Dear Don,
Feel free to buy me these shoes.
So I know my blog has seemed a little materialistic these days.
You know, my Christmas list and all.
It is because to keep my sanity, I like to just imagine things I could wear that would help me feel like I am somewhat still a girl.
Which doesn't really make sense, being pregnant in and of itself should make me feel like a girl right?
I mean, girls are the only ones that can be pregnant...well currently.

Someone told me, " Three Months sick.
Three Months quick.
Three Months thick."

Yep. That pretty much covers it.
I am at a loss right now as to what to wear being that all my shirts are now to short, even my "long" ones.
I usually feel a gentle breeze along my midsection which tells me that I have skin showing.
I cannot see it of course, but I can feel it.
I assume other people can see it.
And I assume it is not a pretty picture.
Therefore, I have decided that I need to go back to wearing my skirts. But...I am going to need some boots, because it is cold now.
Do not laugh, it is cold.

Final conclusion: Boots are not a want. They are a necessity.
I am also going to need some new accessories to take the focus off my "blossoming" figure.

Thank you Don.
Also, I could really use these as an early Christmas present.

Okay I am done imagining now. Back to my breezy midriff.
Also, I have changed my opinion on leggings. I am ready to give them a try.

I'm thankful for Mom jeans. What are you thankful for? Happy Turkey day friends!

We had a visiting teaching conference this past Saturday, which sounds Chinese of you are not Mormon. Basically it was a church party. But if you are in the Relief Society Presidency and ever need a good idea for your Visiting Teaching Conference, I thought this was a pretty good idea. Oh here is a picture of our Relief Society Presidency. And most importantly my belly. And large thighs.
I am posting 2 because the first one shows my belly better, but I felt bad posting just that one because my friend has her eyes closed in that one.
So we had food. And I burned the egg casserole.
And muffins. Oh, I didn't burn the muffins, the other ladies made them. They did not burn the muffins.


And shoes. So basically we had a shoe fashion show, and described different types of visiting teachers and what kind of shoe they were. The flip flop, was there one month but not the next...the boot came but stayed so long you had to boot them out...etc. Like I said if you want to copy the idea, just contact me and I will give you more information.
I made some little flowers.
I cannot take credit for the shoe cut outs however.
My talents involve buying things. Like flowers. From Safeway. That is something I excel in.

Oh. I just discovered TJ Max recently. Never been in there before. But I saw the purse that I wanted a year ago but didn't buy because I don't believe purses should be priced more than a few doctors visits. But at TJ Max it was somewhat reasonable. And would make a perfect diaper bag. Hint hint Don.

I also discovered that I Melissa, am not allowed in these types of places. Because everything seems like such a great deal that I want to buy everything.
I will have you know I didn't buy anything, except a little outfit for Chloe. Which she loves because it has ballet shoes on it. And it is pink. That child is extremely picky about clothes. She hates pants. I told Don that it was so annoying I can't get her to wear pants and he said, ya...I don't know anyone else that hates wearing pants.

And then I realized. My daughter is my spin off. And I cannot judge her distaste for pants since I myself mostly despise them.
Thank goodness for stretch pants.
I do not say thank goodness for stretch pants in my case however, you will never see me in stretch pants. Now before I offend anyone, that me say that I think others look cute with stretch pants, I just think it is a style I will not attempt to pull off.

The story of Old Bony Legs, as told by Chloe with the assistance of myself:

One day at my Dad's house, Chloe was introduced to the story of "Old Bony Legs." It captivated her. Ever since then she asks to be told the story of Old Bony legs 55 trillion times a day. Although, it is not the real story of Old Bony Legs. It is a mismash of stories that she likes to mix together. It makes absolutely no sense, but it is the story that she like me to tell.

Chloe: Tell it, tell it, tell it!
Me: Tell what?
Chloe: Old Bony Legs...and Jasmine!
Me: Okay
Once upon a time, there was a princess named...
Chloe: Jasmine!
Me: Jasmine. And she locked herself in her house.
And then Old bony legs came up to her door and knocked.
And then what happened?
Chloe: Jasmine say, "What are you doing here old Bony legs? Go away away old bony legs!"
Me: "I am just here to say Hi to my friend Jasmine, can I come in?"
And then what happens?
Chloe: Go away old bony legs!
Me: "Go away old bony legs! You just want to come over because you want to eat me!" And then what happens?
Chloe: She stomps her feet, and pulls her hair and pinches her nose! (giggles)
Me: Okay. So then who comes by Chloe?
Chloe: Uh....Ariel come by!
Me: So Ariel comes by and knocks on the door. And Jasmine says, Come in on in Ariel! And then they dance.
Chloe: And then Bony Legs come by again.
Me: Old Bony Legs comes by again, and says ," Can I come in and play?" And what does Jasmine say...
Chloe: Uh her say...her say.... YES!
Me: So Bony Legs came in and they hugged.

The End.
It is a very good story isn't it?
The only variations are the others that come by too. AKA the blue car, the mermaid, or sleeping beauty. Oh, or the corn.
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Chloe went outside one day and shut the door and then knocked.
And I said, who is there?
And she said, "Chloe!"
I said, "Chloe who?"
She said, "Chloe!!"
I said, "I don't know any Chloe's. Chloe who?"
And she replied...
"Chloe Sweetie!!"

And it melted my heart.
She is my sweetie.

The nesting has begun.
I have this insatiable urge to get everything ready, and to dejunk my entire house.
I went through all of the baby clothes yesterday.
And got rather giddy.
Memories of a little squirmy baby came flooding back.
I am getting really, really, really excited.
I still have 3 (and a half, I reluctantly add the half) months to go.
My Dad informed me this labor should go faster and be easier. Hooray!
But then he told me I might go a few days over my due date. Boo.

I realized yesterday pretty much all my 0-3 month onesies are nasty and stained.
I wanted to throw them away. But then Don told me I should keep them because what is the point of buying new non-stained ones when they will be stained the first time she wears them too.
He said I could consider them disposable onesies.
But now I have an excuse to buy a few new little things for her.
I think a new baby deserves at least one new thing to her name, don't you?
Something soft and warm. She will actually need something warm. She will be born in the spring and Chloe was born in the summer. Chloe could get away with a diaper.

Well this is boring.
You can see where my thoughts are.
See I told you I was nesting.
Excuse me I need to go gather some more twigs and leaves.

Wishful Thinking

Dear Don,
I know you like to do your Christmas shopping early.

And I know that you like buying me expensive clothes, because you think that money is well spent on expensive clothes. You think it is a better investment than real estate or fine art, because clothes never go out of style and always increase in value over time. Just like cars and technology. And cell phones. Curse the Razor Cell phone. Oh by the way, I can return it back to China. It will only cost me $26. Hooray.

Anyway, Since I love you,
I have made your life a little easier.

If I was going somewhere fancy, and if I didn't have a protruding belly, I would say go ahead and get me this.

But you can buy me these fancy things because they would fit. And this is a little shout out to my talented friend Leisa. Whom I wish I could afford to buy all her jewelry.

You can go ahead and buy me these shoes.

Or these shoes. I really, really want these shoes.

Why is everything underlined? I don't know how to make it stop.

Well I will keep sending you ideas, I know you will want to buy me more than this because you think I am such an awesome wife. And an awesome Mother. And an awesome cook. And pretty much awesome in all regards. So awesome in fact that I had to underline this all.

Humbly yours,
Melissa

Halloween Part II

Halloween was on Sunday this year which meant we decided to skip the actual trick or treating and instead had dinner at my sister in law Leonore's house. She made some delicious chili and I made some mediocre macaroni and cheese, and I am pretty sure Chloe skipped all the dinner choices and went straight for the "canny." I sort of hate the candy aspect of Halloween. Because it seems for a week all I hear about is candy this, and candy that.



Children however love Halloween, as well they should. Although Chloe needs no excuse to dress up as a princess. This is sort of normal attire.

In other news:
Some of you might remember the sad tale of the demise of my cell phone.
Well I searched far and wide for a good deal on a cell phone.
I thought I had hit the jackpot when I ordered a RAZOR phone on ebay. I thought I was getting a smoking deal because there were 20 other bidders.
I now think they were all planted bids by the employees for the girl I bought it from in China.

I am not all that up on technology and I thought a RAZOR was like the new thing.
Turns out it is like 30 years old.
Okay not really, but it might as well be.
The texting feature on it just about made me insane.
I am assuming it is because the program is 30 years old.
Learning to use the archaic system was like learning how to read braille.
It took me 1o minutes to write "I will call you back."

So I did what any intelligent person would do.
(Besides not buying an old phone on Ebay from China)
I put it on Craigslist.
I am not all that hopeful. I have got some pretty stiff competition.
Which I understand why.
I wonder just home many unfortunate souls were driven to the brink of insanity by the texting features.

Oh, Would any of you like to buy my phone?
$43.
Just let me know.

Yesterday I was about to drive home from my Dad's house.

And I rubbed my eye. And then my contact fell out.

Then my Dad spent 20 minutes telling me not to move as he searched my person for the missing contact.

Which I knew would be like finding a needle in a haystack, especially since it was dark outside.

He ended up having to drive me home. Because I am blind without my contacts.

And you know what, it was pretty awesome. If you are blind too you should try going outside at night and look up at all the street lights. It looks like you are in a big land of giant lollipops. I think f I ever did drugs, this is maybe what my world would look like temporarily.

This is just one small idea for free entertainment.

All that is required is being severely near sighted.

You are welcome.