I am having one of those weeks where I send a little message up to heaven in my head where I say, "Mom-thanks for not putting me in the driveway with a sign that says "Free."

Kids. What's the matter with kids these days. (let's see how many pop culture phrases I can use in my post today. The person who can pick them all out gets Chloe)

Lest anyone call CPS on me, let me assure you she is my earth, moon, and stars.

But sometimes patience is not my virtue.

Especially when it comes to temper tauntrums.

So is this where the real job begins? Have I officially reached the point where my duties go beyond clothing, feeding, and sheltering my little babe?

Is this the point where I start molding her into a responsible human being and a future contributing member of society?

I mean...gosh. Like that's not a huge responsibility.

I suddenly feel very tired.