Still Catching Up

This Christmas season was a whirlwind, as usual. But I really enjoyed this Holiday season...once I got the stressful stuff done.
Like our Relief Society Christmas party. For people who are not Mormon, that means a party for the women in our church.
And I was so busy that night that I didn't get a chance to take any pictures so I turned my camera over to a friend who took some pictures for me.
Unfortunately she didn't get any of the most impressive part of the party: a fake fireplace with a real (but fake) fire going. I have a rocket scientist (no she seriously is) on our committee and another woman is an engineer and they basically turned the gym into Bethlehem.

It was sort of amazing. Basically the program portion was turned over to them who put on a pretty legitimate nativity, complete with costumes and sets...and a real (but fake) fire.

And I put myself in charge of what I do best: food.
With A LOT A LOT A LOT of help from everyone else on the committee.
The menu had started out as:
roast beef
mashed potatoes
glazed carrots
salad
rolls
green beans
corn
A chocolate fountain with assortment of dipping features
Hot Coco and Cider

And then I realized....
I was pregnant. And exhausted. And that I didn't have a bottomless stash of money that I could (or SHOULD) use.
And the thought of mashing that many potatoes and dividing out that many roasts to cook made my head spin.

So we simplified, and all in all, I think put on a pretty respectable "spread" as my Grandma would have said.

The revised menu was:
Glazed ham
Green beans with bacon
THE BEST Green Salad with apples and grapes and Bacon of course (thanks to Maggie for the recipe)
Homemade rolls (thanks Sister Nelson)
Baked Potatoes with the important fixings
Hot Coco and Cider
Ghirardelli Brownies and Ice Cream

It was. Delicious. I am still convinced the best way to serve a potato however is mashed with lots of butter, salt and pepper.
Next time I will (hopefully) be up for the challenge.
My friend says she has a great recipe for red mashed potatoes that you don't have to peel.
I will for sure be using this in the future.

Wow. I must be hungry. That was a ridiculous amount of time to spend on talking about food. Actually quite pathetic really.

Anyway the evening was a success and I felt so happy when it was all over.
I think the women had a nice dinner, a lovely program, felt the Christmas Spirit and got to mingle...and that was our goal when we set out.

(Did I mention this was a group effort? I don't want to give off the impression this was all my doing.)

And I realized I never, never, never want to be a wedding planner/caterer or anything of the sort.
Good thing our Church pays well. Why would anyone do this all for free??!!
Just kidding. No one got paid. Except for blessings in heaven.

I Should Not Be Allowed to be Barefoot and Pregnant.

So yesterday was a fantastic day.
I fell for the flipping third time this pregnancy.
All three times I was barefoot.
And two times I slipped on the invisible water on my tile floor.
When I hit the floor I was furious.
I didn't hurt myself but every time I fall I worry that I messed something up inside.
And since this was my 3rd time I felt my luck was running out.
Well I told myself it was fine.
And then my nurse called to tell me about my blood work.
So we chatted.
And then I said, "I shouldn't even tell you this, because I know you are going to tell me to go to the hospital, but I fell."
I guess I was hoping she would say, Oh it was just a little fall, no big deal. (I never learn)
But instead she said, "Well you would be surprised, even the smallest jolt can do damage, and you could have torn the placenta and not even know for 24 hours that something was wrong and by then you could lose your baby."
Or something like that. I'm not so sure about all the technical stuff except for the "silent abruption" and "baby dying" part.
Not really the information I wanted to hear.
So then I talked to my Dad, whose first words out of his mouth were, "Melissa, you've got to stop doing this."
"This" as in falling.
Well believe me, I would sincerely like to. But then again he gives me the advice to "drive carefully" every time I talk to him.
Well since you said that, I guess I will forgo the drag racing with my neighboring Toyota I had planned on.
Anyway, after about a ten minute conversation with my Dad about the specifics of my fall, the speed at which I went down, the angle I fell at, whether I braced myself or not, and other specifics that only a scientist with a camera and measuring devices would be able to make any conclusions about, my Dad simply said, "Well I can't tell what you what to do. It is a decision you have to make. Just ask yourself, if you lost the baby, would you have wished that you would have gone in."
Grrrrrr. I hate that question.
So I reluctantly, being the over cautious person that I am, went over to to the hospital to get monitored.
So I sat there for a few hours with some doohickeys on my belly taking her heart beat and I watched Oprah and cable, and I have to admit, I had a semi enjoyable time. Four hours to myself to watch idiot television was not so bad.
I found the show "I didn't Know I was Pregnant" on the Discovery channel and was mystified by the ditziness of these women who supposedly had no idea they were pregnant until they went into labor.
I thought it was rather ironic I was watching this show while I was being monitored for slipping, and these women had healthy babies with no prenatal care and had their babies on the back of a boat. Well just one woman had her baby on the back of a boat.
I also enjoyed room service and ate my dinner at 4:30 PM like an old person. I also ate like an old person. "Pork" (I would like a second opinion) and buttered noodles.
And then after an uneventful 3 and a half hours they said I was fine and sent me home.
But first I was ushered through the billing department, lest I forget this was not some free vacation I won on the Price is Right.
After being thoroughly confused by my insurance plan, I was told the only thing I really remember, and that was that my little retreat would cost me $350.
Can someone pppppplease tell me how me sitting with a doohickey on my belly, a tray of nasty of hospital food, and 3 viles of blood drawn, could possibly add up to $350. And that is just my portion. So my stay really was 1000 bucks the other portion covered by insurance.

So moral of the story.
I am not really sure.
Except for that I am wearing shoes with traction from now on.
And I cannot wait until my clutziness only affects my body and not someone elses. It is quite a responsibility to be in charge of another person.
But then again, I give myself props. I am doing pretty good.
At least I won't be having this baby on the back of a boat.
Hopefully.

Catching Up

I have a lot of blogging to catch up on. Please, please, contain your excitement. You will learn of our family outings and adventures in due time. I know you have been on pins and needles. "Just what have the Mortensens been up to. I must know." These posts might even be more fascinating than my Christmas wish lists. So here we go. Oh by the way. The above picture is just of Chloe drinking out of her straw glasses, a gift from some of our friends.
And now on to Thanksgiving. It is now past Christmas and let's see what I can remember about Thanksgiving. Ummmmm... I am drawing a blank. But I can tell you, our car got covered in leaves. See?
And we (sort of) helped with the annual pecan harvest.
Chloe loves LOVES "tractor" rides.
And I looked ridiculous.
Don looks poetic.
Not even the wee ones get out of helping at the Mortensen farm.
Being the genius that she is, she picked pecan sorting up pretty fast. She is ready for a full fledged job at a factory. I am thinking we can get her a job at a cotton factory where she can crawl under all the machines and do whatever it is they do there, she might lose an arm or some fingers, but she needs to learn that she has to start pushing her own weight around here. Life ain't no fancy free picnic.

Aaaaaa and then there was the dinner, which was delicious of course.
I made some apple bread pudding pie and sweet potato casserole. At about 1 in the morning.
And Don's Dad said some profound things before we ate, we are glad to see he is doing better after 2 major surgeries in the space of a couple months.
We, I mean "they" played soccer also Thanksgiving day, which I have no pictures to show and...that is pretty much what went down over Thanksgiving.

If you didn't get a Christmas card from us this year, don't fret, no on did. It was something on my list that did not happen. One of these days I will do it, because I realized with each snail mail I got, I felt so happy to be reminded of all of our wonderful family and friends!
If I had written a card, I would have wanted to send a personal message to each of you...and it would say something like:
Thank you for all your friendship and love. We feel so blessed to have all the important things in life. ie family, friends, freedom, life, and faith.
Merry Christmas to you all!

2 Conversations with Chloe.
Both almost made me cry.

Last night we were getting ready for bed and she asked me, "Mommy, where's your Mommy?"
She has asked me this before and I explained again...
"My Mommy is in heaven."
"Oh! " she replied. "I have two Grandmas. One in heaven. One with Grandpa."
"That's right."
"Mommy...let's call your Mommy on the phone!"
"I'm sorry but we can't call people in heaven. But we can pray..."
"Ohhhhhh..."

And then our conversation pretty much moved on.
Sigh.
Ya, try not to cry when your daughter says those types of things.
It's impossible.


The other day I told her her hair was "crazy." Which it is when she wakes up, but I love her crazy hair. A little while later that day she said to me, "Mommy, let's cut my hair."
And I said, "Why? I love your hair."
And she said, "It's crazy."

Can you believe that?
Wow. Girls start young.
And I have to be very careful with the words I use.

For my out of state friends. This is me large and in charge. Mostly just large.

So I was looking on Craigslist for any amazing deals on Christmas toys. And I saw this. And it struck me as funny.
I wish this person luck.
Teddy Bears are pretty much useless, let alone a themed one with a random year printed on the foot.
But maybe I don't understand teddy bear collecting or something.

I can officially start enjoying the Christmas season now. Up until now, I have been feeling insane with busyness. One of these days I will write about Thanksgiving. And the other stuff if I ever get around to it. If I never do, here are the bullets of what we have been up to:

*Don got inducted into the Boy Scout "Hall of Fame" and we got a nice free dinner and to sit through a reaaaaaaally long award ceremony. Finally all his hard work is paying off. It is all about the badges and awards for him. Why else would he camp with a bunch of 12 year olds once a month and drive home with their stinkyness. That's a joke. In all sincerity I am very proud of him. The boys he works with are very lucky to have him, he goes above and beyond and really cares about them. And I think my attitude has come around about 68 percent in the last 5 years he's been the Scout Master. Maybe in the next, it will come around the last 32%.
That is only if I get fed a free dinner once a year, minus the award ceremony part.
Also I would like a plaque. And I want it to say, "Scout Master Wife of the Year."
Or..."You Could Pull Off One of Those Pale Yellow Shirts If You Had To."

*I put on a last minute luncheon for a funeral.

*I taught the lesson in Relief Society the next day.

*I was in charge (with massive amounts of help and initiation from too many people to mention) of our Relief Society Christmas party which was a smashing success (due to the massive amounts of help and initiation from too many people to mention).
Oh, I never want to be a caterer or wedding planner, etc. etc.

*I sat in a lab for an hour after I drank my kool aid to see if I have gestational diabetes and timed it perfectly to get some other blood work done so they would only have to poke me once. But they forgot about the other lab work so now I have to go back and get poked again. Though getting poked is no big deal, it's the getting to the lab with Chloe that does not go on my top 10 list of fun things to do.

*Oh, I have been reminded how delightful the last trimester is with sleeping and dressing and walking and such. I am not complaining...okay I kinda am...I mean, I'm grateful and all...but I don't like feeling like an old lady. But baby is 2 pounds and growing nicely and I CANNOT WAIT to see her in person. In other news, we still don't have a clue about what her name will be, except for Don thinks "Nellie" is a good option.
Ya. That's what I said.

Anyway, I don't think the above bullets have proved of my busyness, but believe you me. I am happy to get back to my normal routine. And I am happy to not have anything more I am "in charge" of for the rest of the month.
Still left to do: parties, cooking, shopping, and caroling.
All of which, I am NOT in charge of. Except for the shopping.
But you know me. That won't bother me a bit.

Chloe Stories.

1. The other day I found a container of sprinkles with a spoon, hidden inside her closet.

2. The other day she didn't want to go to bed because she wanted to watch a movie we got from the library. We told her no. She apparently did not like that answer because she hid the DVD and we have looked high and low for it and it remains to be seen.

3. The night before Thanksgiving, she laid down on a blanket with my older sister and watched "Lady and the Tramp." I am too embarrassed to admit what time it was. Out of nowhere she sighs and then says, "This is nice." She stayed up for the entire movie.

4. Thanksgiving day she really wiped herself out with all her hard work playing and such. At 7 PM she said something she has never said before. "I'm tired. Let's go to bed." I thought she was kidding. But she was not. I took her upstairs and laid down by her. She wiggled and sang and talked to herself and I said to myself, well it was a nice thought. And then she started to sing the alphabet. She got to the letter "Q" then all the sudden her eyes closed, her mouth stopped, and she was out cold. It was like I found her off switch and unknowingly pushed it. I have not been able to find the off switch since.

5. Her Christmas list:
A pink skirt.
And ballet shoes.

My Boot story:
I have been in search of the perfect boot. I have never owned a pair of boots before. I am very particular in what I want. I don't want to look like a lady of the night, and I don't want to look like I shovel cement, and I don't want to look like I am 13, or that I am about to emabark on a journey up Mount Everest. Oh, and I don't want to spend more than (undisclosed) dollars.
Well I found the perfect pair at TJ Max. I did not understand how these boots were still on the shelf and how they had made it to TJ Max. Nevertheless I said that to myself that luck had finally befell me.
I tried one on and this lady in a velour sweat suit comes out from somewhere and says, "Ohhhhhh...cute boot."
I said, "Aren't they! They are a little snug..."
I guess the "are a little snug" part was reason enough for her to go grab the other half of the pair and then stare at me while I was examining my half of the pair of boots.
I thought, well this is awkward.
Then she asked, "How much are they?"
I had not bothered to check yet. Afterall they were at TJ Max, I am sure they are cheap!
I turn over the boot- "150 dollars."

Both of us put our boot back.

Good thing. Cause there might have been a brawl.

I'd like to thank All State for this very educational commercial.
I have been trying (unsuccessfully) to teach Chloe about street safety.
Ever since she saw this commercial and I pointed out that is what happens when you get hit by a car (well sort of), she has been afraid of crossing the street without me.

My friend is doing a 12 days of Christmas giveaway on her Sassy Pepper Blog. A new giveaway for 12 days in a row, check it out and enter to win!

Oh, and don't you think this would make a perfect diaper bag?

To whoever stole my crystal mistletoe:
Please return it immediately to my house. I know that you snuck into my garage in the middle of June when I would least expect it, rummaged through my box of Christmas decorations, and took off with my most favorite of Christmas decorations. It was not a very nice thing for you to do.
You are probably the same person who stole my nativity from my storage closet 5 years ago.
This is the only possible explanation for how my favorite Christmas decorations keep disappearing.
I am extremely sad about my mistletoe.
Just look it at how cool it was.
And that is why I know you stole it.