Triple M & Company

2012-02-10T17:08:00.000-08:00

Chloe: Mom, is the "Land of Dreams" real? (she has been watching a Strawberry Shortcake movie).

Me: No...but dreams are.

Chloe: Well, not without a shooting star.

Me: Well that's true.

Chloe: Mom. I had a really great dream.

I had a really BIG Lollipop.

And a sleeping beauty doll.

(Guess she found a shooting star).

2012-02-08T12:49:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday we had a Birthday/Housewarming/Super Bowl party. Macie turned one on Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday. we thought it would be a good opportunity to have the family over to see our new house. I think it was a success. Macie of course had no idea she was the guest of honor. For her birthday she got a box of tissue and she did get to eat a piece of cake.

I felt emotional about her turning one all last week. Now that it is over I seem to not be so weepy about it. My Macie has been such a gift to me and to our family. I don't know what I did to deserve my sweet girls. There are so many beautiful creations on this planet, but babies and children trump them all. No Grand Canyon or Niagra Falls can compare to my children's smiling faces.

In kid news:

Macie seems to have decided that she hates baths. which is odd. As of two weeks ago she loved bath time. Now every time I bathe her it is like I am trying to bathe a cat. She can't get out of there soon enough.

Chloe found a yogurt top with a picture of a strawberry. she took the lid and glued it to a popsicle stick. Then she told me that she needed a strawberry seed so that she could plant strawberries and then she could stick her popsicle stick in the ground to mark her garden.

I wish her luck in making a strawberry grow here.

2012-02-03T17:40:00.000-08:00

Chloe kept asking me today to help her find her "golden stone."

I thought she was crazy.

And she kept telling me to look in her big toy box where all the forgotten toys get put (and here I think of the poor Velveteen Rabbit and that weird looking baby on Toy Story 3).

I kept trying to change the subject because I just knew that it was not in there (for one thing I had no idea what her "golden stone" looked like, or that such a thing existed) and I did not want to lug the big cardboard box out to rummage through junk.

But if it is one thing that 4 year olds excel at, it is being persistent. I knew she would not drop the subject until I got that gosh darned box down.

And so I did. And lo and behold, there was in fact a golden stone resting beside a dismantled Mrs. Potato Head and half of a broken doll house.

And yet once again I learned this lesson: When Chloe tells me she knows where something is or that she has a certain something or other, or that she wants to wear a certain shirt that I cannot for the life of me picture in my head...I should just believe her. She ALWAYS knows what she is talking about.

Well, when it comes to kid stuff.

DIY: Fail

2012-01-31T10:45:00.000-08:00

I never told you about my Christmas DIY fail.
This past Christmas I went to "The Christmas Idea House." Basically it was a really nice house filled with Christmas decorations you could buy and all the money went to charity.
I saw something like the picture above.
I thought it was cute because I basically like anything with ruffles.
The price tag said $15. And I said to myself, that is so easy. I could totally make that for much cheaper. (By the way, lest you think I am uncharitable, I did buy other stuff there)
So I went to Michaels and found out that a styrofoam cone cost 10 dollars (seriously?). And then the candlestick and cupcake wrappers put me at $20.
And while I think my creation turned out pretty cute, I don't think it is worth $20.
And neither did Don.
So the moral of the story is: sometimes crafting ain't as cheap as it looks.
Just go to Target instead.
But not Anthropologie. That place is just insane.

2012-01-31T08:30:00.000-08:00

Last week we were running a mucas factory here at the Mortensen household. the only reason I am telling you this is....

...to explain this picture. Chloe looked really pathetic with her red eye.Which doesn't quite come out in the picture.

Also last week I decided to finally hem my curtains. Unfortunately numbers have never been my strong point, and I was preplexed when I put my curtains up and found them to be about 5 inches too short.

And I am embarrassed to say how long it took me to figure out what I did wrong. I eventually remedied the problem.

This week I am painting the outside of my house. Because it is 75 degrees. This my friends, is the place to be in January.

Come visit me.

2012-01-30T08:36:00.000-08:00

Macie and Chloe slept in their own respective beds ALL NIGHT.
Tears of joy!!
PS I think poor Macie had a sore throat the night she woke up every hour because the next day she had a cold.

Sleep. Or lack there of.

2012-01-28T06:55:00.000-08:00

I have created a monster. 2 actually. They are very cute monsters. They are sweet wonderful children during the daylight. But something happens when the sun goes down. They turn into creatures from another world. I know I have only myself to blame. Both have been spoiled into thinking they own my bed. In the past year I think only once have both of them stayed in their own bed for the whole night at the same time.
I am trying quite unsuccessfully, to retrain them.
Last night Macie woke up (it seemed) like every half hour. I held strong for most of the night, and then I could not take it anymore. Letting her cry it out that many times was torture. Even with ear plugs.
And then of course Chloe ended up in my room as soon as I gave in and let Macie sleep in my bed.
We thought it might solve the problem of Chloe being scared to go to sleep, if Macie and her shared a room. And it works-until Macie wakes up, waking Chloe up and sending the rest of the night into a game of musical beds.
So I think I first need to solve Macie's problem. And get her sleeping through the night. Which I am not sure how to do. The only thing I can think is to put her in the farthest room away from us and put in the ear plugs. But like I said, she wakes up frequently and she is persistent every time with her crying, it takes a half hour to give in. She is literally crying half the night!
And...she won't take a bottle. Or a pacifier.
This has got to end. We ALL need our sleep!

2012-01-27T08:52:00.000-08:00

Max: Who is Chelsey?

Chloe: She's big. And tall. And always mad.

Max: Oh.

2012-01-26T20:17:00.000-08:00

Today I went with a friend to the AZ Science Center. Chloe's little friend kaylin came along also. The two of them stepped in the elevator and before we (the adults) could join them, the doors closed. Chloe gasped and gave me a look of shock as the door was closing, but there was nothing I could do. I wasn't afraid for their safety or anything, so I found it pretty funny imagining the 2 of them in there. We went from floor to floor to find them, and when I got to the 2nd floor I stepped out and said, "chloe...Chloe." And I heard from the floor below me, "I think she is down here!" I look over the balcony and there is Chloe and her friend sitting on a bench like 2 scared little puppies. They were very happy to see us and I bet this will be one of her memories that sticks with her as this is the first time I think she has really felt lost. My favorite part is that she told the adult who helped them that my name was "Mewissa."

I asked her this evening this question, "What is your favorite thing about your life?" I thought it was a pretty vague question and didn't really expect an answer but I thought her answer was quite heart warming. she said clearly, "Having friends." Yes, having friends is one of my favorite things too.

And for Macie news...she took her first step a few days ago. It has not been repeated, and I am certainly not pushing the issue. I suspect it will be any day now. But she can get around pretty fast crawling so maybe she doesn't feel the need to become 2 footed. One other thing we have discovered about Macie is that she loves, loves, LOVES food. If she sees someone eating, she books her way over to it. She is like a little scavenger and I think can and does eat more than Chloe. Her fascination and delight for food is very entertaining.

Kid Updates

2012-01-19T16:44:00.000-08:00

1. Macie stood up unassisted for a few seconds today. She is getting closer to walking, which I am in NO hurry for. She is already all over the place and could probably get along well with dumpster divers.

2. A conversation I had with Chloe today:

Chloe: Mom-what color are we?

Me: Well, we are white.

Chloe: What??!! No we're not!

Me: Well what color are we then?

Chloe: I don't know. That's a hard color.

Let's see, we're not blue...we're not red...we're not yellow...we're not green...we're not pink...etc.

I know! We are the color of a paint brush!

Me: And what color is that?

Chloe: I don't know. That's a hard color. I've never learned that before.

I should tell her we are a tuscan beige. With spots.

3. She also told me that she needs a "shooting star for her dreams."

And boy I wish I had one of those because that might make putting her to sleep easier. She is afraid to sleep by herself in her room because she is afraid of nightmares. One morning she told me that she dreamed I had eaten bugs. Last night I caught her talking in her sleep carrying on some conversation with her friend Mo. It sounded like, "Mo! Mo! Mo-come here!!!!" Which makes sense, in real life she is also bossing him around.

Every morning I wake up with Chloe and Macie (and Don) in my bed. 4 people in a queen size bed might be nice if we were stranded in a car on a frozen mountain top, but it is not ideal under normal circumstances.

2012-01-12T21:59:00.000-08:00

I think my girls look quite different. And their personalities are quite different as well. This is Chloe at 11 months:

And Macie at 11 months:

So let's take a vote. Who do you think is prettier?

Juuuuuuuust kidding.

They are both scrumdidiliumptious to me.

And here is Chloe at a year, just because I love this picture of her so much.

2012-01-11T07:25:00.000-08:00

Me: Chloe, does your magic wand clean kitchens?
Chloe: No, it's fake.
Me: Oh darn.
Chloe: Brooms clean kitchens?!

She is full of helpful advice.

The circus

2012-01-10T18:17:00.000-08:00

My brother bought us tickets to a small Italian circus for Christmas. It was last Friday night. It was pretty fantastic. It was old fashioned...and clean, and I mean literally and figuratively. Apparently it is a family run circus that hails from Chicago. There were a lot of children that participated, like children climbing to the top of a pole while an adult (Dad?) balanced the pole on his forehead and stomach. Or the children that were flung into the air by an adult's (Dad?) rock solid thighs. It was pretty amazing. So I got to thinking during the circus...so if you are born into this family, do you have to be part of the circus? I mean what if you are afraid of heights? What if you don't like walking or swinging on skinny ropes? What if standing up on a moving horse is not your thing? I would be horrified if I was born into that family. I mean, I am sure they are all lovely people, but 1. I hate heights 2. I am scared of standing up on running horses 3. I don't like to wear leotards that show all my lady assets off 4. I am accident prone. I would most definitely make a poor circus girl. Of course I could always be a clown. Oh wait, that is #5 I hate clowns.

So the clown in the show I finally figured out, was actually the leader/owner/ring leader (whatever you want to call it) , as in, it is his show. But all I kept thinking is, man, this is awesome, all except for the personal space invading clown. I lived in fear that he was going to hand pick me out of the audience and humiliate me. Because he did not take "no" for an answer. He told some guy to do a somersault, and the guy tried to get out of it. He clearly was not comfortable with the idea. But the clown hassled him until he must have realized there was no way out of it. He probably would have made me do a cartwheel. And I would have had to say, "Look, I can't do a cartwheel! Leave me alone already!" Okay, I can do a cartwheel, but would I want to do that in front of 500 people? no sir. But the clown was very nice. I told him nice job at the end and he gave me a genuinely nice hug. Hmm. That does sound creepy, doesn't it.

Well anyway, we had a fabulous time. There were only enough tickets for 3 of us, so Don stayed home with the baby and my Dad bought a ticket there. We were very disappointed to find out they were sold out, but lucky for my Dad someone turned in a few extra tickets at the last minute. My Dad bought it. The ticket said $25 but my Dad gave the ticket lady $40 because he said he didn't mind paying extra for a good show. And then he bought Chloe cotton candy, licorice, popcorn, a balloon, a 10 dollar 4x6 picture (above), and Chelsey a clown doll. And he also made sure to tell the trapeze performer after the show that he really enjoyed the show, but he had been concerned for her safety.

It was a pretty great night.

Christmas Part Dos

2012-01-05T21:30:00.000-08:00

Gee, I wonder who took this picture. Notice a certain someone's feet...I always enjoy finding pictures like this on my camera that lets me know Chloe got a hold of it.

So Christmas was a really nice day. We had church at 9AM which was kind of nice because we didn't have the option to laze around in our pjs all morning (* day). But it made for a rushed morning. We made Chloe hold off on presents until my family showed up at 1:30 PM, which was really hard. It was torture for Chloe. We gave her her stocking when she woke up and she found some little goodies and this dress (above).

When we were driving to church I realized my contact was going haywire. I thought it would work itself out by the time I got there, and I even brought contact solution with me, but it was no use. I had gotten make up on it and it was not coming off. This proved to be somewhat problematic being that I had to play my violin and it is rather difficult to read music when you are blind. So I ran home and put on my glasses instead, which made for a not so relaxing Christmas morning. Luckily that was the only real hiccup, not something like my string breaking.

When we got home from church we started our traditional breakfast. this year I made a German pancake and peach compote, and it was very tasty. Don stuck to his burritos which are always spectacular. And I think we used every dish, pot and pan making our breakfast. And being that is was Christmas, and I don't do dishes on Christmas, the following day I awoke to a very dirty house and a heck of a Christmas hangover, minus the alcohol of course.

This photo belongs on awkwardfamilyphotos.com.

And those are my pictures of actual Christmas. Note to self, get pictures and video from Adam.

Santa was good to all of us this year and I was very proud of myself for wrapping things ahead of time this year.

Chloe's favorite gifts: Pinkalicious Book, Belle barbie, magic wand, pillow pet, princess costumes.

Chloe likes to freeze people with her wand. Don got a mirror and used it to freeze her back. Now that is a scene I wish I had on video.

Chelsey got Wii Mario Kart which I think is all of our favorite Christmas gift.

Don got the game of Pit and a radio. somehow we lost "Pit" after only 2 days of having it. And the radio is going back to Best Buy. sorry Don.

And I got some cute new clothes.

And Macie...well she is a baby so I got her a dress, which was really a present I gave to myself. Because seeing her all dressed up makes me giddy.

Later that day we went over to Julie's house to spend some more time with Denise and Whitney. Chloe wanted to go spend some more time at my Dad's house, so we let her go over there.

It was quite a lovely day. I was really glad we went to church in the morning because it started the day off with the real Christmas spirit. I have felt so much gratitude this holiday season for my countless blessings. I have done nothing to deserve what I have been given and I thank God for all the tangible and intangible things He has given me.

Oh, and back to Christmas Eve, did I mention the crazies in the family jumped in the pool. Wolfgang jumped in too, and he looked like he was going to drown being that he was shocked by the cold water. We all stood there hoping that if he needed to be saved, it was not one of us that had to jump in to do the saving!

I brought Chelsey along, and my in laws did not know she was coming. they handed out cards and cash to all of us, and Chelsey went up to my Mother in law and asked where hers was, my Mother in law said she had forgotten it in the car, or something like that. And she made a card for Chelsey and gave her some money too which I thought was so sweet. I married into a fantastic family.

Last week we intended to either go to a cabin with some of the family or go help with the harvest in St. David but we ended up not doing either. Macie got sick and we were pooped. We were able to relax though and meet up with some old friends. Monday we had a birthday party at Nicole's house. Tuesday we had Spencer and his wife over for dinner and we played a game. wednesday I went out to eat with the Ences and Fullers, Thursday I met up with a friend I have not seen in years (Larissa) and had Pizookies, Friday I fell asleep watching "Midnight In Paris" with Don, Saturday I fell asleep again watching "Sherlock Holmes 2" with Don and rang in the new year in the produce section at Albertsons, and Sunday was Don's 35th birthday and we had the Archers and my siblings over for pie, coco and cinnamon roles. I made Don some green chili burritos. Poor Don. I think having a New Years birthday is a pretty lame day to be born. Everyone is so over partying. It's a good thing he has no expectations for his birthday.

And I think that pretty much covers everything.

Christmas 2011 was great and even though it was really busy, it was a good busy, and I enjoyed the holiday season.

Christmas Part Uno

2012-01-05T10:41:00.000-08:00

Hello Blog. It has been awhile. Well, awhile in Melissa time. We had a really swell Holiday season. And I am more than fine that it is over! I think that there can definitely be too much of a good thing. My very tight pants being a prime example of what happens when you have too much of a good thing. I am happy to be cleaning up my house and organizing things that have been just waiting for my attention. I am very proud of myself that I finally, FINALLY cleaned up my junk drawer. Don is not a fan of my junk drawer. But it reminds me of home. Growing up we had lots of junk drawers. I thought that is what drawers were for. To put random crap in. Like screws and barbie shoes and receipts and things that you have no idea what they belong to, but you fear throwing them away thinking that they must be of some importance, but realizing that you most likely will never figure out what they went to because you never think when you are missing something, "Oh, let me go through that awesome junk drawer." You're welcome for that run on sentence...
Anyway, I finally decided to organize that mess because Don started throwing random junk in there like an old martinell's glass bottle and an old apple core just to prove his dislike of my drawer.

So I am feeling pretty good about myself. It has been like 3 whole days that I have stuck to my New Year's Goals. This year I have some more ambitious goals than last year. Last year I was 9 months pregnant and I remember my goals were to brush and floss my teeth and to get dressed. So really, my goals only could go up from there.

So let's take a trip back in time and reminisce over our month of December. Christmas Eve we went to Kay's house and had delicious Mexican food. This year Don's sister and niece from back East made it out to AZ, so that was a treat to see them. Of course I have no pictures to prove that they were even there.
Chloe could hardly contain her excitement to see her favorite cousin Loma. I was so proud of Chloe. She is really growing up. She was so well behaved and listened quietly as her Grandpa told the Christmas story followed by a quiz for all the kids. The best part was when Wolfgang (who was visiting from back East) answered the first question and opened up his prize of nail files. Not a ten year old boy's first pick, I am sure. His reaction and disappointed face was priceless. Santa also paid a 30 second visit (literally) and her reaction to that was also priceless but of course the camera is never ready to capture those moments, even though in Kodak commercials they make it seem like it is so easy to get it on film. That's probably because it takes 2 minutes for my camera to actually take the picture. And thus the story of my blogging life-technology is always working against me.
We also met the newest Grandchild, Lyla, who is a few months younger than Macie. I am glad Macie will have a cousin to play with when they start caring about things besides food and having their Mommy hold them.
And my Miss Macie Moo is just as charming as ever.
Even though I put strange 3-D flowers on her head.

And of course there were a lot of other fun Christmas celebrations...

(our friends, who came over one night, but I have not seen them since because I guess right after this night my friend became the victim of violent morning sickness)

Our friend Kendall looks like he has 2 wives. What makes this picture even creepier is that the one nuzzling him is his cousin.
That fire, is our new tv. Which we love. And my brother gave us a Roku for Christmas. Internet TV is the best invention ever.

Chloe took this wonderful picture of me. She dressed me too. I believe this was the day after I was viciously attacked by a 24 hour stomach bug (along with at least 70 other people from my ward, and that is no exaggeration). I think I look like a German Body builder named Olga.

Oh and other happenings around here....home improvements have involved putting in pavers in our front and back yard. And....I guess I need to take an after shot. The front yard is quite impressive. For a couple weeks our house looked like we had a moat for a front yard, with peril and dangers crossing your path every step you took. Unfortunately you will have to take my word for it because, well you guessed it, I didn't take a picture. And I painted over those atrocious flowers on our back patio.
The after shot! So beautiful, right? ! Just kidding. Uh, I'll have to get some after shots now.

In other news, I got released from the RS presidency Christmas day. And well, what a fantastic Christmas present.

And Part II of this blog will be coming after Don comes back with the laptop and camera,

2011-12-14T21:48:00.001-08:00

Do you see that sassy pepper button on my side bar??

You should check it out.

My friend is doing a give away. As I previously mentioned. But I am doing it again.

You have many chances to win!

I think you will enjoy this,

2011-12-13T08:25:00.001-08:00

A denim fashion show by RichJuz

This Week In Pictures

2011-12-12T19:22:00.000-08:00

The last week was the busiest week in December. I am glad it is over. I had planned on today getting organized and finally really cleaning my house and getting some personal Christmas stuff done. However I spent the day on the couch watching kid shows with Chloe, being that I spent the entirety of last night puking. It was wretched. Turns out I have heard of at least 20 people from my ward also experiencing the same fate. And poor Don is preemptively drinking gingerale and eating crackers. we had a ward party a couple days ago so I am thinking a nasty little bugger is being passed around. (although it was a ward pot luck, and food poisoning doesn't seem too far fetched of a possibility) Anyway, here are some pictures of my week. Can you believe that these "shoes" are actually sold in Nordstrom? Chloe saw the pink one and instantly threw off her shoes and slipped on the moon boots.

These are in the women's section. Really, does anyone actually wear these? I have never seen anything more hideous in my life.

Here are some pictures from the ward Christmas party:

I want them to get married, They are the cutest pair of kids.

I told macie that if she intends on becoming a professional baby model, she needs to look more fierce. I think she is definitely on the right path.

Last Thursday was the Relief Society Dinner that I was kinda in charge of. It is always a big undertaking but it turned out really nice thanks to the efforts of many, many fantastic and talented women. the pictures don't do it justice, but the ambiance was so beautiful.

The food was really amazing. We had Breaded stuffed chicken with a cranberry orange sauce, rice pilaf, homemade breadsticks, and a spinach salad with fruit and....bacon. And then we had hot coco with homemade peppermint marshmallows, and a dessert bar with lemon bars, cheesecake, mint brownies, sugar cookies, chocolate/caramel pretzels, butter tarts...I am sure I am forgetting something. I think the women really enjoyed the food and that was our goal, for the women to come to a beautiful dinner and eat a delicious meal that they didn't have to cook. and I am not going to lie. Next year I won't mind a bit if I am not in charge!

And here are just some pictures of my bald baby who fills my heart with glee. Except for when I am vomiting and want her to sleep through the night.

2011-12-11T18:30:00.000-08:00

Check out my friend's 12 days of Christmas give away!
http://thesassypepper.blogspot.com/2011/12/on-11th-day-of-christmas.html

Dear Santa

2011-12-06T14:03:00.000-08:00

So far these are the things on Chloe's Christmas list:
Belle Barbie
Big castle that you jump in with princesses on them.
jewelry box for her ring
a princess and a frog doll, but no frog
a star
a heart
Belle dress

And she wants to give:
Santa a wreathe
video game for Chelsey
a lollipop, cake, and sticker for me
and my favorite,
fast roller skates for Don.

Remember how I said macie falls asleep standing up?

2011-12-02T11:38:00.000-08:00

pictures from 3 months ago

2011-12-01T13:15:00.000-08:00

My brother gave me a cd with all the images we took three months ago. some are cute, most make me think I need to lose some weight, and some are funny.

2011-12-01T13:07:00.000-08:00

This is the funniest kiss I have ever seen.

You won't regret watching this.

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-29T18:20:00.000-08:00

Well we had a really great Thanksgiving. And I am not just saying that because that is what you are supposed to say about how your Thanksgiving was. Seriously I don't think it could have been any more perfect. Wait. I take that back. My green bean casserole failed miserably. I didn't think it was possible to ruin something like a green bean casserole, but in fact, it is possible.

We drove down to St. David Thanksgiving morning and then we ate a ridiculous amount of delicious food. Chloe was in heaven as she got to play with her best friend/cousin "Moma." Chloe and Macie both loved getting rides on the quad on pro hauler.

Most of the extended family left in the evening. I convinced my brother in law and nephew and Don that we should go check out Wal Mart's black Friday sale. I thought maybe since it was a small town that it would not be so insane. Well I will say this. There were not people with pepper spray or people beating each other out of 2 dollar waffle makers, but there was way too many people for my sanity, so we left rather quickly. At least I got Black Friday out of my system. No amount of money is worth it to me to have my precious personal space invaded like that. And I often find that money, scarcity, and greed does not tend to bring out the best in people. I wanted to go to the sale because we have been in the market for a t.v and it has proven to be a more difficult decision than picking out names for our children. I thought I didn't care about what kind of t.v we were getting. But apparently I do because I can't make a decision.

awesome picture.
Anyway the day after Thanksgiving we relaxed on the farm and Don and I went for a 2 hour quad ride which was the best part of the trip. I love quad riding. It's like snow mobiling or wave runner-ing which are also fun. But quad riding is better because with snow mobiles you get cold. And with wave runner-ing you run the risk of falling in the ocean. I am not a huge fan of the ocean. I think aquatic creatures are gross.

And now I will tell a story about a blind date I took in college. Somehow I ended up on a blind date with some guy who took me quad riding in the sand dunes near Rexburg, Idaho. I would not recommend getting on the back of a complete stranger on a quad in the dark. There are several dangerous factors to consider, which I am sure I considered back then but felt too awkward to mention that perhaps I was not comfortable with this arrangement. But obviously I survived so....anyway the funny part of the story is I ran into the guy a few months later and I said to him, "Hey you look familiar...how do I know you? Oh ya we went quad riding." So obviously the date went really well. "Remember me? I was attached to your backside for a couple hours?"
That evening everyone left and it was just our family and Don's parents. We rented "Soul Surfer' and watched it with them. It is about a girl who gets her arm eaten by a shark. Chloe asked me every five minutes "why her have no arm." And no matter how many times I told her a shark ate it, it didn't seem to sink in. She asked me if sharks were mean. And I said yes. And then she asked me, "Mom-do sharks have friends? Like mean ones?"

She has recently developed a fear of bees. So her next question really cracked me up: "Mom-what would happen if a bee and a shark met?" I love the way her mind works.

And last but not least, my macie news is 1. she is crawling. Which means I need to baby proof my house very soon. (sob) and 2. she learned how to stand up in her crib. So we lowered the crib and thought would solve the problem of her almost falling out of the crib. Well I put her in her crib the other night and heard her cry off and on for an hour. Finally I couldn't take it anymore so I went to go check on her. The child had fallen asleep standing up. Her head resting over the bar of her crib. It was the saddest and funniest sight. And so this is now her routine. She does not just give up and lay down. So I guess have 2 strong willed children. So now I guess it is in to the pack and play!

And well I think I am caught up. The end.

The World According to Chloe

2011-11-21T07:54:00.000-08:00

I always have a good laugh when I turn on my camera and see Chloe's latest pictorials. Some times she captures something cute (above). But most of the time she captures less than flattering shots of us all.

Chelsey brushing her teeth.

I took this one. Macie fell asleep next to Chelsey.

Okay back to chloe. This one reminds me of the cartoons with the dead frog where they put x's over the eyes.

This one is my favorite. (above)

I love that Macie always looks like she is just along for the ride. She has no control over her life and the strange people who pick her up.

So last week I had Chelsey over for most of the week. We had a good time together. Mostly. Besides her hating my guts every time I turned off the t.v. I told her we should find something else to do. She told me that "she wanted to just watch t.v. because Heavenly Father intended her to be a bump on a log." Yep. that's what she said.

Most of the time I feel very fortunate that I have the opportunity to get to spend all day with these delightful little individuals. And then sometimes I want to drive out to to the desert and just sit there alone for a couple hours to regain my sanity.

Last week I was watching Chloe and her little friend. I saw them climb our little orange tree. And then I watched as her little friend popped herself over the fence to my neighbors yard.

I think that was the same day Macie figured out how to stand up in her crib.

And the day Chelsey yelled at me for an hour and a half straight for turning off the tv.

That day I wanted to go out to the desert and not come back.

Well I sure am excited about Thanksgiving this week.

and black Friday. we are going to join the 21st century and get a flat screen tv.

usually I don't care too much about tv but I have found myself a fan of a few shows this fall:

Parenthood

Revenge

Once Upon A Time

Well that is all I have to say. Except for here is the one picture of Macie on Halloween:

2011-11-16T17:27:00.000-08:00

I seriously cannot believe it is almost Thanksgiving. Macie is over 9 months now and getting better and better at crawling every day. And I feel terrible that I can never remember to get my camera out and record all of her milestones. I brought the camera on Halloween but conveniently the battery went dead the moment I turned it on. So I got one picture of Macie in her flower fairy costume. Which is typical. I think I got only one picture of Chloe in the flower fairy costume 4 years ago.

But Halloween was awesome this year. Chloe is old enough to really get excited about it, and if it is one thing she is motivated by, it is candy. It might have been the best day of her life. Other than the day she was born. But I don't think she remembers that. And actually that probably wasn't very fun for her (or me). She giddily ran the neighborhood streets with her cousin Loma. She complained a few times that her stomach hurt, but she soldiered on. Nothing could deter her from filling up her sack with a week supply of sugar. She told me once with weariness in her voice, "Loma, she sure is a fast girl...."

Earlier in the evening we trick or treated down our street and met some more of our new neighbors. Then we went to my sister in law Leonore's house for chili before taking the kids around the neighborhood. I made 2 dysfunctional pies. Probably the worst pies I have ever made. I was really having an off day in the kitchen.

So hopefully I can figure out how to get a picture of actual Halloween on here...I might have to hack Don's phone.

So last Friday was Veteran's Day. Don told me I should take the kids to the local parade. So I did. The attractions in the parade were basically old people in one of the following 1. retirement village bus (that was probably my favorite since you couldn't even see them because the windows were tinted) 2. the back of a truck 3. On a platform being pulled by a truck. But hey, it was a VETERAN's Parade, and it was definitely a literal representation. And Chloe loved it. She clapped very enthusiastically for all the old people passing by. (oh by the way, lest anyone be confused, I am very grateful for all the Veterans. They truly are heroes. But you know, the parade was funny.)

Anyway for about 15 minutes I was thinking to myself, well this is good old fashioned America fun. (except for when a whiff of cigarette smoke floated into my air space.) Then Macie started crying. So we went to a local sandwich shop and I ordered something very baby friendly: a chicken salad sandwich. Here Macie have some of one of the basic food groups: Mayonnaise.

Well then we walked back to the parade and found a new location to loiter. And all was going well for about oh, 7 minutes at which that time I looked over at Chloe and she was grabbing her derriere and grimacing. So then we made our way back to the sandwich shop and found a one seater bathroom. And that is where we spent the next 25 minutes. It was a lot of fun being the bathroom police and getting to tell people they probably ought to look elsewhere.

And after that I said, well that was really fun. Let's go home.

And the last piece of information I have to share is that we officially sold our old house and it officially is being lived in by someone else. It is so nice to have that thing done with. I think the owners will take good care of our (their) little sweet house.

2011-11-09T21:38:00.000-08:00

It's been another eventful past 2 days with my lovely sister Chelsey.

Yesterday after a whole day of complaining that she really, really wanted to get her video game systems, I finally drove to her house and had her pick up her newly gifted (courtesy of older brother) Game Boy and Super Nintendo.

She carefully packed them in her travel suitcase and I waited in the car.

When she came out she slid into the passenger seat and says:

(audible sigh)
"It sure is a lot of work transporting my video game systems but... (another audible sigh) I can do it."

I wish you could have been a fly on the wall. It was classic.

My Genious Astounds Me

2011-11-09T21:28:00.000-08:00

So I have been browsing online for Ballet pictures for Chloe's bedroom. I came across this one that I really liked:

Well then I said, I need another picture, because there are two beds and I need a picture above each bed. And then I found this one:

And I said, oh that's perfect! There's my 2 pictures and they look sorta the same! But wait, why are they both called "Les Pointes?"
And then a few days later it finally dawned on me.
They are the same.
Doh.

2011-11-04T23:25:00.000-07:00

So awhile back I wrote this post about the time Chloe got Roseola.
Well this week Miss Macie got it. And funny thing is I got confused again.
Like last time she had a fever for three days...and then it looked like she had a sunburn on her face.
And it just so happened I had taken her to the park that day so I figured she had had too much sun.
But then the next day she had a rash all over her back as well, so...
Maybe with the next kid I will clue in faster to the whole Roseola thing.
Poor Macie. She's still a champ. Even with a fever she is as sweet as she can be.

Tonight I went to "Time Out for Women" with a bunch of ladies from my ward. I had a splendid time. And then when we came out, it was raining and it was cold. It was kind of magical. Rain here is a special event. FINALLY some cooler weather. Oh boots, how I missed you.

2011-10-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

So this week was filled with Halloween celebrations. We had a Halloween themed play group at my house. And it was awesome. I love Halloween. Halloween is so much more fun when you have a 4 year old. If you look at the picture above, it is a snapshot into my typical day, minus the party. 1. Macie sits mellowly in her Bumbo. And Chelsey fills up a plate of food. I think she ate for 2 hours straight. I am not even kidding. And she weighs I think 100 pounds. I just don't get it.

Emily looking so spooky.

Then the next day Chloe had dance lessons and they wore their costumes and passed out candy. Of course she found the camera and took self portraits while I was getting her ready.

Okay. Let me just say that I hhhhhhhhhhhhate this wig. I spent 2 hours combing that rats nest and then burning myself with a hot glue gun trying to tame it into a braid and then sewed a nylon inside to keep it on Chloe's head. And all my hard work still resulted in crappy looking wig. I am tempted to dye her hair brown and say you are Rapunzel at the END of the movie. last week Chloe was being uh...tempermental...and as a last resort I said I was throwing her wig away if she did not listen to me. well I ended up throwing it away in the recycle bin. Chloe doesn't know the difference between the blue and the black container. Of course I wasn't really throwing it away and I gave her the chance to earn it back.

Well here's the thing when you are a Mom. You have to stay on top of your stuff because I forgot about the wig and saw that the recycling bin was out on the street for pick up one morning. I frantically ran out my front door and thankfully the big truck had not come yet to take all our goodies away to be turned into other goodies.

Although I think in hindsight, I might not be too disappointed if the wig was taken away. But I think chloe might have been traumatized.

Anyway, the movie 'Tangled" is aptly named. Stupid wig.

Watching these little girls dance is the most entertaining thing I do all week.

One day Macie, you'll get to dance too...

And then I always find these little treats on my camera of Chloe flashing her gang signs.

A Work In Progress

2011-10-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

So I have been busy lately trying to make my house a home and having a fabulous time doing it. Here are some of my latest projects.
Before:
After:
One of the things I loved about this house was it's china cabinet. I have had fun filling it with my Grandma's crystal. I am so happy to have a safe place to display her beautiful goblets. You will also see we painted the kitchen counter grey. yes you can paint countertops.

The old hallway had a mouse chasing cheese and a cat chasing the mouse.

As lovely as the illustrations were...we painted over them.

and I put up a picture wall. Which took me all day. The light fixture is ugly so don't pay attention to that. But I am happy with how the wall turned out.

Then there was the front room:

with the beautiful desert landscape wallpaper. I shed a few tears (of joy) when that was ripped off.

The door was also so pretty.....

There's my Craiglist couches!

The family room. I loved the fireplace in the family room and the open floor plan. It just needed a little jazzing up.

Macie's room:

So there's some little improvements in my house. I still have a long way to go but I am having a swell time spiffing things up a bit!

REALLY old pictures.

2011-10-24T08:31:00.001-07:00

My brother found some really old pictures....Sister pulling me in the wagon.

My smurfs bike.

Chelsey and me at Grandma's house. I must be about 15.

My Mommy...(with Adam)

This one is not so old, Don took Chloe to Skateland a few months ago. I love how Don is always trying to improve Chloe's skills. It's awesome.

2011-10-24T07:49:00.001-07:00

I swear she really doesn't spend that much time in this thing, even though it appears she does by the next few pictures.

Macie's luscious thighs.

Chloe flashing her gang signs. This is how she poses for every picture.

FLO

2011-10-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

Well for once I have a legit Halloween costume. Usually every year I am some half attempted lame thing-like when I was Ursula the sea witch disguised as a human...or a pirate...or an old woman but all I wore was a bath robe (no no, I wore stuff underneath the bathrobe lest you be confused). Anyway I am pretty proud of my costume and it only cost me $2.50. Not too shabby. I just need to get my hair higher in the back.

Apparently Chloe got a hold of the camera.

I can't keep it a secret longer. Macie is a drunk. it is time for an intervention. I guess Chloe took this picture to give her a reality check-she needs to know that her behavior has gotten out of hand. I mean, she slobbers all the time. And can't keep her liquids down and makes up inaudible phrases. And sometimes it gets so bad that she can't make it to the bathroom in time so I have resorted to diapers. Oh and did I mention after she finishes a big bottle, she will just fall asleep on the floor.

I am glad I got Chloe a paper doll sticker book so she could decorate her bedroom door.

2011-10-13T13:40:00.001-07:00

Good News:
1. I can take hot showers again. We thought our water heater was broken and have been taking cold (okay well room temperature, it is 100 degrees today. I love Fall.) showers for the last month. Turns out a pilot light just needed to be re-lit.
2. I finally get to have my stuff from my old house and I am excited to decorate.

Bad News:
1. I think I ruined my perfect baby by having her sleep in my bed every night. Now I REALLY want her to sleep in her crib but she seems to think this is a ridiculous request on my part. She wakes up every half hour and just cries and cries until I can't take it anymore and she ends up back in my bed. Considering placing a warm water bottle next to her with a picture of my face on top.

Funny News:
1. Poor Macie is always mistaken for a boy. The old lady at the grocery store told me yesterday how cute my children were. First she said Chloe was a princess...and then she said, "Oh and he is so cute too. He's just all boy!"
I guess purple pants and a onesie that says "little sister," is not sufficient enough to aid in identifying her gender.
2. Chelsey has spent the better part of a week at my house. I told her today that Chloe has been taking ballet lessons and she said, "Well. I never got to take ballet lessons and now it is too late."
So I said, "it's never too late! You can take ballet lessons, do you want to take ballet lessons?"
And she said emphatically, "No! I am just going to be a tom boy and play video games all day."
And that has pretty much been how most of our conversations have gone this week, just with different subjects.

2011-10-06T20:08:00.001-07:00

A conversation heard from the front seat of my car:
Chelsey: "I don't really want to listen to this."
Chloe: "Well, you can just talk to yourself then."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Went to the grocery store today and Chloe picked out a container of mushrooms and said she really, really wanted it.
Well what Mother turns down the opportunity to introduce a new vegetable to an eager child?
Of course I did realize that the reason she wanted the mushrooms was because it was in a pink Styrofoam container.
She is under the illusion that only wonderful things come in pink packages.
I did warn her that they were a mushroom and did not taste like candy.
But I was naively optimistic that she would like them.
Without me knowing, she took the mushrooms from the grocery bag and stuck one in her mouth.
To say she was highly disappointed is an understatement.
She cried for a good 15 minutes.
But I am not so sure whether she was freaking out about the taste of the mushroom or the booger that she had placed on her skirt that she wanted off immediately.
You know, I don't drink, but today I understood why many people do.

The Perils of Pink Toothbrushes

2011-10-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I was taking a shower, as I sometimes do.

And I was reflecting on the nastiness of the glass shower door and the grime that likes to hang out and fester at the borders of the metal frame supporting the nasty shower door.

No amount of cleaning had yet resulted in any acceptable solution.

So I decided it had to go and face the truth of what lurked below the metal monstrosity.

I got out the screw driver and my cleaning supplies, one of which being an old pink toothbrush that I have used many times to scrub behind faucets and all manner of nastiness.

Well I put the toothbrush on my bathroom counter.

Unfortunately the toothbrush I use to brush my million dollar smile is also pink.

And you can see where this is going.

This morning I made the horrible realization that my teeth cleaning pink toothbrush was tucked away in the drawer, and the cleaning all manner of nastiness pink toothbrush was in the medicine cabinet where I had placed it last night after brushing my teeth.

It is a good thing I did not realize my mistake until this morning as I would have had nightmares last night had I known.

PS Don's favorite joke:

Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas?

Ya because if it was invented somewhere else it would be called a "Teethbrush."

PPS Please don't be offended if you are from Arkansas or like Arkansas or have a cousin or a Father or former President from Arkansas.

2011-09-29T16:12:00.001-07:00

So today Chloe was asking me about jail (long story) and she asked me what it looked like.
I told her it had bars and that you can't get out.
And she said, "Oh like in that show about the Elf and he eats syrup on his spaghetti?"
Yes, I said.
So she said she wanted to watch "Elf."
So we watch Elf and then she wants to know exactly "how" Santa can fit down the chimney.
And I told her, he just does.
And she said, "Because he has Christmas magic?"

Yes. Because he has Christmas magic.

2011-09-26T12:01:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I was curling my hair when I noticed a large red mark on the back of Macie's head. Of course my first thought was what did Chloe do. So I asked Chloe.
I thought she bit the back of her head. She said she didn't. Then I wondered if I had burned her head with my curling iron. But I thought surely she would have cried.
Well then Don came home and I showed him. He knew exactly what happened. He should have been a detective. In fact we jested the other week after some friends moved to Hawaii with the FBI, that he should join the FBI.
Then he pointed out that not everyone gets sent to Hawaii. And we could end up some place horrible like Paris or London. Just kidding. I would not mind living in Paris or London. But with our luck we would probably end up in some dusty little desert town named Tumbleweed or something. I can handle living in a big city in the desert. But a dusty desert town...not a chance.
I digress.
Well Don asked Chloe, "Did you drag her across the carpet?"
And she said "Yes. Four times!"
My poor little Macie. Bald and scarred.
Miss Macie is almost 8 months which I can't believe. She rolls around but that's about it. Which I am okay with. I am not in a hurry for her to be mobile. In fact I have taken to binding her feet. This will make her feet small and dainty like, also make it so she can't walk. Double win.
I thought this story fit in nicely with all the other abuse poor Macie has been afflicted with as of late.
In other news I completed a project. With the help of my friend (A LOT of help) I sewed this roman blind for my kitchen window. So I have something pretty to look at while I do one of my favorite things: dishes. It was nice to get something pretty up. All my paintings and decorations are at the old house still.

Hmm. It doesn't look very impressive. I guess I'll never fit into the online world of Domestic Blogging Goddesses.

Now that is what I call photogenic.

2011-09-18T14:50:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday I asked my brother to take some pictures. He so kindly agreed.

I scrambled to find stuff for us to wear and now that I see how I looked in my outfit, I wished I had scrambled a little longer.

By the time we finally got dressed and out the door we noticed a large haboob (aka huge dust cloud) was headed our way.

We had 5 minutes to snap some shots. You can see in the background the impending doom.

Also, we look terrible.

2011-09-11T22:15:00.001-07:00

Today was the 10th anniversary of a horrific day in American history.
I looked at my babies today and felt astonished realizing that this day in history will probably seem to them like Pearl Harbor day seems to me: an important date in history, but lacking any real personal attachment.

I have forgotten what happened that day. Who really wants to remember? Watching the footage, it is just as painful now as it was back then. Maybe even more painful being that I have children. I still find myself hearing these stories that I have heard before...just hoping there is a different outcome...perhaps this time, the passengers will be able to take control of the plane and make it back home to their little children safe and sound. But of course the accounts always end the same. And every time, I am shocked by the devastating outcomes.

It might seem morbid to focus on such a distressing event, but every once in awhile we need to remember because we learned something back then that somehow we keep forgetting: The only things that really matter are Family, Faith, Friends and Freedom. And that good will always triumph over evil.
I believe in the goodness of people and I believe in the goodness of America.
God bless America.

2011-09-08T22:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I like to make up nonsense songs while I am cleaning. I think I get it from Chloe. Or rather she gets it from me. Or maybe that is just what everyone does but nobody admits to it in public.
Chelsey heard me do it the other day. She told me, "That's a good song. But I wouldn't recommend singing it to anyone else."
I thought that was very constructive criticism.
Done. I will never sing that song to anyone else.
Mostly because I cannot remember any of the lyrics.

Today was Chloe's first day ever of dance lessons. I brought my camera and was going to take a video. But...being that she and her friend decided to be the class clowns, I became distracted (mortified) and failed to.

The teacher was very sweet afterwards and told me, "I was impressed with this being her first time. She did very well."

Um....were we watching the same kid? Because I am pretty sure they were making up their own twirling routines in the back of the classroom.
But apparently Chloe learned something as she demonstrated her tap"Shuffle stop." In the pool.
Which by the way, question (s).
1. why are tap shoes so expensive?
2. Why do children still learn tap? It seems a useless dance.
I mean all the tappers on "So You Think You Can Dance" get voted off the first week. I guess the judges are trying to give tap a come back, but it is just not happening.
It just seems sad for someone to be really good at tap because no one really cares.
It is like winning the Olympic Gold medal in Synchronize swimming. So you are good at Synchronize swimming-you ain't ever going to get on a box of Wheaties.
But I suppose this is a bad attitude and I should be supporting these endeavors based on personal fulfillment, not on whether or not they prove impressive or interesting to spectators.
The end. On that subject.

People are always thinking Macie is a boy. I just can't understand why. Oh. Maybe it is because she is bald and is in a black and blue car seat. She is the most delectable baby. And every time she sees me pull out a plastic container of orange mush, she gets very excited. She enjoys meal time, as do I.

PS I am glad I actually did Chloe's hair for dance lessons. There are some hardcore Moms in there.

2011-08-31T13:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a big milestone in Chloe's life. She swam across the entire length of the pool. (applause) It took a little bribing, but we can give a little sigh knowing that she is basically pool safe. I was not sure she was going to be able to swim by the end of this summer. She had some issues with putting her head under water and jumping in. Actually, I think she is still opposed to jumping in.

Chelsey was over here yesterday and after dinner we all went swimming.
Chelsey declined at first, "Um Melissa, you aren't supposed to go swimming for an hour after you eat."
Well she put her swimming suit on and came out anyway and put her feet in the pool.
Once again I implored her to get in and once again she told me about her no swimming policy.
So then I explained to her the reason behind that policy and that if you just sit in the pool you won't get a cramp, you have to "exercise" to get a cramp.
So she got in.

Well then I told Chloe that if she could swim across the pool I would buy her the Rapunzel dress she has been lusting over ever since she saw it at Target.
It is pink. It is glittery. And it has Rapunzel on it.
I swore before I had children that I would never buy anything with characters on it.
And now that I have children I am a big sucker because it is so fun to see their reaction.
Plus, I just want her to get dressed.
And the only think she likes are pink skirts and dresses. And that is about it.

So Chelsey was just floating around on her funnoodle and Chloe was practicing for her big event and I asked Chelsey if she could swim with Chloe and show her how to do it.

Chelsey told me she wouldn't because of her no exercising for an hour after eating policy. But I guess she figured floating around on her funnoodle was not dangerous.
Silly me, how could I forget.

Well at any rate Chloe accomplished the feat after a little practice and she won her Rapunzel dress. I had to try 2 different Targets to find it and not a moment too soon. The dress was on the clearance rack and it would have been a tragedy if I could not find that darn dress.
So here it is in all of it's overpriced Disney brand glory:

And well Macie is accomplishing all her goals too. She is almost 7 months : ( and she is doing very well at her tasks: sleeping, pooping, and eating.

Her favorite foods so far are sweet potatoes and mixed fruit puree.

I have to concur. I quite enjoy the mixed fruit puree.

Not as good as the crepes filled with chocolate, banana and coconut I had the other day, but still...not too shabby.

Changing subjects:

Also, the other day Chelsey got me in trouble.

I was telling a friend about how my Dad likes to eat really bland food.

And Chelsey was there.

Well a couple days later my Dad says to me, "Melissa, Chelsey is getting you in trouble. She told me what you said about me."

And then he repeated verbatim what I had told my friend.

Good thing my Dad is good natured and thought it was funny.

Well that night I made my family dinner because my sister was in town.

My Dad went to the store and brought me all the ingredients for the dinner.

And then I see him pull some white chocolate and raspberry frozen yogurt from the bag and says, "Well I thought I would try something a little more exciting."

Moral of the story: Sometimes gossip is productive.

The End.

The Mortensen's Go Camping

2011-08-26T09:20:00.000-07:00

So growing up my family didn't really go "Camping." I mean we went trailer camping, but not camping, camping. When I was 17 we took a 3 week trip across the United States in a motor home.
We rented the motor home and the sales guy was good. He told us that travelling with the family in a motor home would bring us closer together and that we would meet lots of great people at the campgrounds and that the fellow motor homers would invite us in for cherry pie.
We never got any cherry pie unfortunately. And as I recall when we returned home none of us talked to each other for the next 2 weeks.

Some families shouldn't go on 3 week motor home trips together.
Probably most families.

Last month we went on a church campout and I helped set up the tent. Something that I am a novice at. I was surprised at how easy it was. And I said to myself, "Hey! We should go camping more often! This tent thing is super fun!"

So this month we had another church campout, this time it was training camp for scouts and the whole family was invited. I was extremely excited to get away from the incessant heat. We had a ball but it rained when it was time to put the tent away and then I said to myself, "Hmmm. Maybe we shouldn't go camping more often."
Or I need to make myself scarce when it is time to clean up.
"Oh sorry Don, I just need to go sit in the car and feed the baby. I can't help. Good luck with the muddy tarp"

Just kidding Don.

Chloe participated in some rocket launching. I knew we had a rocket scientist in the making. As a descendant of 2 brilliant minds, our daughter was sure to be a genious. Wait-how do you spell genoius again?
After our campout we stayed at our friend's cabin. We are sad, it is being sold this week and we will no longer have access to that little piece of paradise. Our friends Richard and Julie came up and we had dinner together and played games. They don't have any kids yet. I think we successfully convinced them not too. They were good sports to hang out with us and our put up with our sporadic conversations.
"So the other day.... PUT THAT DOWN CHLOE....we went to the grocery...CHLOE GET AWAY FROM THE DEAD MOUSE....wait what was I saying?"

Chloe was also introduced to a little something people call "rain." We have been told it is wet and comes from the sky. Turns out the descriptions were true. It was in fact wet and did come from the sky. And she finally got to use her "burella."

And now to my favorite story of the trip. On the way up, we stopped in Payson for dinner. Don made my life and said we should stop at the local Chinese Buffet. Hooray! Every time we go through Payson I tell Don that my family used to eat there as we were travelling through on family trips.

So we get out and there is Chinese woman running the show and she is very, very, VERY friendly, as I find most Chinese people at Chinese restaurants are.

She looks at my baby who was dressed in purple (note to self:purple tends to be a gender confusing color. Too close to blue. Stick to pink.)

and says, "Is a boy, righ?"

And I said, "No, actually a girl."

And she said, "Oh...oh...he have big head! Very smart!"

Um, thank you?

The best memory of the trip was Chloe walking around in a circle and making Macie laugh hysterically. That was the first time I have heard Macie laugh like that. It was pure joy.

Chinese buffet+funny lady+Macie and Chloe laughing+Don= Best night I have had in a long while.

As we left the restaurant, Don said, "Well I could say that is either the best chinese buffet I've ever had in Payson...or the worst Chinese buffet in Phoenix."

Touche.

Just a lot of this and that.

2011-08-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

I have no idea how it got to be the end of August. And I have no idea how Macie got to be 6 + months old. My blogging has been greatly deterred by compounding technical difficulties. It seems things mostly work, but the one thing that I need to work doesn't. I am tempted to make my usual lists (I love lists. Not doing the lists. Just making the lists. I am an OCD list maker but an UALD (that is my acronym I just made up for "under achiever list do-er.) But I will spare you the details. Although note to self: Get CD slot fixed, internet working on laptop, camera downloading pictures correctly, and figure out why blogger hates my laptop. Look at how sneaky I was...I still jammed my list in there.

Also, many of you know my continual cell phone issues. My old old old phone finally bit the dust. It worked except for the screen was blank which means it basically was useless. I would hear a little beep that I got a text and then I would sigh to myself and wonder what fascinating piece of information I was missing out on.
Well when my old old old phone finally surrendered the ghost, I was forced to use my old crap razor phone. And you know what, I was getting pretty good with the archaic texting format. But then guess what happened today.
I dropped the phone.
And guess what. Now the screen on my old crap razor phone doesn't work.
And once again I find myself hearing the familiar beeping sound of a lovely text waiting for me in the wings, and I am unable to access it.
So basically now I am out of old crap phones and I have to find one that actually works.
Boo.

But this is neither here nor there, so who cares really?
On to the important things in life.
Me.
Just kidding.
I mean my kids.
My main purpose of this blog is for record keeping for my little ducklings and I feel bad that I have not been putting any pictures of them on here. (Although, not my fault. See first paragraph.)
I just have to say that Macie should be cloned. I do not know where this baby came from. Apparently the quiet and mellow section of heaven. They probably spent their days listening to the angel choir rehearse. I am pretty sure Chloe came from the section where they endlessly bounced on clouds and never ever took a break. And I love and appreciate them both for their uniqueness. It is quite amazing how 2 children with the same parents can be so different.

Chloe is a blossoming photographer. She really knows how to make me look great.
Hmmmm...looks like something is in the bag. I ...wonder...what...it...could...be....

Chloe's all time favorite photo pose.
She has been sleeping in her tent since we moved into our new place. We still don't have our furniture. At first I hated the bareness of it all. But now I am really loving it. In fact I love the minimalness of my house. It is so easy to clean and the simplicity of it is very calming. And I feel like I have so much space. I don't want to ruin it by bringing back my furniture. So when I do get my stuff, I am going to try to really make the space uncluttered and simple. The best part about it is there are no toys in the main part of my house. They forever more are staying in the bedrooms.

2011-08-16T23:00:00.000-07:00

So I made these ballet shoes with fake crystals on them for Chloe's ballet themed room. If the ballet themed room ever happens.
Chloe is pretty much obsessed with them.
Well my friend was so kind as to give me some more of these fake craft crystals for my little project and I think Chloe took (and lost) them all.
Chloe told me they were "angels."
She also told Chelsey, "Hey Chelsey! You wanna see my angels?"
And Chelsey said, "No. No, not really."
And I said, "Come on Chelsey...she really wants to show them to you."
And Chelsey said, "grrrr. Fine."
And then she saw them and said, "Those aren't angels! Those are just tiny little plastic things!"

2011-08-15T17:47:00.001-07:00

I have soooooo many friends that I think would appreciate this unique gift. First one to comment I will buy and send to you!! Perfect for your nursery!

p.s. No. I am not really going to buy this and send it to you. I think this would scare your baby.

2011-08-11T21:55:00.000-07:00

Things that happened this week:
Chloe learned how to swim without her floaties.
I think she saw her friend Teagan do it so she was motivated to be able to do it too.

Macie ate food for the first time.
Rice cereal and pureed bananas.
I think she really, really loved it.
Really. What's not to love?

And that's pretty much it.

2011-08-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

The last two days in a row, Chloe has been wearing a pink sweater that she begged me to get out of storage.
Nevermind it is 145 degrees outside.
Today she wanted her ballet shirt to wear underneath, also long sleeved.
So she wore a long sleeved shirt and a sweater.
Nevermind it is 145 degrees outside.

Tonight we took her to DI and I think she found her idea of heaven. The aisle of misfit toys and the row of cheap baskets proved to be her favorites.
Of course she found a pink and flower basket to stash the doll that she instantly fell in love with (and named Chloe, by the way).
Don and I both tried to talk her out of the doll. Visions of germs and boogies racing through our minds.
But she saw a diamond in the rough with Chloe 2.0 and now Chloe 2.0 is getting a thorough wash in my washing machine.
We also came home with a few stellar VHS tapes.
So DI= winning.
I looked at the doll in the backseat as we were driving home, and I told Don that it was like "Toy Story" and that the doll was probably ecstatic that she had a new home and that she was saved from the sad and lonely days at the thrift store.
Don told me that was ridiculous and that dolls don't have souls.
What does he know.
Chloe totally agrees with me.
Both Chloe's (remember, I have 2 now).

Other news:
I watched Dateline last night. Like I usually do on Friday nights. And it did not disappoint. And then this morning I wrote a letter to a man in prison. Who, after watching a 2 hour special, I have determined was falsely accused and imprisoned.
I would make an excellent juror.
I hope he gets out.
Being falsely accused= Losing. Big time.

Also:
Macie turned 6 months yesterday.
: (
and
: )
at the same time.
She is rolling all over the place.
And continues to be the best baby on the planet earth.
I think I am going to start solids soon. If I can find my camera. Because I want to get that on film....which might be a problem because:

Also:
I lost my camera cord.
What else is new. Can't find anything. So can't post any pictures right now.

Also:
I watched "So You Think You Can Dance" with Chloe and she kept asking me questions like:
"Does that girl like that boy?" (because a boy and a girl were dancing together)
"Does that girl not like boys?" (because she was dancing alone)
"That girl shouldn't wear that. It shows her boobies."
And now she keeps asking me to watch the "weird dance." A hip hop number to the song "Dungeon Dragon."
Which means nothing unless you know the "song" or the dance.
But anyway, she tells me often, "Mommy-I wanna watch the dungeon dragon one."
And I think that I can no longer watch SYTYCD with my 4 year old.

2011-08-01T12:41:00.000-07:00

So yesterday Chelsey told me she sent in her audition video to be the 5th Wiggle. Apparently the Wiggles are having a contest.

I think I can safely say Chelsey is the Wiggles biggest and most loyal fan. 3 year olds got nothin' on her.

2011-07-28T20:12:00.000-07:00

House Log
Entry 1

Spent the last 2 days cleaning grout.
Feel a lot better about life being able to look at my tile without abhorrence.
Note: The Shark steamer is really as fantastic as the infomercial says...see if I can get paid to be on their commercial to endorse product.
Also, oxyclean rocks and Bissel wet vacuum.

Cleaned the shower.
Looked no better afterwards.
Need to figure out how to fix discolored caulking that our shower is covered in.
Thank you previous occupants who put in a white tiled shower which is currently the bane of my existence.
One should not feel dirtier after showering.
Fix nasty shower-tomorrow's goal.
Also tomorrow, hide half of Chloe's toys. Her room has doubled in size as well as the mess.

captain out.

2011-07-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

We moved.
Finally.
When you move into a "new" house, you realize all the things that don't work.
And by golly there are a lot of things that don't work.
It makes me sad. : (
Our old house was a fix up too.
We gave it a new kitchen and new bathroom and a new backyard and front yard and new appliances.
I forgot what it is like to move into a fix up.
And my heart hurts a little for my cute little old house.

I have started a list of things that do not work. It makes me want to cry a few little tears. After I shed a few little tears, I will remember that there are starving children and children in orphanages and that puts things into perspective. So I will be grateful. I will. Nevertheless....
-water heater
-microwave
-2 burners on the stove
-dishwasher (thankfully that was figured out although it is archaic)
-oven has no racks
- decrepit bathtub that does not drain
-only one outlet in kitchen
-air conditioning in laundry room
-water/ice in refrigerator
-kitchen faucet
-cell phone
-Chloe's ear

Well that list does not look so long when I write it down.
But when 80% of your kitchen and 50% of your bathrooms don't work, it seems like a lot more.

And to end on a positive note...
uh...
Macie has a crib to sleep in now.
And she sleeps in it very well.

2011-07-21T20:48:00.000-07:00

Summer colds should be illegal.
I hereby announce my petition to outlaw summer colds.
Please sign your name in my comment section and I will speedily turn it into the powers that be.
Course it will probably take years to become a law, but that's okay. At least I know that someday, summer colds will be illegal and one day our children will not have to suffer from the ravages of congestion.

My little Macie has had 2 colds in the space of 2 weeks.
The current one is a nasty little thing.
Poor Macie is feverish and has a goopy eye.
But she still manages to smile and be overall angelic.
I am sorry to inform you pregnant gals that I got the best baby from heaven and all you pregnant ladies out there are out of luck.

Of course I am just kidding as in all babies deserve an enthusiastic thumbs up.
But it goes without saying that I am a tad partial to my own posterity.

In Chloe news she has been saying some amusing things as usual.
*She found a hanger in the car and told me she had found a "hooker."

*One morning she woke up with her leg asleep, at least I am assuming that is what happened, because she told me, "Mommy! My leg is sparkly!"
By the way, it is really freaky when you wake up and a whole appendage is asleep. That happened to me recently. My entire arm was dead and it woke me up from my slumber and I had to take my other arm and use it to shake the other arm back to life. It was weird.

Well. That's all folks.

2011-07-17T22:26:00.000-07:00

Does it seem like I am blogging a lot? Ya I think so too. That's because I have laundry to fold and dishes to put away.
So I am doing what a go get 'em ,type -A personality does-I am watching You Tube Videos.
Thanks to my friend Heather C. for introducing me to this guy's videos. He has a billion of them. These are just a couple of them that made me laugh.
Oh also, Don has scout camp this week. Hooray.
But good news. He is no longer the Scout Master. So I will be getting my husband back. No more monthly campouts or week long summer camp.
And this year, he is just going for one day to help get everything set up for the people taking his spot.
One time he went to scout camp when Chloe was 2 weeks old.
And I have never let him live that one down. (although with time, I have realized it wasn't entirely his fault being that neither of us were fully aware what it meant to have a newborn and that it is not a swell idea to leave a hormonal , post partum, first time mother alone for a week)
Ever since then, me and scout camp have not been on great terms.
But I love Don.
The end.

Marvelous Macie 5 months

2011-07-17T19:06:00.000-07:00

2011-07-16T14:50:00.000-07:00

Have you seen this man?
25% white 75% Hispanic male
175 pds (6 years ago, current weight undisclosed)
Goes by the name "Don."
Please call Phoenix Police.

2011-07-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

I think I have decided that I need either 1. patience pills or 2. I need to start pounding the pavement. As in running, not like pounding it with my fist. That would not be too smart. Then I would break my fist. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to be a Mom, but man....some days I ask myself, "is this what I was born to do?"

We have been taking swimming lessons but chloe decided this week for some reason, that she is terrified of jumping off the side into the water.

This throws a wrench in our plans for her to become the female version of Michael Phelps.

So every morning our conversation goes something like this:

Me: Yay! It's time for swimming lessons. Let's get ready!

Chloe: But Mom, I don't wanna go to swimming wessons. I don't wanna jump in da pool. I just wanna swide in.

Me: How about an ice cream cone afterwards!

chloe: No...I just don't wanna jump in! You tell my teacher I not going to jump in!!

Me: But Chloe, you've done it before...it's not scary!

Chloe: No! No! No!

....

Me: Well which bathing suit are you going to wear? How about your pink one.

chloe: No!! I wear my Dora swimsuit! My fwend in my class, she not wear her pink one anymo.

Me: Just cause your friend doesn't wear her pink one, doesn't mean you can't wear yours. And Chloe, the Dora one is dirty.

Chloe: You go wook in da dirty cwothes for me? c'mone Momma. Les go.

....

Me: Chloe let's put sunblock on.

Chloe: No. I do it myself.

Me: Okay. Let me help you.

Chloe: No! I do it myself.

Me: Okay. Make sure you put it on your face.

Chloe: I did.

Me: Uh....no you didn't.

.....

On the flip side, she is also very endearing.
She has found a kindred spirit in her friend Bella.
They are what I would describe as rough and tough princesses.
It has been really nice because my friend and I have been switching off hosting.
And the girls just play and play and we are able to get some stuff done.
My friend and I are both in the process of moving (uh yes, we are still moving)
Don't ask.
I had Bella over the other day and they played for 8 hours straight.

Oh and on a completely other topic...here are some more pictures of my Reunion Choir Concert.

2011-07-12T16:28:00.000-07:00

Dear whomever-
I don't think whomever is a word, but nevermind.
Could whomever is in charge, please, PLEASE stop reporting on Kate Middleton and the Prince. And also Pippa.
I am tired of looking at her gorgeous legs. And her never ending supply of expensive dresses.
And her long flowing hair.
And watching her step out of a private jet.
And I am tired of hearing about her sister's fantastic backside.
And pray tell, how is that fair, that not only do they have long brown hair, but also tan skin? Especially since they live in England.
I want to be a Princess. I want to embark on a "good will tour", or rather a vacation where I have everything paid for and get to go to a party every day and have a new party dress for every party.
I want to be a size 2 and have legs the length of California.
I want to be able to get away with wearing little hats.
I want to have a fancy little accent.

Also, I want to stop hearing about Victoria Beckam having a baby girl and how much money she is spending on clothing and housing that poor child.
Again, enough with the English already.
I thought we broke away from them years ago.

That is all I have to say on this matter.
Sincerely,
Boring old American Melissa

2011-07-05T10:28:00.000-07:00

It took me an hour to download these pictures. This is a new computer too. I am very confused. But darnit, I was determined. Chloe is at her grandparent's for the week. I miss my Chloe. But I intend to do some deep cleaning while she is gone. I have been finding little drawings on many of my walls. All of the same thing. A person that looks like an alien. Oh to be inside that child's head for a day....

Yesterday was the 4th of July and I forgot to take any pictures. But I am somewhat grateful because that would have probably taken another hour to download those. we had planned on going south for a small town fireworks show, but the state of Arizona is on fire so it was cancelled. Boo. But we had a great day nonetheless. We went to our church's pancake breakfast and I was extremely grateful for shade and a breeze. My friend and I sang a little "My Country Tis of Thee" and started out on the wrong notes. I sure love embarrassing moments like these. And by the end of the song both of our children were standing in front of us.

Chloe's little friend to which I am referring is "Mo." And the two of them are the most hilarious pair. They are like an old married couple. Chloe is the bossy, domineering wife, and Mo is along for the ride. Literally. Most times I find them, Chloe is pulling in him in a wagon, or doing all the work on the teeter totter. And both of them are quite happy with their roles.

The other day I was babysitting and this was their idea for entertainment. It started out with this conversation:
Mo: "She's naked! She needs some clothes!"
Chloe: "Let's tape her to the wall! Then she won't be naked!"

Something like that. It was in 4 year old language.

And then they taped every toy they could find to the wall.

That night as I was laying in bed, I kept hearing a kerplunk. And I kept thinking someone was trying to break into my house. Silly me. It was just the toys falling off the wall. One by one.

Dad's Birthday was on July 2nd, and I asked him what he wanted to do. He said "oh, well we could maybe have a bowl of ice cream."

Before or after we watch CSPAN?

I said, really? That is all you want to do? So then he said maybe we could have some sandwiches or spaghetti.

Well my brother and I tried to think of some way to sparkle things up a bit because eating a sandwich for your birthday sounded really, really lame.

Well my brother saved the day and brought me back some groceries and we made a spaghetti dinner. And by the way, not to toot my own horn, (okay I am going to toot it) but my Dad said it was the best spaghetti he had had in a really long time.

My brother made a pineapple upside cake and Chloe was his sou chef. She insisted on doing everything and my brother was oh so kind to oblige. It took twice as long to make but Chloe loved it.

I think my Dad enjoyed his Birthday dinner and I think it was celebrated in proper Birthday fashion.

June 29th we celebrated Adam's birthday, and where in the world is Adam the birthday boy in this picture? We went out for....wait for it....spaghetti!! sigh.

And then came back to my house for cake.

And here are some catch up pictures:

Dear Macie, you get your thighs from me. you're welcome.

Chloe at her gymnastics "Showcase for the Stars." More like "Showcase of indifference towards following directions."

Chloe's very last minute Birthday party.

Clearly to her, a party is a party, no matter how last minute! And this is why I love children.

I had to take a picture after church because I had inadvertently put us all in coordinating colors. And Don matched too! But he refused to get in the picture. Also, we needed someone to take the picture. I am glad we took a picture because as you can see, it came out really well.

2011-07-02T11:35:00.000-07:00

Today it is supposed to be 117 degrees. I stepped 2 feet out of my house to get the mail, and decided right then and there that I would not be setting foot outside my house until most likely October. So if you would like to see me in person, please call and make an appointment. Or you can just drop by. Because like I said, I intend to not leave until Halloween.

Today is my Dad's birthday. He is the big 7-0. I can't believe it. My Dad is perpetually 40 in my eyes. I am always shocked when I find out someone I consider to be uh, elderly, is the same age as my Dad. Like the wonderful little old lady I know who is the samples lady at Costco. She is the same age as my Dad! How is this possible? But my Dad does not act 70, he likes naps, but he has ALWAYS liked naps so I don't think that is an age thing. He also still has brown hair. And he also still goes to work, doing surgeries and working at the County Medical Clinic, working 8 hour days. Don's parents are the same way. Don's parents work harder than us, hands down. Well harder than me. Don amazes me too. He is literally hauling dirt right now. 3 tons of dirt to be exact. But I couldn't go help. Because I have a lot to do. Like blogging. Someone's gotta blog, you know! Blogging doesn't just do itself, now does it?

My little Macie Moo is almost 5 months. And she is a dream baby. She hardly cries. You just look at her and she smiles.

And my Chloe continues to amuse and bewilder me. It seems she changes her obsessions daily. Now it seems she has found a liking to making forts in her bedroom and choosing to sleep on the floor instead of her bed. Yesterday I took her to Target and she wore blue stretch pants, a hot pink skirt, a purple polka dot shirt, a dark pink shrug, and two hats. And under one of the hats she put 2 small bottles of hand sanitizer. Also she found my bra yesterday and told me she had found my boo boo shells.

Well I tried to download some pictures but I give up. I shall try again later.

Mr. Evans Retires

2011-06-27T16:00:00.000-07:00

What have I been up to lately?
1. Sweating to death while Chloe takes swimming lessons.
2. "Trying" to move.
3. Celebrating Brother's Birthday.
4. Celebrating Father's Day. (I made some delicious pasta and strawberry cheesecake parfaits. Which reminds me, I really need to share that link.)
5. Getting really nostalgic.

I am now going to talk about # 5.

This past weekend, my sister flew into town, and all 3 of the Mott sisters participated in a grand retirement concert for our wonderful Mr. Evans, who retired after 30 years of teaching.

so the deal is, choir was kind of my life in High School. And I love to sing. Doing this concert brought back so many memories and feelings. Standing on that stage and singing....brought me back to more than a decade earlier, and of course I always end up thinking about my Mom, and imagine how more than a decade ago she was in the audience and sewing our costumes.

Chelsey has been looking forward to this ever since she found out about it 3 months ago. I think she had a good time, but when asked how she liked it afterwards, she replied that she doesn't think she will sing in a choir anymore because she doesn't like singing next to people she doesn't know. I told her she could sing next to me, but she said she sings alto, not soprano. I have sung by her before and it is quite entertaining. She sings quite loudly. And somewhat off key. But I think it is the greatest that she participated and I know my Mom was happy too.

Oh by the way, this guy sang. And he is on Broadway now. He is pretty legit. And amazingly talented. google him. "Anthony Galde." I did and I found an article on him from high school entitled "There's a new ladies man in town!" Well the ladies love him but I am pretty sure he does not love the ladies in that sorta way.

I of course made some lame compliment when I ran into him afterwards, like I usually do when I talk to anyone famous or very talented. But he was very, very nice.
I kind of love this picture for several reasons.

Oh here are some pictures from my actual high school choir days.
Our dresses were so...um....risque?

It was so much fun to sing again and celebrate my teacher who made such an impact on so many of our lives. How cool to see that what you spent 30 years of your life doing, really changed people's lives for the better.

2011-06-14T07:04:00.000-07:00

Chloe asked me yesterday why the park with the big field was once again filled with water. I told her because the grass needs water to make it grow.
And she said, "Ohhhhh...if there no water, cactus grow?"
I don't know where she got the smart genes.

Sunday afternoon she wanted to have a fake picnic. She put a blanket down in my room and got out her supplies. I stayed for a few minutes and then got up to do something else. She said, "How about Macie come to my picnic?"
So I laid Macie on the blanket. I walked by the room later to see Chloe feeding Chloe a plastic chicken.
I laughed.
Then a few minutes later, I heard Macie crying.
I went in to check, and Macie had lollipop residue on her face.
I guess Chloe resorted to real food after the chicken.

The Day Melissa Got Suckered

2011-06-13T16:18:00.000-07:00

so remember how I said I got suckered into buying some pictures because they were too perfect? Well here they are. I intended to just get my free 5x7 but I loved all of them. Man. They sure are smart, suckering Moms by taking cute pictures of their kids. They know Moms can't say no to these smiling faces. Do you blame me??

Shots and Swimming

2011-06-11T10:32:00.000-07:00

Chloe:
"Mom! Why Dad get bwack wicorice? I have red hair! I need wed wicorice!"
translation: black licorice, red licorice

Last week I took Chloe and Macie for their check ups.
Chloe had 4 shots and Macie had 3.
Evil.
I asked Chloe if she could be really brave and we could go get her a shopping cart that she had been eyeing at Target.
As we waited for eternity for the shots to get drawn, Chloe was losing her courage.
I peeked out the door to the nurse who was drawing the shots and said that I think I changed my mind and only wanted to do 2 today.
She was obviously highly annoyed and said, "Well I will have to send the Doctor back in."
And since I all too often try not to annoy people, I said, Oh, nevermind we'll just do them all.

Well it was awful.
Poor Chloe. She got stuck once and was horrified.
And then she just kept getting poked.
I felt absolutely terrible.
Adults don't even get 4 shots at one time.
And the Nurse was so crabby.
In fact maybe I will write them a letter and tell them that if they are going to be giving shots to children they could act a little more empathetic and at least not give away so easily their disdain for an upset child.
Grr.

Then my poor little Macie got 3.
She handled it a little better.
As soon as it was over I think she forgot that it had hurt.
But not Chloe. It took a half hour for her to become a stable human being again.
The worst part was her repeating over and over again to me, "Mommy! I was only supposed to get 1 shot, not 4!!"
Did I mention it was awful?

I just feel bad for kids. They live in their perfect worlds and then once in awhile they have to do something terrible and it just breaks their little hearts. I hate for them to find out that they better get used to it, because having a body can hurt a lot sometimes!

Good news is Chloe is done with shots until she 11. But I am not sure she is going to forget any time soon.
good thing she went swimming all day yesterday, otherwise I think it would have been a repeat of the day before when she complained that she couldn't walk because her legs hurt.

This week's milestones were:
Macie rolled over. And continues to be the most smiley and perfect baby in the whole entire world.
Chloe got over her fear of going under the water. she went swimming with her friend Bella who is fearless in the water, and it wore off on Chloe. I watched with extreme satisfaction, her practicing over and over again, dunking her head just a little at a time, one had holding onto the side of the pool, until she finally had her whole head go under. She was so proud of herself.

It is very exciting watching your child teaching themself how to do something and to overcome their fear.
It was a good day. I am glad, because the day at the Doctors was crap.

2011-06-08T20:54:00.000-07:00

I realized today that I have not taken hardly any pictures of my growing Macie. This month she has really filled out. As I was said to be in junior high, she is"pleasantly plump." And I love every inch of her rolly polliness But be warned- I find it annoying when people say "Oh she is getting so big..."and that's it, in a mournful voice. It makes me sad. Like she is no longer considered a baby or something because she is not 7 pounds anymore. I actually really like it when they get bigger and interactive. All the hard work of the first few weeks finally pays off when they smile after their tummy gets full, changed, or loved. So...if you are going to say, "Oh she is getting so big" please say it in a chipper voice, followed by, "I just love it when they fill out! They just get cuter and cuter."
Thank you and
You're welcome. Don really appreciates it when I tell him exactly what I need him to say. We are all a lot happier that way.

Chloe has been taking swimming lessons. And she wears this bathing suit every day, all day. It is nice because it cuts down on laundry. Also, bathing.
Just kidding.
Although, when I was in Junior High, on swimming days I didn't shower because I thought going swimming at school counted as my shower. And no, I didn't shower afterward either. Combine lack of personal hygiene and being pleasantly plump, and you can guess my popularity soared through the roof.
Apparently Don was very cool in Junior High. He got voted like "Coolest Guy" in 7th grade or something. It's because he is Latin and he probably had facial hair.
He is going to kill me for saying that. I will let you guess whether any of that was actually true.

Anyway...
Chloe liked swimming lessons a lot the first day. She became less enthralled when the idea was proposed that they put their heads under water. She told me she needed goggles to accomplish this. So I bought her some. Then she told me she did not like them because they made her eyes itchy. Today I was glad that she ran over to me during lessons and requested her goggles. Progress. Although I am not counting my chickens before they hatch. Every day is different with her and tomorrow I fully expect her to scoff at the idea of her head going under the water.
And that is when my Mom technique numero uno comes out-bribe with the possibility of ice cream.
I fully intend to turn Chloe pleasantly plump by Junior High as well.
She deserves to know the turmoil I endured during my most impressionable years.
just kidding again.

Chloe got a little too much sun.

Okay. I'll admit it. It is making me sad she is growing so fast. But don't agree with me (see first paragraph). It needs to slow down otherwise I am going to have to have another baby soon. And I so don't want to be pregnant soon.

2011-06-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

PS I am nervous.
I told Don this evening, "You know what would be a really great way to steal money? You sell something on Craigslist, drop it off, then come steal it back while they are gone and then sell it again to someone else."

And he said, "I was just thinking the exact thing."

Mind you, this was a totally random conversation as in a "hmmmm, I was just thinking by myself in the other room and I wanted to tell you."

I hope my couches are still there tomorrow.
Because my couches are just a little too perfect....

2011-06-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

I am the proud new owner of these couches. I am giddy. They are so beautiful. I got them for a steal off of Craigslist. The family was moving back east and couldn't take them. I love them so much. They are my dream couches. You should come over and sit on them with me sometime.

2011-06-05T13:26:00.000-07:00

I call this "Oven Art."

This was once my Pyrex casserole lid. (see last post)

I think I might sell it on Etsy and market it as modern art.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today at church:
Chloe gave her first prayer. Well in Primary that is.
Correction, I gave her first prayer.
She got up there and turned beet red and looked like she was going to cry and then hid behind me.
She is not shy, but apparently despises public speaking. Which used to be my number 1 fear up until a few years ago when I guess I got over it.

Also, Macie was sitting on my lap in Relief Society and started passing gas and filling her diaper very loudly. And I am not exaggerating when I say it was loud. It startled me it was so loud. When I realized things were not going so well down on her end, if you know what I mean, I carried her out, and attempted to change her, which was rather futile when she just kept on pooping and projectile pooping on me. So I just wrapped her up in her poop blanket and gave up. Speaking of Macie, I need to put up some new pictures of her because she has turned chubalicious. Which makes me happy and sad at the same time. Why do babies have to grow so fast??

Special Things

2011-06-04T15:20:00.000-07:00

So today I had a garage sale. Well it was more like a table sale. I actually sold a few things. Literally, a few. I made 10 bucks.I think I could have got more for my large fork and spoon that goes on your wall, the lady really liked them. Which would have surprised Don being that he thought they were worth about 10 cents. He said they looked like they were from Pick'N Save. I don't even know if that is a real store, or just a figurative word used to describe the place where one would buy crap.

Then a nice man came to my door and wanted me to donate to the Special Olympics. Well obviously I couldn't say no to that. I would feel like a horrible person. Like a person that steals the birthday presents from a child. So bascially I broke even today.

He said something that made me think. He said, "You've only got one life, you might as well make the most of what you have." And yes, partly true. But I believe there is more. I see these special people as perfect spirits in imperfect bodies. And this life is not all they have. I know that they we will all see them some day as they really are. So I agree with him that they, like all of us "normal" (ha!) people need to make the most out of what we have, but I also know that they will have so much more. I wanted to tell him that, but well...maybe he reads my blog. I consider it a privilege to have a special needs sister and that I have been given the opportunity to view these special people in an up close and personal way, and that my children will have the opportunity to learn too at an early age, that everyone deserves dignity, respect, and our love.

Well that was my spiritual insight for the day.

Also today, while I was blogging this, I was interrupted by the smell of burning plastic. Good thing Don came in and made me aware of it because my brain does not work so well and it didn't register, "Danger! Danger!"
Turns out Chloe and her 11 year old niece were preheating the oven to make brownies, and a certain someone left a large casserole type plastic lid in the oven. By the time all of us geniuses discovered it (not Don, he is rather intelligent), the lid was molten blue lava in my oven.
Which I am very excited to clean. Very excited.

I guess Chloe was in a baking mood today. She told me she wanted to make a carrot pie and I found her in the kitchen with a large bowl full of milk with a single floating baby carrot.

And that folks was my day. Insane. I felt much better after I found time to shower. At 4 PM.

Delectable Almond Cupcakes

2011-05-31T22:04:00.000-07:00

These are probably the best cupcakes. Ever. I mean it. I stole the recipe from my friend Robyn and I hope she doesn't mind me sharing the recipe. I just want all of you to make them and eat them because you will be smitten. They literally melt in your mouth.

Cake:
1 yellow cake mix
1 c. flour
1 cup sugar
3/4 tsp. salt
1 1/3 c. water
1 c. sour cream
2 tbsp. vegetable oil
1to 2 tsp almond flavoring
1 tsp. vanilla

Pour into cupcake pan.

Bake at 325 degrees for 12-18 minutes.

Frosting:
1 package cream cheese
1 C. sugar
1/8 tsp salt
1 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 tsp almond extract
1 1/2 cup whipping cream

Beat everything together but the whipping cream. Whip the cream in separate bowl, then fold in with all the other ingredients.

2011-05-29T14:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,
Here are some funny stories. Well I think they are funny.

Yesterday I fed Macie a spoonful of macaroni and cheese. I had been spoon feeding Chloe (okay I know she is too old for this, but I just wanted the kid to eat). I realized something was amiss when I heard Macie crying and not really eating the food. And then I said, "What in the world am I doing feeding Macie macaroni and cheese!"
I quickly ran to the sink to rinse out the poor thing's mouth.

And yet another check mark in my "Examples of Me Losing My Sanity" book.

Today I wore a pink skirt to church. Chloe saw this and said, "Mommy! I wear my pink dress like you!"
A few minutes later she came in my room wearing her pink poofy dress, white tights and sandals.
The tights and sandals were quite reminiscent of my Doc Martin sandals and socks faze.
She might have been able to pull it off had it not been that the sandals had a spot for her big toe and the tights didn't fit all that well around it.

I didn't want to discourage her, so I told her "I don't think you should wear the tights, it is going to be too hot."
To which she replied, "Is Teagan wearing tights today?"
And I said, "no."
And she said, "Oh! I go take them off then!"

Then I realized that this is not the lesson I want to teach her, that she should just wear and do whatever her peers are doing. First it is tights, next thing I know she is smoking cigars in the alley.

So then I tried to say, "Oh well if YOU want to wear them, you should. You don't have to wear the same things as your friends."

But it was too late. Teagan was not wearing tights so she definitely was not wearing them either.

The adventures in mothering takes another unexpected turn.

And lastly, yesterday I went to the store to look for drapes. Did not find drapes, but I did find a lot of things that I didn't know I wanted. Well I restrained myself and only walked out with a pink broom, which is what Chloe chose as her reward for being a good girl at her grandparents. This was a proud moment in my life. Although she is not using the broom much for sweeping but has found it makes a nice barricade for her parents, and an excellent tool for accidentally hitting people on the head.

2011-05-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

Some people are in denial. I know this because I am looking for a couch. So I am looking on Craigslist.
And like I said, some people are in serious denial.
If something was from 1988 how could they be "barely used."
Although, I tried to sell my Razor Phone for 40 bucks on Craigslist, not realizing I couldn't GIVE that piece of crapola away.
So I can admit I have no room to judge.

Also. Does your neighborhood get as many solicitors as I do? For the past 3 days in a row someone has come to my door wanting money. And when they tell you they are collecting money for drug addicts who are trying to get back on their feet...or when you can tell the person themself probably has a substance abuse problem and wants 10 dollars to spray paint your house number on the sidewalk....what do you do??
I would like to save the world, but I don't have enough money.
Maybe I could teach the world a song. I have heard in jingles and such that that could solve all the world's problems.
"I'd like to teach the world to sing..." You know the diddy right? Didn't your Mom listen to folk music too?
Somethin' like that. Although some people are tone deaf so that might not save the world either.
Well, I will keep thinking.

Two days ago this guy who looked like he had just graduated from the School of Hard Knocks, came to my door and said he was looking for work and asked if he could paint my address on my curb for a few bucks.
I said, "I'm moving!" Which seems to not deter anyone because I use this excuse every time and every time they have some come back like, "Oh your insurance will pay for it!"
Anyway, he said he would give me the "moving special" which was 10 dollars.

I am pretty sure he made up the moving special. And I am pretty sure that I got charged more than the regular special.
But I am a sucker so I agreed.

Now get this. The very next day ANOTHER guy showed up with the same rigmarole. I was not home, Don was. And he was not aware that I already paid someone the day before. And so he paid this guy 5 dollars to REpaint our curb!
I ran into this guy in the driveway while he was doing it, confused I said, "Uh, this was just painted yesterday."
And he said, "Oh, I saw that, that is why I gave your husband a deal. 5 dollars."

I am pretty sure his "deal" was the same price as his regular customers.
So total cost to get curb repainted: 15 dollars.

And...the Mortensens got suckered again.

Did I already tell you about my "free 5x7 and photo shoot"?
Ya right.
When I am presented with adorable pictures of my posterity, I have no agency, and of coarse there was nothing cheaper than $___. I am too embarrassed to say.
But you will see. You will see that my children's faces are priceless and I should not be expected to refuse their permanent smiling faces.

Sigh.

2011-05-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

1. Chloe is coming back tonight. I did not get nearly enough done.
But I will be happy to have her back.
We talked to her on the phone last night and she was all roses and rainbows with Don.
Then I talked to her. It started off well but then turned into pathetic commentary on her stay with the grandparents.

"Mommy! I cleaned out that wittle house! With a bwoom! It was dirrrrrrty!"
"Mommy! Gwandma and Gwandpa take me on the pwo haulah!"
And then the conversation turned south....

"Mommy...Can you come pick me up now? Cause I'm tiwed."
"I'm weally weally tiwed Mom. Can you come pick me up now? Cause I wanna come home."

This continued until Don interrupted and told her we had to go.
It was sad and it was funny.
I am glad she loves (mostly me) us so much. ; )

2. Every day I get a new medical bill. Or an update on a medical bill. Or a receipt on the medical bill. It has increased my junk mail by ten fold.
Unfortunately I cannot claim them as junk and just toss then out and just pretend like they were a figment of my imagination.
They were making me feel crazy. So I finally organized them all and wrote down how much and when they were all due.
And I figured out between me and Don's surgery and Macie, we owe 17 different people money.
No wonder they were making me feel crazy,
I wish there was a box right by the "credit card" or "check" options that said "other means."
And by other means I wished they accepted payment in one of the following forms:
* a song
* a plate of cookies
*an afternoon with my 4 year old
* a photo of myself
* a thank you note
* a garbage bag full of old clothes
or finally,
* an eye brow plucking (I am very good at this)

Unfortunately I think they just want my money.
Jerks!

2011-05-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

Chloe is out at her grandparents right now. Until Thursday!!!
I feel a little like this:
(I think the Dad portrays the same level of glee that I am currently experiencing)

I slept in until 10 AM today. It felt awesome.
Although my dreams were bizarre. I was back in college and I was really excited to be back because that was a really fun time in my life, but I kept wondering where my kids and Don were.

Anyway. I should be getting stuff done for the move. Instead I find myself daydreaming of what my new house will look like.

If I had my druthers, I would fashion Chloe's room in this theme. Look, it is a red headed mermaid!
Although if Chloe got to pick, this would be her dream:
I just can't do it.

Also, I love this couch .
But a new couch is priority 4, 678.
Also who am I kidding. It is white and velvet!
It would be ruined in 2 months.

Well enough stalling and day dreaming and onto folding clothes which is not nearly as exciting of a thought.

Some lovely bits of my house.

2011-05-21T15:13:00.000-07:00

I really love this custom paint job. I think purple and grey jumbled together are very zen, don't you?

Another thing that drew us to this house is the charming, quirky wall art. I mean who doesn't want a painted cat on their wall? And a badly painted cat at that.

In case you didn't catch on, the cat is chasing the mouse "Moe." And dear old Moe has a "hole" to escape to into the other room. So "cute"!

We also really loved the sun room with a painted garden. I had to look twice to see if these flowers were fake! I mean they are just that pretty! And the green carpet looks just like grass!

And look! We have a dilapidated shuffle board court!! We love Shuffle board. we play it every 10 years or so. Like when we go on a cruise.

But perhaps the best part is the desert wallpaper. It is very lovely.
I just knew you would all be jealous.

Easter

2011-05-21T14:42:00.000-07:00

Easter was April 24th. And a long time ago. I am behind. In a lot of things. Anyway we blessed Macie the same day and then had our usual family Easter luncheon. Macie was so good during the blessing. She is a chill little thing. Well she gets more and more chill. I like her. A lot. It was a really, really good day.

I told Don after church that we needed to take pictures right then at the church otherwise we would never get a picture of all us together. Well no one wanted to. And I was right. We got no family picture. And I didn't get any great shots of Chloe's dress. She looked like Maria in "The Sound of Music"when they do that little number about how it is time to go to sleep. We have a choreographed routine when we go to sleep too. Although it doesn't sound like melodious harmonies, more like screaming.

anyway her dress was darling and I would wear it if it came in my size.

Don's Dad led a discussion with the kids using "resurrection eggs." Basically a little game with eggs that tells about the last days of Christ's life.

Macie was a cutie in her Easter/blessing dress. I searched far and wide for that dress, and finally settled on one from Gap. And I say she looks quite angelic. I sure like my baby.

2011-05-18T18:07:00.001-07:00

Well, Chloe turned 4 today. And it is a poor time to have a Birthday being that we are in the middle of orchestrating a move and remodeling. I haven't even had time to feel nostalgic about it.

Last night we fell asleep with some pretty imminent things not done on our to do list.

We have been trying unsuccessfully to decide on paint colors. And if you really want to make an indecisive person insane, present them with 4 bazillion colors to choose from. It is not like there is just one "tan." Oh no....this tan has hues of pink, and this one has hues of yellow, but be careful because if you go too much one way, before you know it you have peach! And it is not the 80's anymore so that would be bad. I have spent too many hours of my life fretting over shade variances between almost identical swatches of color.

Anyway, we were contemplating paint last night and had all the swatches and such on our bed and Don said, "Well let's decide in the morning. Let's sleep on it. Literally." He so funny.

Well the morning came and then we had a roof dilemma. So we headed over to the place where you can look at roofs. Some guy gave us unhelpful info and Don commented later that he was a "Know nothing Know it all." He so funny.
I think he coined a phrase worthy of a t-shirt.

Then I went to Wal Mart to pick up stuff for our last minute Birthday hoorah.
Chloe said she wanted strawberry cake. And had it been a different time in my life, I would have liked to actually make her a cake. Alas, I bought already made Angel Food cake and threw on some strawberries and turned the regularly scheduled play group into a party. I don't think she knew the difference and was satisfied with her "party."

Then we came home and realized that our street was being resurfaced. Doy. So we had to park a zip code away. Which really was unfortunate being that I had a lot of stuff to carry to the car for Chloe's party. Including Macie. She was one trip.

And the rest of the day continued as crazily and now I am home. And my house looks wretched and my clean car is thrashed. And I still have only picked out one paint color.

And now that I have expressed my feelings for this day, I will press on and go tackle my disgusting kitchen.

Or I might go get Chloe's free Krispy Kremes.
Yep. That sounds like a better idea.

2011-05-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

I love this. My friend Heather showed this to me and it is too funny not share.

2011-05-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

Chloe saw a picture of a little girl with blonde hair on tv in a graduation cap and gown and she says, "Look it's Wizzy...when she was a little girl!"

And we saw the same commercial again this afternoon and she said the same thing and added..."When she had blonde hair!"

She must be remembering the pictures from last summer when Aunt Lizzy graduated and is wearing a cap and gown. I guess in Chloe's mind Aunt Lizzy is the only one who wears such a get up.

2011-05-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

We were driving today and Chloe says, "Mommy! Mommy! Look-it's the mean chicken!"
I had no idea what she could possibly be talking about. I looked behind me and saw this sign:

Also today, we went shopping for new carpet. Chloe found some light pink carpet and told us that is the one we should choose.
post edit: Don corrected me and said what Chloe actually said was "I found the best carpet in the world."

And lastly today Chloe dragged me over to our neighbor's house. The one where the police were called over for an "argument." Anyway the other day she saw children outside their house and ever since then she has been wanting to go over there to meet her "friends." I was glad they were not home.

Mother's day

2011-05-09T20:53:00.000-07:00

Mother's day was yesterday. We had a nice relaxing day. Don did about 3 loads of dishes for me. And fixed the dishwasher for me. He figured out that our dishes came out looking dirty all the time because they were in fact dirty, being that the water never hit the top rack of the washer. which goes to prove that our society is entirely too obsessed with sanitation and such because we never got sick. uh, just kidding.

Saturday we had a lunch at my sister in law's house. we do it every year and it is a great tradition. My only suggestion is that the men be the one's cooking the lunch.

Friday Don took me out for Italian food. And that was delicious.

And well, that was the timeline of my weekend.

sunday night we had cheese and apples for a snack and hit the hay aroun 10 PM.

I use Crest toothpaste and slept on white sheets.

And I think that is all the fascinating information I can think of about our weekend.

Feeling Sentimental

2011-05-09T20:44:00.000-07:00

I have an announcement.
If you are local than you probably already know.
If you aren't local then it probably doesn't really matter to you because well...it will become obvious when I tell you my announcement.

We are moving.
But only about 3 minutes away.

And I am feeling really sad about it.
I love my little house with the red door.

But you know what I really love about my little house with the red door?
That we moved into it when it was just the two of us.
And then it became the three of us.
And it was just the three of us for more than three years.
And then it became the four of us.
And all the years in between...there have been a lot of good memories.

And I am sad to leave the house that I brought my two little babies home to.
But I will just remind myself that I am taking my babies with me.
And it is not the house that makes the home.
But the people in it.

2011-04-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

Did you hear Prince William got married?
Ya, we went out a couple times, but it didn't work out.
We had a hard time understanding each other, with his low brow English accent and all.
My fake one is much classier.
Also the palace has some dumb rule about a Prince marrying someone who is already married with kids. I know, super dumb right?

I don't think I really envy that much about Kate Middleton. I wouldn't really want to be a princess.
But you know what I do want that she has?
Her legs.
I have always admired a good set of stems.

29.

2011-04-26T17:06:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day in my 20's.

How did this happen.
And why was I in such a hurry to become an adult?
I mean being "grown up" is alright I guess, but there are definitely pluses and minuses to the whole thing.

Pros:
I get to eat what I want.
I can drive.
I can wear make up.
I can get married.
I can have babies.
I am the master of my house.
I can stay up late.
I can talk on the phone to whoever and whenever I want.

Cons:
I have to pay Bills.
And taxes.
And talk to health insurance companies.
And pay more bills.
And mortgage companies.
And mechanics.
And make other people eat healthy stuff.
And make other people sleep while getting not enough of it myself.
I have to wear make up to look presentable.

Being an adult is kinda the pits sometimes.

I want to live on a farm where our only job is to harvest our own food. Where we have only bikes to get around, and I can pay my town doctor with our latest harvest of pecans.

...Course then someone gets typhoid fever and Mr. Frost sends a storm that ruins all our crops, and I guess that would be the end of us.

I guess things are pretty good after all.

2011-04-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

Don said he heard Chloe riding her bicycle down the hallway with a candy basket and saying, "candy bike... candy bike." Like she was the ice cream man.

Also today she beat me in a game of memory. The one where you match up the hidden pictures. I didn't even let her win. I knew I was losing my mind.

Vail

2011-04-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

Saturday we got invited down to Vail, AZ for my cousin Troy's son's baptism. I have always been really bad with apostrophes so I have no idea if I punctuated that last sentence correctly. My Aunt and Uncle from Idaho were there for it, so it was a real treat to see them all. It has been three years since last time we saw them.

Saturday was our actual anniversary and we had a great day with the family. It was an absolutely gorgeous spring day.

I had to bribe Chloe with fruit snacks to wear this outfit. We were in a hurry to get out and I had no time to negotiate with my picky fashionista. She was not happy about it though. I heard her saying, "This outfit is so dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb."

I could not figure out where she got this expression from. And then my Aunt pointed out that Chloe and Chelsey must be spending a lot of time together.

I can't believe I didn't put two and two together!

And now Chloe's new phrase, "aaaaaa...just forget it!" completely makes sense.

My Aunt and Uncle. Sorry Troy, I don't know how we managed to not get a picture of you guys.

A few other misc. pictures:

This was the day Chloe wanted ballerina hair. She was quite pleased with the results.

6 years

2011-04-25T08:35:00.000-07:00

This weekend was amazingly busy. Actually the whole month of April has been. I think it finally caught up to me because I was so exhausted last night it took monumental effort to switch myself from laying horizontally to vertically on my bed. Seriously. I had to talk myself into it for like 5minutes. Actually I think it was Don who finally convinced me. That's cause he wanted room to sleep too.

Anyway. I think I will do 3 separate posts because well it will be easier. I apologize to all you people with Google reader who will get 3 new blog posts from me. You probably do not care to know all the details of my busy weekend and I am sorry if you have to spend too much time scrolling down.

Friday night we celebrated our 6 year anniversary. We got some Thai food. Not because we are the "we like to try new things" type of couple, but because we had some coupons to eat there. We usually eat at the "Asian Cafe" down the street with the 4 dollar orange chicken bowl. Anyway it was really, really tasty and we did get out of our comfort zone and tried some unique things. Cause we are the "we like to try new things" type of couple. Didn't you know that?

Don ordered the "evil jungle woman" or something like that, in honor of me. I tried to get a good picture of us. As you can see, we failed. He must have erased the funniest one. Probably because he knew I would post it here. Which I would have, so that was some excellent foresight on his part.

We brought Macie with us. She sat quietly in her car seat. To ensure that, I just stuck a bottle in her mouth. She does not care for pacifiers all that much, but she likes sucking on a bottle of milk. she is not actually drinking the milk. So she must just like the flavored air. I get it: it works for adults too. It is called gum.

Then we went to Wal- Mart and did some Easter bunny shopping. I think we had a pretty swell time.

Birthday Chair

2011-04-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

Dear Don,

I am not sure you are aware, but my Birthday is coming up. Not just any birthday. My 30th birthday!! I think I deserve something big. So I think you should get me this chair. True it is only 450 dollars, but I think that is small pocket change to spend on the woman you love and adore and has supplied you with 2 lovely (and very loud) children. If Macie could talk she would want to tell you, "Dad, buy Mom this chair. She is awesome!" And I already ran it by Chloe, she thinks it is a great idea. (nevermind that Chloe thinks everything is a "great idea.")

Also, if that is not enough motivation right there, let me remind you are Anniversary is this week too. I would sacrifce and this gift could be a 2 for 1. I know I am very generous. You're welcome. I will go ahead and pick up those new socks for you for your anniversary gift. I would hate for you to go without something a little special for our Anniversary while I get this fabulous chair.

okay, just a helpful little reminder for you! I know how much you love it when I look online for "things."

Love,

Our Whirlwind Trip To Cali

2011-04-12T19:11:00.000-07:00

Don's cousin Alexie got married this weekend in San Diego and we took a trip out there. We got there Friday at 9 PM and came back Sunday morning. It was a crazy fast trip. Glad we went, but wow. Travelling with a newborn is exhausting. It is too bad our camera is junk because I got hardly any pictures of the good stuff, oh like the Bride and Groom coming out of the Temple, or a family picture of all of us, or a picture of my fabulous new red shoes, or the fantastic high rise condo we got to stay in with Don's cousin, who happens to live in the heart of downtown San Diego. But here are a few I did get.

Chloe on the couch. Chloe threw up in the middle of the night and was sickly the rest of the day. She was so sick she didn't care about the lemonade, or the cake, or the throngs of other children. Instead she went and laid on the couch in the foyer. It was truly pathetic.

Macie and my sister in law who will be providing Macie with a girl cousin pretty soon.

What a great picture of the bride and groom, huh. Well they sure made a nice looking couple, you will have to take my word for it.

One of the few smiles I got out of her that day.

Probably my favorite picture of all time.

Can you tell what is behind the paper and flowers? I thought it was a pretty ingenious way of hiding the church basketball hoop.

As previously mentioned I married into a mexican family, so there was a Mariachi band and dancing and Mexican food. You know, Mexicans sure know how to have a good party.

Don's family....

There is me. I wanted to show off my scarf, but well it didn't work.

Here I am doing some strange contortion with my hand. It looks like a swan's head.

Oh and on our way there, Chloe saw her very first snow. And Macie drank her very first sugared drink. she had some diluted apple juice. I think she liked it, but I wouldn't know she only has two expressions:really mad, and mildly happy. I think the juice face categorized as moderately happy.

There was also my sister in law's baby shower the day of the wedding...of course no pictures... And I was an hour late because apparently 411 has not updated their list in 5 years. In their opinion the only "Pat and Oscars" that existed in CA was in San Marcos, not San Diego.

Anyway, I am glad we went even though the trip mostly consisted of driving, getting children dressed, soothing upset children, and arguing about 1.Being lost or 2. Being late.

But the wedding was beautiful and seeing all the family was worth it.

Aaaaa....family trips. I think we needed one more day to just relax and put our feet in the sand. Literally. We never even made it to the beach. In fact I think I only saw the beach from the freeway. Uh, we did have a good time even though after rereading this it sounds like we didn't.

In other news, yesterday was Chelsy's 23rd birthday. It was a real festive occasion. We had some delicious strawberry cake and...well that was about it. But man, that was some seriously good cake.

Some Stories.

2011-04-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

We had a lovely weekend over here in sunny Arizona. Let's see what happened...
*Well we hit 100 degrees. (hooray.)
I am not in despair yet since it is cooling off again before its final assent into inhumane temperatures.

*We watched General Conference and felt uplifted and inspired.
While my husband went to the Priesthood session of conference (where they are told how to be better husbands, fathers, and well...men, thumbs up for this) I called up a girlfriend (thumbs up to Heather C.) and said, "Hey! let's go to the mall!"

So we went to the most confusing Mall on earth (there or like 4 levels, but the directory only says there are 2 levels because there are all these half levels, which apparently don't count as a real level. Don't the organizers of Malls and illustrators of the directories know about the stereotypes of the women at the Mall? We are not that smart.)

Anyway. It was fun. But I have come to a realization. I am old. Like, Mom old. (I say "like" because that is what people who go to the Mall say.)
I am going to be 30 this month after all.

Dear Don, for my Birthday I want....
Oh wait. I am not doing those lists anymore. Because they never work.
Except for Katie who got me my mistletoe. Now if only my husband would get on board.

Anyway (again.)
There are some hideous articles of clothing at the mall.

This is how I know I am old. Because cool, trendy, YOUNG people must think these clothes are cool because that is what is in all the stores. (Although I bring up a favorite Christmas morning story, like 14 years ago, when my older sister received pink stretch pants from my Mother and the rest of my family laughed hysterically for 5 minutes when she tried them on. To which my Mother defended, "Well...the store had racks and racks of them Elizabeth!!" To which we replied, "Mom! That's because no one was buying them!") Pink stretch pants were NOT in style back then, but now, well now they might be in style. Guess the fashion designers of the world wanted to bring back the 1980's in 1997, but the world was just not ready for the hideousness again. But apparently the world is ready now, because the 80's are back with a vengeance, and I hate it.

So I finally can say I have been in H&M and if this is what is considered to be fashion forward, I will happily stay fashion backwards.

No one, I repeat NO ONE looks good in these things. Okay, well the tall skinny gorgeous people do, but they would look a lot better in something else. If I had a body like that, I would not waste it on these horrible items of clothing just because I could pull it off. Oh wait on second thought, maybe I would. Just to show everyone that I was the 1 in a million girls that could actually pull it off.

MC Hammer called. He wants his pants back.

Jessie Spano called. She is looking for her jumpsuit.
Gee. What every woman needs. An outfit that poofs out at her waist, billows out at her thighs, and cinches in at her ankles. "Hey everyone, did you notice how thin my ankles look?" This would be a great thing if it were 1895. Ankles were the thing back thin. The only person that this outfit would benefit, would be someone with cankles.
Kelly Kapowski called. She wants her culottes back.

I want my knee length skirts and shorts to come back. And my boot leg pants.
I feel very sad about the state of fashion these days.

See. Like I told you. I am an old Mom.

*Also this weekend we had a little adventure with our toilet.
We were watching tv when Chloe comes running and says, "Mom! The aksasdhakslaskjlak."
I had no idea what she was saying.
Well I kind of did. I think I was just in denial. I hoped she had said something about toys. Not the toilet.
But no. She said, "Mom! The toiwet has wataw coming out!" Or something like that.
Because it took us so long to figure out what she was saying, by the time we got into the bathroom, there was an inch of toilet water on our floor and soaking into the carpet.
Conveniently I had to nurse Macie leaving Don to clean up the mayhem.

Well, on the bright side Don was finally motivated to snake the toilet and finally remove the object that has been giving us grief for a year. You see, my eye pencil fell down the toilet a year ago and has remained there ever since.
Don retrieved it for me. It was like seeing an artifact being pulled from the dark abyss of the deap sea. Although this was no Titanic "Heart of the Ocean" jewel.
He asked me if I wanted it.
I said, uh...no thanks.

And lastly, today Chloe had a friend over and hit him in the eye with a stick.
He was understandably upset.
I asked Chloe if it was on purpose or an accident.
She said, "It was on puwpose."
I said, "Well you need to stay in your room for 5 minutes."
To which she said, "Uh...it was on accident."

She hates being in her room.
The other day she figured out how to get out of it by using an electrical plug to open up the lock.
So it was taken from her room.
Later, after a subsequent sentencing and release from her room, she approaches me and asks, "Mom, you help me find that fing that has two fings?" She says this as she holds up a peace sign.
I figured out she was looking for the plug so it could be placed in her room again, you know, in preparation for future sentencing.

2011-04-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

Don had a pretty hard time keeping his eyes open.

Why do I think it is so funny? I don't know.

We did get one before our camera went kaput. And then I had to order a new cable online to download the pictures because ours broke and they no longer sell the type of cord we needed in stores. I love that technology is always changing and that we are always desperately behind. " I love technology, but not as much as you, you see. But I still love technology...."

Oh and here is Chloe keeping Macie's pacifier in her mouth. They both fell asleep this way. Sometimes Chloe can be rather charming. Too bad she won't do this at 3 in the morning. Because at 3 in the morning I don't think my baby is all that charming. Especially when she is crying and spitting her pacifier out.

The two things I need right now in my life are:

1. sleep and 2. personal space

Going to go work on #1.

2011-03-31T23:04:00.000-07:00

Tonight I took a trip to the Mall with my posterity.

I said posterity, not prosperity.

Although I did buy 3 cookies for 1 dollar at Subway. They were sort of stale. Too bad Paradise Bakery was already closed because they have really tasty cookies.

Anyway I needed to get out of the house. Don was still working so I decided I would try out my new sit and stand stroller at the Mall. I love my sit and stand stroller. One of these days I hope Macie decides to actually sit in something happily besides my arms.

Our first stop was Pottery Barn Kids which I think is an evil store. Why does everything in there have to be so cute and so expensive? And themed. I am really a lover of themes. They had this mermaid duvet cover. And I think I could really get into that theme. Maybe Chloe will let me do a room for her with a mermaid theme. She said she wants a room with a Dora theme. And I just don't think I can do it.

Then we stopped at a clothing store. Which depressed me further. I swear their clothes are for miniature women. Or for women that have not hit puberty will full force I guess. Although my perception might be a little skewed being that I recently gave birth to a good size bowling ball. Oh, by the way. DON'T try on clothes for a long, long, long...long time after giving birth. It was not all that helpful to my self esteem.

So you know what I did? Well I bought some cookies and ate them. And then I came home and had thirds of my dinner. And listened to my screaming baby all the way home.
And now I hear the delightful moaning of a half awake child.
So now I go to attend to the people who I hope stop with their ear shattering sounds soon.

I think it best I stay away from the Mall.

A Game of Who's Who

2011-03-29T00:29:00.001-07:00

Don is teaching Chloe how to skate. Don also has Chloe completing worksheets when he is babysitting and is also teaching her how to sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." (which makes me laugh and cry at the same time by the way.) If she ends up being really accomplished, it will all be because of Don. And if she has all the Disney movies memorized, well she can thank me.
Little Miss Macie is 7 weeks now. And still does a lot of sleeping and pooping. But we get an occasional smile which is very exciting. I take it as a "job well done Mom." Before they start smiling, they just look like very disgruntled customers.
Guess Who? Chloe!

Guess who? Macie!

Guess who? Chloe!
Guess who? Macie!

Macie....

So what do you think? Can you tell they are related?

2011-03-27T13:31:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Dave F. for sharing this little gem. It gets funnier every time I watch it.

2011-03-25T18:08:00.000-07:00

Today was insane.
I wandered around my house all day trying to get stuff done and getting nothing done.
Cleaning my house is like picking up sea shells at the sea shore. You pick some up, then turn around, and by george, there's a bunch more to pick up.
And at least if you are picking up sea shells you probably don't have the sound of a screaming baby, just the gentle ocean waves...aaaaahhh...that was my one tranquil thought for the day.

But this is rather comical:
Don has a scout camp out tonight.
He was in a rush to get out and they all piled into another scout master's car.
Well I am sweeping my floor for the 23rd time today and I notice Don's backpack just sitting there.
Hmmm. Bet that would come in handy tonight...
So I call him.
"Hey Don you left your pack."

And he says, "oh darn. can you meet me here over at Wal Mart? We are doing some shopping?"

I say, "Sure."
Somewhat of a pain, but no big deal, and it will save them time coming all the way back.

Well I look around for the Mazda keys and can't find them
So I call Don.
"Hey Don. Do you have the Mazda keys?"
And he says, "Yep. Oh darn. Well can you just drive the Jeep?"

And I say, "Sure."
Now this is somewhat of a larger pain because the Jeep is parked right in front of the Mazda and it will take some creative maneuvering to get that sucker out. But I look forward to the opportunity of proving to Don that I am in fact an excellent driver, so I welcomed the challenge.

So I get everyone in the car. Including my SCREAMING baby, who thinks the car seat must be some contraption that is going to send her speedily down a steep and tretcherous path to he** ....
And then guess what happened....

I turn the key and...
THE JEEP BATTERY IS DEAD.

Amazing.
Needless to say, that is when I officially threw in the towel.

2011-03-25T12:33:00.001-07:00

I pointed out a butterfly fluttering around in our front yard, to Chloe today.

She remarked, "Wow! I didn't know thewe awe buttaflies in da city?!"

Happy Tears

2011-03-20T13:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was just chillin' like a villain, that is slang for sitting on my couch nursing. And I came across the PBS special for the 25th Anniversay of Les Miserables.
And I became captivated and before I knew it, I had tears streaming down my cheeks because I was so enthralled by the beauty of the music. I am in awe of people this talented. So in awe, that it makes me cry. I was talking to my sister, and we decided that beautiful things make us cry. Perhaps this is a female thing. And why women cry at commercials with babies and old people holding hands. So we resolved to notice more of the beautiful things, because by golly, this world is overflowing with them. And they are all gifts from God to make our life on this earth...beautiful.
What beautiful things make you cry?

Oh, and check this one out too. He gets like a half hour standing ovation.

Choices

2011-03-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

Me: "Chloe. Would you like to take gymnastic lessons or ballet lessons?"

Chloe: " First I take gymnastic lessons. Then I take princesses lessons."

Does anyone know where you take princess lessons?
I guess I can just stick her in front of that "Meet The Kardashinas" show.

Some semi-oldies and some Newbies

2011-03-14T22:22:00.000-07:00

Chloe has been obsessed with dressing herself pretty much since she figured out how to do it. That has not changed. But lately it seems her outfits have taken a real turn for the worst. It used to be just wearing clothes that were too small. But she was sure to make things match. And now...well just look for yourself. A cry for attention perhaps since a little thing named Macie has come and stole her thunder?

Seriously though...2 kids is sort of hard. I kinda expected it would be, and in some ways it is easier than I thought...but the hardest part is the adjustment with Chloe. She adores the baby and will do anything to help out with the baby...but I think she must be feeling the loss of 24 hour attention from me and is resorting to some less than adorable behavior. I have Mother's guilt and all that for not spending as much quality time with her and it makes me sad.
Oh well. She needs some material for her future therapy sessions. Up until now I have been a perfect Mother.

Oh, by the way, Macie is a little doll. I've decided to keep her. Except for that time she tried to strangle her Grandpa. But her arms couldn't quite reach. Fail.

I look wretched, pay no attention to that, but those 2 little girls...sigh...

Chloe took this FANTASTIC picture of Aunt Wizzy when she came and visited us last month. We are liking Wizzy being in California. She visits us a lot more now.

The most hideous wall hanging I have ever seen. I believe it was made from the fur of Snuffalofogus,

And Don feeding me with our handy dandy trash picker up-er. It was pretty cool. But...the real must have cleaning tool is a magic wand. Unfortunately I have not seen one of those sold in the "as seen on tv" section of Wal-Mart.

Matching Men.

Chloe met about 4 Santas last year. She looks very excited about it, doesn't she?

This is a really boring blog post. But I am too tired to think of anything interesting to say.
Uh...Goodnight.

2011-03-08T20:14:00.001-08:00

Oh, and also today....
There is this salad at the Target Food counter that I really, REALLY want to try,
My friend was eating it the other day and ever since then I have been dying to try it.
On two separate occasions and at two different locations, I have tried unsuccessfully to order this salad.
Both times... "Sorry we are out of chicken."

Well my third attempt today, I was told by the employee that there were none ready, but he could make me one.
"Great!" I said.
But then there was all this confusion because he was getting off his shift in five minutes....

Anyway I said, "Well how about I wait over there and you bring it out when it is finished."
So Chloe and me sat down and shared a yogurt parfait while we waited.

And then 10 minutes later the employee comes out and says, "I'm sorry. We are out of chicken."

Of course they were out of chicken. When haven't they been?
I was sooooo so so close this time.

I wonder if I should suggest taking a little walk over to their grocery section and picking up a package of Archer Farms chicken.

Maybe one day I will be so lucky as to arrive at Target before all the other patrons eat all the chicken.